PART 1: FUNDAMENTAL FACTS YOU SHOULD KNOW ABOUT WORRY
CHAPTER 1: LIVE IN "DAY-TIGHT COMPARTMENT"
Our main business is not to see what lies dimly at a distance, but to do what lies clearly at hand.
The best possible way to prepare for tomorrow is to concentrate with all your intelligence, all your enthusiasm, on doing today's work superbly today. That is the only possible way you can prepare for the future.
2. Sir William Osier urged the students at Yale to begin the day with Christ's prayer: "Give us this day our daily bread". Remember that that prayer asks only for today's bread. It doesn't complain about the stale bread we had to eat yesterday; and it doesn't say: "Oh, God, it has been pretty dry out in the wheat belt lately and we may have another drought-and then how will I get bread to eat next autumn-or suppose I lose my job-oh, God, how could I get bread then?" No, this prayer teaches us to ask for today's bread only. Today's bread is the only kind of bread you can possibly eat.
"Take therefore no thought for the morrow; for the morrow shall take thought for the things of itself. Sufficient unto the day is the evil thereof". By all means take thought for the tomorrow, yes, careful thought and planning and preparation. But have no anxiety.
3. Whether in war or peace, the chief difference between good thinking and bad thinking is this: good thinking deals with causes and effects and leads to logical, constructive planning; bad thinking frequently leads to tension and nervous breakdowns.
One grain of sand at a time... One task at a time.
4. You and I are standing this very second at the meeting-place of two eternities: the vast past that has endured for ever, and the future that is plunging on to the last syllable of recorded time. We can't possibly live in either of those eternities-no, not even for one split second. But, by trying to do so, we can wreck both our bodies and our minds. So let's be content to live the only time we can possibly live: from now until bedtime.
5. So, the first thing you should know about worry is this: if you want to keep it out of your life, do what Sir William Osier did-shut the iron doors on the past and the future.
• Do I tend to put off living in the present in order to worry about the future, or to yearn for some "magical rose garden over the horizon"?
• Do I sometimes embitter the present by regretting things that happened in the past-that are over and done with?
• Do I get up in the morning determined to "Seize the day"-to get the utmost out of these twenty-four hours?
• Can I get more out of life by "living in day-tight compartments"?
• When shall I start to do this? Next week? Tomorrow? Today?
CHAPTER 2: A MAGIC FORMULA FOR SOLVING WORRY SITUATIONS
1. It is simple. Anyone can use it. It consists of three steps:
• Analyse the situation fearlessly and honestly and figured out what was the worst that could possibly happen as a result of this failure
• Reconcile myself to accepting it, if necessary
• From that time on, I calmly devoted my time and energy to trying to improve upon the worst which I had already accepted mentally
Acceptance of what has happened is the first step in overcoming the consequences of any misfortune.
2. When we have accepted the worst, we have nothing more to lose. And that automatically means-we have everything to gain! "After facing the worst," Willis H. Carrier reported, "I immediately relaxed and felt a sense of peace that I hadn't experienced in days. From that time on, I was able to think".
CHAPTER 3: WHAT WORRY MAY DO TO
"Business men who do not know how to fight worry die young."-DR. Alexis Carrel.
1. Fear causes worry. Worry makes you tense and nervous and affects the nerves of your stomach and actually changes the gastric juices of your stomach from normal to abnormal and often leads to stomach ulcers.
2. Their "nervous troubles" are caused not by a physical deterioration of the nerves, but by emotions of futility, frustration, anxiety, worry, fear, defeat, despair. Plato said that "the greatest mistake physicians make is that they attempt to cure the body without attempting to cure the mind; yet the mind and body are one and should not be treated separately!"
3. Worry can put you into a wheel chair with rheumatism and arthritis. Dr. Russell L. Cecil, of the Cornell University Medical School, is a world-recognised authority on arthritis; and he has listed four of the commonest conditions that bring on arthritis:
~ Marital shipwreck
~ Financial disaster and grief
~ Loneliness and worry
~ Long-cherished resentments
4. Few things can age and sour a woman and destroy her looks as quickly as worry. Worry curdles the expression. It makes us clench our jaws and lines our faces with wrinkles. It forms a permanent scowl. It may turn the hair grey, and in some cases, even make it fall out. It can ruin the complexion- it can bring on all kinds of skin rashes, eruptions, and pimples.
Worry is like the constant drip, drip, drip of water; and the constant drip, drip, drip of worry often drives men to insanity and suicide.Do you love life? Do you want to live long and enjoy good health? Here is how you can do it. I am quoting Dr. Alexis Carrel: "Those who keep the peace of their inner selves in the midst of the tumult of the modern city are immune from nervous diseases".
5. The fighting words of Dr. McCaffery: 'Face the facts: quit worrying; then do something about it!'
Part One In A Nutshell
RULE 1: If you want to avoid worry, do what Sir William Osier did: Live in "day-tight compartments". Don't stew about the future. Just live each day until bedtime.
RULE 2: The next time Trouble-with a capital T- comes gunning for you and backs you up in a corner, try the magic formula of Willis H. Carrier:
a. Ask yourself, "What is the worst that can possibly happen if I can't solve my problem?"
b. Prepare yourself mentally to accept the worst-if necessary.
c. Then calmly try to improve upon the worst-which you have already mentally agreed to accept.
RULE 3: Remind yourself of the exorbitant price you can pay for worry in terms of your health. "Business men who do not know how to fight worry die young".
However, getting all the facts in the world won't do us any good until we analyse them and interpret them.
* Maybe I won't be able to help you eliminate fifty per cent of your business worries. In the last analysis, no one can do that, except yourself. But what I can do is to show you how other people have done it and leave the rest to you!
* First, I immediately stopped the procedure I had been using a procedure that began with my troubled associates reciting all the details of what had gone wrong, and ending up by asking: 'What shall we do?' Second, I made a new rule-a rule that everyone who wishes to present a problem to me must first prepare and submit a memorandum answering these four questions:
~ What is the problem?
~ What is the cause of the problem?
~ What are all possible solutions of the problem?
~ What solution do you suggest?
Live in Day-tight Compartments. Why not ask yourself these questions, and write down the answers?
PART 2: BASIC TECHNIQUES IN ANALYSING WORRY
CHAPTER 4: HOW TO ANALYSE AND SOLVE WORRY PROBLEMS
1. We must equip ourselves to deal with different kinds of worries by learning the three basic steps of problem analysis:
• Get the facts
Why is it so important to get the facts?Because unless we have the facts we can't possibly even attempt to solve our problem
intelligently. Without the facts, all we can do is stew around in confusion.
• Analyse the facts
Write down four questions-and the answers to these questions:
a. What am I worrying about?
b. What can I do about it?
c. Deciding what to do
d. Starting immediately to carry out that decision
• Arrive at a decision-and then act on that decision
2. Two ideas that I have found helpful when trying to step aside from my problems, in order to see the facts in a clear, objective manner:
~When trying to get the facts, I pretend that I am collecting this information not for myself, but for some other person. This helps me to take a cold, impartial view of the evidence. This helps me eliminate my emotions.
~While trying to collect the facts about the problem that is worrying me, I sometimes pretend that I am a lawyer preparing to argue the other side of the issue. In other words, I try to get all the facts against myself-all the facts that are damaging to my wishes, all the facts I don't like to face.
3. William James said this: "When once a decision is reached and execution is the order of the day, dismiss absolutely all responsibility and care about the outcome." In this case, William James undoubtedly used the word "care" as a synonym for "anxiety". He meant-once you have made a careful decision based on facts, go into action. Don't stop to reconsider. Don't begin to hesitate worry and retrace your steps. Don't lose yourself in self-doubting which begets other doubts. Don't keep looking back over your shoulder.
CHAPTER 5: HOW TO ELIMINATE FIFTY-PERCENT OF YOUR BUSINESS WORRIES
"Business men who do not know how to fight worry die young" (Dr. Alexis Carrel)
Part Two In A Nutshell
RULE 1: Get the facts. Remember that Dean Hawkes of Columbia University said that "half the worry in the world is caused by people trying to make decisions before they have sufficient knowledge on which to base a decision."
RULE 2: After carefully weighing all the facts, come to a decision.
RULE 3: Once a decision is carefully reached, act! Get busy carrying out your decision-and dismiss all anxiety about the outcome.
RULE 4: When you, or any of your associates are tempted to worry about a problem, write out and answer the following questions:
a. What is the problem?
b. What is the cause of the problem?
c. What are all possible solutions?
d. What is the best solution?
In A Nutshell
1. Develop a deep, driving desire to master the principles of conquering worry.
2. Read each chapter twice before going on to the next one.
3. As you read, stop frequently to ask yourself how you can apply each suggestion.
4. Underscore each important idea.
5. Review this book each month.
6. Apply these principles at every opportunity. Use this volume as a working handbook
to help you solve your daily problems.
7. Make a lively game put of your learning by offering some friend a shilling every time
he catches you violating one of these principles.
8. Check up each week on the progress you are making. Ask yourself what mistakes
you have made, what improvement, what lessons you have learned for the future.
9. Keep a diary in the back of this book showing how and when you have applied these
RULE 1: Get the facts. Remember that Dean Hawkes of Columbia University said that "half the worry in the world is caused by people trying to make decisions before they have sufficient knowledge on which to base a decision."
RULE 2: After carefully weighing all the facts, come to a decision.
RULE 3: Once a decision is carefully reached, act! Get busy carrying out your decision-and dismiss all anxiety about the outcome.
RULE 4: When you, or any of your associates are tempted to worry about a problem, write out and answer the following questions:
a. What is the problem?
b. What is the cause of the problem?
c. What are all possible solutions?
d. What is the best solution?
In A Nutshell
1. Develop a deep, driving desire to master the principles of conquering worry.
2. Read each chapter twice before going on to the next one.
3. As you read, stop frequently to ask yourself how you can apply each suggestion.
4. Underscore each important idea.
5. Review this book each month.
6. Apply these principles at every opportunity. Use this volume as a working handbook
to help you solve your daily problems.
7. Make a lively game put of your learning by offering some friend a shilling every time
he catches you violating one of these principles.
8. Check up each week on the progress you are making. Ask yourself what mistakes
you have made, what improvement, what lessons you have learned for the future.
9. Keep a diary in the back of this book showing how and when you have applied these
PART 3: HOW TO BREAK THE WORRY HABIT BEFORE IT BREAKS YOU
CHAPTER 6: HOW TO CROWD WORRY OUT OF YOUR MIND
1. I realised that it is difficult to worry while you are busy doing something that requires planning and thinking.
"I'm too busy. I have no time for worry" (Winston Churchill).
To break the worry habit, here is Rule 1:
Keep busy. The worried person must lose himself in action, lest be wither in despair.
2. The great scientist, Pasteur, spoke of "the peace that is found in libraries and laboratories." Why is peace found there? Because the men in libraries and laboratories are usually too absorbed in their tasks to worry about themselves. Research men rarely have nervous breakdowns. They haven't time for such luxuries. Why does such a simple thing as keeping busy help to drive out anxiety? Because of a law-one of the most fundamental laws ever revealed by psychology. And that law is: that it is utterly impossible for any human mind, no matter how brilliant, to think of more than one thing at any given time.
"A certain comfortable security, a certain profound inner peace, a kind of happy numbness, soothes the nerves of the human animal when absorbed in its allotted task" (John Cowper Powys, The Art of Forgetting the Unpleasant).
"Without purpose, the days would have ended, as such days always end, in disintegration."
3. George Bernard Shaw summed it all up when he said: "The secret of being miserable is to have the leisure to bother about whether you are happy or not." So don't bother to think about it! Spit on your hands and get busy. Your blood will start circulating; your mind will start ticking -and pretty soon this whole positive upsurge of life in your body will drive worry from your mind. Get busy. Keep busy. It's the cheapest kind of medicine there is on this earth-and one of the best.
CHAPTER 7: DON'T LET THE BEETLES GET YOU DOWN
1. Bar-room bravado, domestic wrangling, an insulting remark, a disparaging word, a rude action-those are the little things that lead to assault and murder. Very few of us are cruelly and greatly wronged. It is the small blows to our self-esteem, the indignities, the little jolts to our vanity, which cause half the heartaches in the world.
2. Disraeli said: "Life is too short to be little." "Those words," said Andre Maurois in This Week magazine, "have helped me through many a painful experience: often we allow ourselves to be upset by small things we should despise and forget. Here we are on this earth, with only a few more decades to live, and we lose many irreplaceable hours brooding over grievances that, in a year's time, will be forgotten by us and by everybody. No, let us devote our life to worth-while actions and feelings, to great thoughts, real affections and enduring undertakings. For life is too short to be little."
3. Aren't we all like that battling giant of the forest? Don't we manage somehow to survive the rare storms and avalanches and lightning blasts of We, only to let our hearts be eaten out by little beetles of worry-little beetles that could be crushed between a finger and a thumb?
To break the worry habit before it breaks you, here is Rule 2:
Let's not allow ourselves to be upset by small things we should despise and forget. Remember "Life is too short to be little."
1. Bar-room bravado, domestic wrangling, an insulting remark, a disparaging word, a rude action-those are the little things that lead to assault and murder. Very few of us are cruelly and greatly wronged. It is the small blows to our self-esteem, the indignities, the little jolts to our vanity, which cause half the heartaches in the world.
2. Disraeli said: "Life is too short to be little." "Those words," said Andre Maurois in This Week magazine, "have helped me through many a painful experience: often we allow ourselves to be upset by small things we should despise and forget. Here we are on this earth, with only a few more decades to live, and we lose many irreplaceable hours brooding over grievances that, in a year's time, will be forgotten by us and by everybody. No, let us devote our life to worth-while actions and feelings, to great thoughts, real affections and enduring undertakings. For life is too short to be little."
3. Aren't we all like that battling giant of the forest? Don't we manage somehow to survive the rare storms and avalanches and lightning blasts of We, only to let our hearts be eaten out by little beetles of worry-little beetles that could be crushed between a finger and a thumb?
To break the worry habit before it breaks you, here is Rule 2:
Let's not allow ourselves to be upset by small things we should despise and forget. Remember "Life is too short to be little."
CHAPTER 8: A LAW THAT WILL OUTLAW MANY OF YOUR WORRIES
I gradually discovered that ninety-nine percent of the things I worried about never happened.
1. Relax. Let's think this out. ... What are you really worrying about? Let's examine the law of averages and see whether or not it is likely to happen.
"Nearly all the worries and unhappiness came from their imagination, and not from reality" (General George Crook).
2. When Al Smith was Governor of New York, I heard him answer the attacks of his political enemies by saying over and over: "Let's examine the record ... let's examine the record." Then he proceeded to give the facts. The next time you and I are worrying about what may happen, let's take a tip from wise old Al Smith: let's examine the record and see what basis there is, if any, for our gnawing anxieties.
To break the worry habit before it breaks you-here is Rule 3:
"Let's examine the record." Let's ask ourselves: "What are the chances, according to the law of averages, that this event I am worrying about will ever occur?"
I gradually discovered that ninety-nine percent of the things I worried about never happened.
1. Relax. Let's think this out. ... What are you really worrying about? Let's examine the law of averages and see whether or not it is likely to happen.
"Nearly all the worries and unhappiness came from their imagination, and not from reality" (General George Crook).
2. When Al Smith was Governor of New York, I heard him answer the attacks of his political enemies by saying over and over: "Let's examine the record ... let's examine the record." Then he proceeded to give the facts. The next time you and I are worrying about what may happen, let's take a tip from wise old Al Smith: let's examine the record and see what basis there is, if any, for our gnawing anxieties.
To break the worry habit before it breaks you-here is Rule 3:
"Let's examine the record." Let's ask ourselves: "What are the chances, according to the law of averages, that this event I am worrying about will ever occur?"
CHAPTER 9: CO-OPERATE WITH THE INEVITABLE
1. It is astonishing how quickly we can accept almost any situation-if we have to-and adjust ourselves to it and forget about it. I often think of an inscription on the ruins of a fifteenth-century cathedral in Amsterdam, Holland. This inscription says in Flemish: "It is so. It cannot be otherwise." As you and I march across the decades of time, we are going to meet a lot of unpleasant situations that are so. They cannot be otherwise. We have our choice. We can either accept them as inevitable and adjust ourselves to them, or we can ruin our lives with rebellion and maybe end up with a nervous breakdown.
"Be willing to have it so. Acceptance of what has happened is the first step to overcoming the consequence of any misfortune" (William James).
2. Obviously, circumstances alone do not make us happy or unhappy. It is the way we react to circumstances that determines our feelings. Jesus said that the kingdom of heaven is within you. That is where the kingdom of hell is, too. We can all endure disaster and tragedy and triumph over them-if we have to. We may not think we can, but we have surprisingly strong inner resources that will see us through if we will only make use of them. We are stronger than we think.
"Be willing to have it so. Acceptance of what has happened is the first step to overcoming the consequence of any misfortune" (William James).
2. Obviously, circumstances alone do not make us happy or unhappy. It is the way we react to circumstances that determines our feelings. Jesus said that the kingdom of heaven is within you. That is where the kingdom of hell is, too. We can all endure disaster and tragedy and triumph over them-if we have to. We may not think we can, but we have surprisingly strong inner resources that will see us through if we will only make use of them. We are stronger than we think.
For every ailment under the sun.
There is a remedy, or there is none;
If there be one, try to find it;
If there be none, never mind it.
"I wouldn't worry if I lost every cent I have because I don't see what is to be gained by worrying. I do the best job I possibly can; and leave the results in the laps of the gods" (J.C.Penney).
"When we stop fighting the inevitable, we release energy which enables us to create a richer life" (Elsie Mac-Cormick).
3. God grant me the serenity To accept the things I cannot change; The courage to change the things I can; And the wisdom to know the difference (Dr. Reinhold Niebuhr).To break the worry habit before it breaks you, Rule 4 is:
Co-operate with the inevitable.
Co-operate with the inevitable.
CHAPTER 10: PUT A "STOP LOSS" ORDER ON YOUR WORRIES
1. Burton S. Castles said: 'I put a stop-loss order on every market commitment I make. If I buy a stock at, say, fifty dollars a share, I immediately place a stop-loss order on it at forty-five.' That means that when and if the stock should decline as much as five points below its cost, it would be sold automatically, thereby, limiting the loss to five points. " 'If your commitments are intelligently made in the first place, your profits will average ten, twenty-five, or even fifty points. Consequently, by limiting your losses to five points, you can be wrong more than half of the time and still make plenty of money?'
2. Henry Thoreau wrote in his diary: "The cost of a thing is the amount of what I call life, which is required to be exchanged for it immediately or in the long run". To put it another way: we are fools when we overpay for a thing in terms of what it takes out of our very existence.
3. I honestly believe that this is one of the greatest secrets to true peace of mind-a decent sense of values. And I believe we could annihilate fifty per cent of all our worries at once if we would develop a sort of private gold standard-a gold standard of what things are worth to us in terms of our lives.
1. Burton S. Castles said: 'I put a stop-loss order on every market commitment I make. If I buy a stock at, say, fifty dollars a share, I immediately place a stop-loss order on it at forty-five.' That means that when and if the stock should decline as much as five points below its cost, it would be sold automatically, thereby, limiting the loss to five points. " 'If your commitments are intelligently made in the first place, your profits will average ten, twenty-five, or even fifty points. Consequently, by limiting your losses to five points, you can be wrong more than half of the time and still make plenty of money?'
2. Henry Thoreau wrote in his diary: "The cost of a thing is the amount of what I call life, which is required to be exchanged for it immediately or in the long run". To put it another way: we are fools when we overpay for a thing in terms of what it takes out of our very existence.
3. I honestly believe that this is one of the greatest secrets to true peace of mind-a decent sense of values. And I believe we could annihilate fifty per cent of all our worries at once if we would develop a sort of private gold standard-a gold standard of what things are worth to us in terms of our lives.
So, to break the worry habit before it breaks you, here is Rule 5:
Whenever we are tempted to throw good money after bad in terms of human living, let's stop and ask ourselves these three Questions:
* How much does this thing I am worrying about really matter to me?
* At what point shall I set a "stop-loss" order on this worry -and forget it?
Whenever we are tempted to throw good money after bad in terms of human living, let's stop and ask ourselves these three Questions:
* How much does this thing I am worrying about really matter to me?
* At what point shall I set a "stop-loss" order on this worry -and forget it?
* Exactly how much shall I pay for this whistle? Have I already paid more than it is
worth?
worth?
CHAPTER 11: DON'T TRY TO SAW SAWDUST
1. 'Don't cry over spilt milk!' That milk is gone you can see it's down the drain; and all the fussing and hair-pulling in the world won't bring back a drop of it. With a little thought and prevention, that milk might have been saved. But it's too late now-all we can do is write it off, forget it, and go on to the next thing.'
2. "How many of you have ever sawed sawdust? Of course, you can't saw sawdust!" Mr. Shedd exclaimed. "It's "Of course, you can't saw sawdust!" Mr. Shedd exclaimed. "It's already sawed! And it's the same with the past. When you start worrying about things that are over and done with, you're merely trying to saw sawdust."
3. Why waste the tears? Of course, we have been guilty of blunders and absurdities! And so what? Who hasn't? Even Napoleon lost one-third of all the important battles he fought. Perhaps our batting average is no worse than Napoleon's. Who knows?
Part Three In A Nutshell - How To Break The Worry Habit Before It Breaks You
RULE 1: Crowd worry out of your mind by keeping busy. Plenty of action is one of the best therapies ever devised for curing "wibber gibbers".
RULE 2: Don't fuss about trifles. Don't permit little things-the mere termites of life-to ruin your happiness.
RULE 3: Use the law of averages to outlaw your worries. Ask yourself: "What are the odds against this thing's happening at all?"
RULE 4: Co-operate with the inevitable. If you know a circumstance is beyond your power to change or revise, say to yourself "It is so; it cannot be otherwise."
RULE 5: Put a "stop-loss" order on your worries. Decide just how much anxiety a thing may be worth-and refuse to give it any more.
RULE 6: Let the past bury its dead. Don't saw sawdust.
PART 4: SEVEN WAYS TO CULTIVATE A MENTAL ATTITUDE THAT WILL BRING YOU PEACE AND HAPPINESS
CHAPTER 12: EIGHT WORDS THAT CAN TRANSFORM YOUR LIFE
1. I was asked to answer this question on a radio programme: "What is the biggest lesson you have ever learned?" That was easy: by far the most vital lesson I have ever learned is the importance of what we think. If I knew what you think, I would know what you are. Our thoughts make us what we are. Our mental attitude is the X factor that determines our fate. Emerson said: "A man is what he thinks about all day long." How could he possibly be anything else?
2. In fact, almost the only problem we have to deal with-is choosing the right thoughts. If we can do that, we will be on the highroad to solving all our problems. The great philosopher who ruled the Roman Empire, Marcus Aurelius, summed it up in eight words-eight words that can determine your destiny:
"Our life is what our thoughts make it."
Our mental attitude has an almost unbelievable effect even on our physical powers.
When moments of uneasiness try to creep in (as they will in everyone's life) I tell myself to get that camera back in focus, and everything is OK.
3. I am deeply convinced that our peace of mind and the joy we get out of living depends not on where we are, or what we have, or who we are, but solely upon our mental attitude.
4. William James tells us that we cannot instantly change our emotions just by "making up our minds to"-but that we can change our actions. And that when we change our actions, we will automatically change our feelings.
5. Let's fight for our happiness by following a daily programme of cheerful and constructive thinking. Here is such a programme. It is entitled "Just for Today":
• Just for today I will be happy. This assumes that what Abraham Lincoln said is true, that "most folks are about as happy as they make up their minds to be." Happiness is from within; it is not a matter of externals.
• Just for today I will try to adjust myself to what is, and not try to adjust everything to my own desires. I will take my family, my business, and my luck as they come and fit myself to them.
• Just for today I will take care of my body. I will exercise it, care for it, nourish it, not abuse it nor neglect it, so that it will be a perfect machine for my bidding.
• Just for today I will try to strengthen my mind. I will learn something useful. I will not be a mental loafer. I will read something that requires effort, thought and concentration.
• Just for today I will exercise my soul in three ways: I will do somebody a good turn and not get found out. I will do at least two things I don't want to do, as William James suggests, just for exercise.
• Just for today I will be agreeable. I will look as well as I can, dress as becomingly as possible, talk low, act courteously, be liberal with praise, criticise not at all, nor find fault with anything and not try to regulate nor improve anyone.
• Just for today I will try to live through this day only, not to tackle my whole life problem at once. I can do things for twelve hours that would appall me if I had to keep them up for a lifetime.
• Just for today I will have a programme. I will write down what I expect to do every hour. I may not follow it exactly, but I will have it. It will eliminate two pests, hurry and indecision.
• Just for today I will have a quiet half-hour all by myself and relax. In this half-hour sometimes I will think of God, so as to get a little more perspective into my life.
• Just for today I will be unafraid, especially I will not be afraid to be happy, to enjoy what is beautiful, to love, and to believe that those I love, love me.
Rule 1:
Think and act cheerfully, and you will feel cheerful.
CHAPTER 13: THE HIGH COST OF GETTING EVEN
1. When we hate our enemies, we are giving them power over us: power over our sleep, our appetites, our blood pressure, our health, and our happiness. Our enemies would dance with joy if only they knew how they were worrying us, lacerating us and getting even with us! Our hate is not hurting them, but our hate is turning our own days and nights into a hellish turmoil.
2. So you see that when Jesus said: "Love your enemies", He was not only preaching sound ethics. He was also preaching twentieth-century medicine. When He said: "Forgive seventy time seven", Jesus was telling you and me how to keep from having high blood pressure, heart trouble, stomach ulcers, and many other ailments. When Jesus said: "Love your enemies", He was also telling us how to improve our looks.
Hatred destroys our ability to enjoy even our food. The Bible puts it this way "Better is a dinner of herbs where love is, than a stalled ox and hatred therewith."
3. We may not be saintly enough to love our enemies, but, for the sake of our own health and happiness, let's at least forgive them and forget them. That is the smart thing to do. "To be wronged or robbed," said Confucius, "is nothing unless you continue to remember it." I once asked General Eisenhower's son, John, if his father ever nourished resentments. "No," he replied, "Dad never wastes a minute thinking about people he doesn't like."
There is an old saying that a man is a fool who can't be angry, but a man is wise who won't be angry.
Jesus said: "Love your enemies, bless them that curse you, do good to them that hate you, and pray for them which despitefully use you, and persecute you".
Rule 2:
Let's never try to get even with our enemies, because if we do we will hurt ourselves far more than we hurt them. Let's do as General Eisenhower does: let's never waste a minute thinking about people we don't like.
CHAPTER 14: IF YOU DO THIS, YOU WILL NEVER WORRY ABOUT INGRATITUDE
"Gratitude is a fruit of great cultivation. You do not find it among gross people" (Dr. Samuel Johnson).
1. Marcus Aurelius wrote: "I am going to meet people today who talk too much-people who are selfish, egotistical, ungrateful. But I won't be surprised or disturbed, for I couldn't imagine a world without such people." That makes sense, doesn't it? If you and I go around grumbling about ingratitude, who is to blame? Is it human nature-or is it our ignorance of human nature? Let's not expect gratitude. Then, if we get some occasionally, it will come as a delightful surprise. If we don't get it, we won't be disturbed.
It is natural for people to forget to be grateful; so, if we go around expecting gratitude, we are headed straight for a lot of heartaches.
2. There are thousands of people who are ill from "ingratitude", loneliness, and neglect. They long to be loved; but the only way in this world that they can ever hope to be loved is to stop asking for it and to start pouring out love without hope of return.
"The ideal man takes joy in doing favours for others; but he feels ashamed to have others do favours for him. For it is a mark of superiority to confer a kindness; but it is a mark of inferiority to receive it" (Aristotle).
If we want to find happiness, let's stop thinking about gratitude or ingratitude and give for the inner joy of giving.
3. So let us remember that to raise grateful children, we have to be grateful. Let us remember "little pitchers have big ears"-and watch what we say. To illustrate-the next time we are tempted to belittle someone's kindness in the presence of our children, let's stop.
To avoid resentment and worry over ingratitude, here is Rule 3:
A. Instead of worrying about ingratitude, let's expect it. Let's remember that Jesus healed ten lepers in one day-and only one thanked Him. Why should we expect more gratitude than Jesus got?
B. Let's remember that the only way to find happiness is not to expect gratitude, but to give for the joy of giving.
C. Let's remember that gratitude is a "cultivated" trait; so if we want our children to be grateful, we must train them to be grateful.
CHAPTER 15: WOULD YOU TAKE A MILLION DOLLARS FOR WHAT YOU HAVE?
I had the blues because I had no shoes, until upon the street, I met a man who had no feet.
Why don't you stop right now and ask yourself: "What in the hell am I worrying about?" You will probably find that it is comparatively unimportant and insignificant.
1. About ninety percent of the things in our lives are right and about ten percent are wrong. If we want to be happy, all we have to do is to concentrate on the ninety percent that are right and ignore the ten percent that are wrong. If we want to be worried and bitter and have stomach ulcers, all we have to do is to concentrate on the ten percent that are wrong and ignore the ninety percent that are glorious."Think and Thank". Think of all we have to be grateful for, and thank God for all our boons and bounties.
2. Would you sell both your eyes for a billion dollars? What would you take for your two legs? Your hands? Your hearing? Your children? Your family? Add up your assets, and you will find that you won't sell what you have for all the gold ever amassed by the Rockefellers, the Fords and the Morgans combined. But do we appreciate all this? Ah, no. As Schopenhauer said: "We seldom think of what we have but always of what we lack." Yes, the tendency to "seldom think of what we have but always of what we lack" is the greatest tragedy on earth. It has probably caused more misery than all the wars and diseases in history. "The habit of looking on the best side of every event is worth more than a thousand pounds a year" (Dr. Johnson).
Logan Pearsall Smith said: "There are two things to aim at in life: first, to get what you want; and, after that, to enjoy it. Only the wisest of mankind achieve the second."
3. Imagine thanking God because you can wash dishes and see rainbows in bubbles and sparrows flying through the snow. You and I ought to be ashamed of ourselves. All the days of our years we have been living in a fairyland of beauty, but we have been too blind to see, too satiated to enjoy.Rule 4:
Count your blessings-not your troubles!
Count your blessings-not your troubles!
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