TULUS ATAU BULUS?

Kemarin ketua komselku en keluarganya kena covid. Karena aku akrab en care ama mereka, aku langsung kirim makanan ke rumah mereka tanpa babibu. Aku tau masa2 ini aku cuma bisa mendoakan mereka, support secara mental, serta kirim makanan untuk meringankan kesulitan mereka yang ga boleh keluar rumah. Aku bersyukur kenal mereka, banyak diberkati en dikuatkan dengan kehadiran mereka selama ini. 

Siangnya istri ketua komsel pasang IG story tentang kiriman makananku ama 1 temen. Lalu sorenya ada 1 temen yang chat aku, rasanya dia ke-trigger karena postingan IG story itu. Aku sadar kalo arek ini sangat aneh, penuh ketidakjelasan, serta bener2 cari perhatian dengan cara2 yang memuakkan di komsel. Aku ngerasa aneh ketika dia bilang mau mbelani masak buat ketua komsel, padahal ketika temen lamanya kena covid, dia sama sekali ga kirim makanan padahal tau mamanya temen kami ini lagi di luar negeri sehingga ga ada yang masak di rumahnya, dia bahkan hanya kirim chat gambar uang. Bener2 freak menurutku. Dia sama sekali ga isa menghargai atopun membalas kebaikan orang yang selama ini nganggep dia temen bahkan sering kirim makanan buat dia. 

Dan menurutku bener2 ga wajar ketika arek ini chat aku. Satu, seolah2 pamer kalo dia mau masak buat ketua komsel (which is pamer skill dia, dimana aku ama temen satunya cuma beliin makanan), dia pengen nunjukkin kalo dia kasi effort lebih supaya keliatan waow. Padahal menurutku, dengan cara seperti itu, malah makin menunjukkan bahwa dia bener2 punya low self-esteem sehingga perlu unjuk gigi. Kedua, kenapa dia bilang mau masak buat ketua komsel yang notabene cowok, padahal ada istrinya yang pasti juga masak buat mereka sekeluarga. Aku bener2 nangkep kalo arek ini masih punya perhatian en harapan ga wajar ke pria dewasa yang menurutnya care ke dia, sekalipun pria ini sudah beristri. Ketiga, kalo dia bener2 care en tulus, kenapa sih ga langsung kirim makanan ke rumah mereka tanpa chat aku? Niat pamer, ga mau kalah, ato emang ada niat laen? 

Jujur aja, aku jengkel ketika arek ini chat aku dengan semua keanehan serta ketidakjelasannya. Aku kira selama berbulan2 kami bimbing en kami didik, dia mulai ngerti banyak hal. Nyatanya, manusia emang sulit banget berubah. Ditambah lagi dia ga punya value yang benar akibat didikan ortunya yang ga jelas arahnya. Tapi aku menyadari kalo arek ini Tuhan pakai untuk memproses hatiku juga. Dengan melayani dia, aku semakin disadarkan bahwa aku ada di jalan yang benar, en aku bersyukur ortuku mendidikku dengan amat baik. 

So, aku sama sekali ga mau menilai diriku gagal dalam mendidik arek ini, sekalipun banyak waktu kuhabiskan untuk konselingi dia, mempengaruhi dia, atopun mendoakan dia. Aku tau bahwa dia pun masih perlu diproses, aku tau dia masih banyak bergumul dengan self-esteem dan value2 yang benar. Sebenernya aku kasian banget ama arek ini, karena walopun kami seumuran, dia ga paham banyak tentang core value, tentang gimana punya a healthy relationship, gimana menempatkan diri atopun bersikap. Aku mau belajar memaklumi serta bersikap dengan benar, sekalipun arek ini masih belom jadi pribadi yang tulus dan menyenangkan. 

Lord, I surrender all to You. 

MARRIAGE: A REVOLUTION AND REVELATION PART 2 (ELISABETH ELLIOT)

CHAPTER 7: THE NATURE OF LOVE

1. Solomon, a man who knew a great deal about a great many things, wrote, "Love is as strong as death, its jealousy unyielding as the grave. It burns like blazing fire, like a mighty flame. Many waters cannot quench love; rivers cannot wash it away. If one were to give all the wealth of his house for love, it would be utterly scorned." How many of us ever pause to wonder about the nature of that unfathomable love? God so loved that He gave.

"To love is to relinquish the freedom of the untouched heart, to become chained to the beloved not by necessity but precisely by love. Love is fate--loving man, God has allowed man's fate to touch His heart" (Romano Guardini).

2. As I look back on my happy childhood I realize that the word love was not often spoken, yet daily the nature of love was demonstrated between our parents. These homely rituals shaped our lives. As small children we often sat on mother's lap in the afternoon as she rocked us and sang hymns such as "Trust and Obey" or "Count Your Blessings." If we wanted "Go Tell Aunt Nancy the Old Gray Goose is Dead," or "Matilda Told Such Awful Lies!" she sang them for us too. We did not realize that we were wrapped in love.

I Corinthians 6:18-20--"Flee from sexual immorality. All other sins a man commits are outside his body, but he who sins sexually sins against his own body. Do you not know that your body is a temple of the Holy Spirit, who is in you, whom you have received from God? You are not your own; you were bought at a price. therefore honor God with your body." 

3. Note that age twelve is the watershed for a Jewish boy. He is required then to take responsibility. It is worth pondering how the boy Jesus, age twelve, was found sitting in the temple, confounding the experts in the law. "Ah," we may say, "but He was Jesus." Is it for nothing that the Jewish Bar Mitzva requires boys of twelve to accept responsibility? It is the transition from boyhood to manhood, from the halcyon days of irresponsibility to sober acceptance of adulthood. How simple life can be when routines are established.

CHAPTER 8: HE DOESN'T SHARE

1. Not many men, it seems, are eager to "share intimately." Lots of women love to "Women talk about everything," I heard a Christian psychiatrist say, "While men don't talk about much of anything. They just tell stories." Women talk about feelings, about abstract things, "deep" things, spiritual things. Men often shy away from such discussions, suddenly remember they have to see a guy about something, make a phone call, or fall asleep.

2. Can anything be done about this disparity? My answer is not that of a psychiatrist or professional counsellor, but that of an ordinary woman whose husband doesn't talk about all the things I'd like to talk about either. I offer what has helped me when any hard question arises: look first at the perspectives of Scripture and of human history (which are often one and the same). The apostle Paul said, "Many others have faced exactly the same problems before you. And no temptation is irresistible. You trust God to keep the temptation from becoming so strong that you can't stand up against it, for He has promised this and will do what He says. He will show you how to escape temptation's power so that you can bear up patiently against it" (I Cor. 10:13,14, Living Bible).

3. For a wife to decide she doesn't love her husband is a desperate measure. Does it really have to be that bad? The situation is new to her, but it's not new to humanity, and certainly it's not new to God. His promise is there in the Book--a promise for help and strength. "I will never leave you or forsake you." But we have to come to Him and ask, in humility, acknowledging our helplessness and our utter dependence on Him.

God does not by any means always solve the problem or remove it or even make it easy. But He has faithfully promised His help and His never-failing presence. 

4. The Lord knows the frame of each of us, our hopes and disappointments, and He has promised that our suffering will one day turn into glory if we'll respond to it in faith and obedience. First, we can rest assured that the situation in which we find ourselves (and nowhere else) is the very place where God wants to meet us. It is here that we will grow into the likeness of Christ. So this means that the suffering itself is not meaningless, it is not "for nothing". It is an element in God's loving purpose.

"Accustom yourself to unreasonableness and injustice! God sees these things far better than you do, and permits them!" (St. Francis de Sales).

5. LOVE, according to scripture, is to will another's good. Love is not merely liking the pleasure others give us. It is not treating them as a means to our satisfaction--this would be to put ourselves in the place of God. Love is obedience to Him who is love. It is not a mood or a preference or an emotion. It is not "feeling good about" somebody. It is a command. Therefore it requires our will, and our conscious action. Obedience is always possible. We must will to do God's will, and then He promises to help us. 

6. All of us are in some ways crippled or deformed. We are not whole men or women. So every spouse discovers the limitations of wife or husband and must learn to love in spite of those. It is a commitment that should be made daily, in one way or another. Your unhappiness, I believe springs not from your husband's failures and limitations, but from your failure to accept him. He is God's gift to you. All God's gifts are meant to be received with both hands (YES, LORD!) and with thanksgiving (THANK YOU, LORD!). 

You had certain expectations of what a husband ought to be and do for his wife, some of them realistic, some unrealistic. So has every wife. No husband ever succeeds in fully meeting them. 

Make a list of the useful things your husband does do. Think of how much better off you are than the singles who think marriage would solve all their problems. You could tell them a thing or two: marriage introduces a few problems singles never have. But the fact remains: you have a husband. You have three grown children. That means you have four of the greatest gifts God gives to humankind.

7. To live means to love. To love means to give yourself for others. To give yourself means to lay yourself open to suffering. To suffer--if you do so in the close company of Christ--means ultimately to reign with Him. You have the perfect chance to do all of the above, without too much temptation to do it only for what you'll get out of it here and now.

8. Give God thanks for this man. God perfectly understands his past, his inability (or unwillingness) to share intimately, and his refusal to accept responsibility. That's  between him and God. God isn't going to hold you responsible for what he didn't do. You are not, in other words, his moral custodian. That isn't your job. That's God's. Your job is to love your man. Keep on doing everything you'd do if you were madly in love with him. Work at it. Do it cheerfully, as unto the Lord. Maybe the Lord will change both of you through this. Maybe He won't. But when you see His face I think He will say, "Well done, good and faithful servant. Enter into the joy of your Lord!" It will be worth it then. (I'm pretty sure you'll find out, long before then, that it's worth it now--if you do it with thanksgiving and gladness, as unto the Lord.) 

9. Whatever the case, you need not, you must not face the years to come. "Do not worry about tomorrow," Jesus said, "for tomorrow will worry about itself. Each day has enough trouble of its own" (Matthew 6:34). All you have to do is to take His yoke for a single day. When you rise tomorrow morning, kneel down in a quiet place and thank Him for a new day, a new beginning (with the same old husband!). Ask for His help as you place yourself and he with your works, joys, and sufferings into the Lord's hands. Learn of Him who is gentle and humble in heart (Matthew 11:28,29) and find--surely you will find--that His burden is light. He who bore His own cross alone bears always the heavier end of the cross He lays on us. 

CHAPTER 9: ANGRY AT GOD?

1. Have you ever found yourself angry at God? The honeymoon seems to have been only a dream. Things have changed. What did you receive when you said "I do"? Might you say that it was perhaps eighty percent of what you had hoped for? A certain amount of time has elapsed. The Bible says "Do not make friends with a hot-tempered man, do not associate with one easily angered, or you may learn his ways and get yourself ensnared" (Proverbs 22:2 4,25). But you had had no clue that the marvelous man who had wooed you could be very angry indeed.

Remember that you marry a sinner--there isn't anything else to marry! Men are fallible and sinful, and so are we women. It takes a great deal of the grace of God for any  of us to manage to live together, year in and year out, in harmony, peace, and love.

2. It is our job as a wife to encourage, build up, and help our husband in every way possible. Perhaps you have concluded that he has not really grown up. He may have decided that you need to grow up! I know of no more effective way of helping than by honest, earnest and solitary prayer. That is where you must begin--and continue.

Have you entreated the Lord to teach you how to bless this man, how to grow in grace and to make you daily a better lover? The Lord will enable you to keep a quiet heart as you learn to love the man to whom you said "I will."

3. One way of helping him is to refrain from taking on things which are really his manly prerogative. We women are sometimes prone to act as mother to our husbands. It is not uncommon for a man to continue to cling to his own mother, forgetting the solemn vow, "Wilt thou have this woman to thy wedded wife, to live together after God's ordinance in the holy estate of matrimony? Wilt thou love her, comfort her, honor and keep her in sickness and in health; and, forsaking all others, keep thee only unto her, so long as ye both shall live?" The man then answers with two very loaded words: I will. Explain to this man of yours (if he willing to listen) that it is your sincere desire to be the wife he wants you to be. Quietly submit to him as head of the house. If he is bored by such conversations and finds TV much more interesting, try to arrange such discussions (if it's necessary to have them at all!) at a more opportune time. There are many times when what we need to do is simply to keep a quiet heart.

4. No husband is perfect, none quite live up to our dreams (nor do we women). Start thanking God for the man He gave you. "He that receives you receives Me," Jesus said. God's gift in this wife or this husband was chosen by "His magnificently varied grace". He is the Father of Lights. Every good gift is from above. Marriage is one of His greatest earthly gifts--for solace, comfort, companionship, help. "But what if my wife/husband doesn't do that for me? Isn't meeting my needs?" These suggestions often come from that old serpent the devil. Forget about my needs. Remember the words of the Lord Jesus, "He who receives you receives the One who sent Me" (Matt. 10:40).

"The Lord God will help me. Therefore shall I not be confounded. Therefore have I set my face like a flint, and I know that I shall not be ashamed" (Isaiah 50:7).

5. Whenever we are tormented with a wrong emotion, whether it be anger, self-pity (which is satanic), jealousy, any emotion which hinders our trust in the Lord, it is well to kneel, lift up our hands and say, "Lord, here is this anger. In the name of Jesus Christ, I surrender it to Your authority. By Your grace I will not take it back." It is amazing how a simple little act can calm our hearts when we ask in sincerity. God hears prayers like that and loves to answer them. God is my heavenly Father. He loves me with an everlasting love. The proof of that is the Cross. I John 3:16 says, "This is how we know what love is: Jesus Christ laid down His life for us." As the old hymn (When I Survey the Wondrous Cross) says, "Love so amazing, so divine, demands my soul, my life, my all." Having sung that beautiful hymn is it possible then to be angry with God?

Our Father wants nothing but the best for any of us, and only He knows what that is, for He is the all-wise, the Omniscient. Even an earthly father wants the best for his child, but does not always know what that is.

6. God knows not only what we need but when we need it. When He withholds from us the one thing we feel sure would make us happy, let's remember His promise that He will meet all our needs, "according to His glorious riches in Christ Jesus" (Phil. 4:19). In other words, if we don't have it, we don't need it--now. Perhaps He will give it next week, but that does not indicate indifference, forgetfulness, or poor timing. His timing is always perfect.

7. Resentment makes us vulnerable to Satan who is called the Destroyer. Think what a dangerous position we put ourselves in if we are angry with God. Is there anywhere else for us to turn? In heaven or on earth there is no other safe refuge. "God is our refuge and strength, an ever-present help in trouble. Therefore we will not fear" (Psalm 46:1,2). He is the Ruler of all. He's got the whole world in His hands. Shall we deliberately reject such a Refuge? 

8. We have only this present moment. God does not often give us previews of coming attractions. But I can look over many decades, remembering how worried I sometimes was, how bewildered because of things God had permitted to happen, but now I see them all as a golden chain of mercies, gifts from a merciful Father who, like the father Jesus described, would never give his son a snake if he asked for a fish. What looks to us like a good thing might actually ruin us. How thankful I am for God's withholdings and for His unfailing faithfulness. Now, as I look forward to what may be left of my future, I think of Whittier's lines: 

"I know not where His islands lift their fronded palms in air, I only know I cannot drift beyond His love and care".

9. I do not want to miss "islands" whose beauty I never dreamed of in those anxious times. I want to be able honestly to say, "Father, I trust You. Forgive me for being so foolish as to imagine that You have made a mistake. Help me to receive grace to keep a quiet heart, sure that I am, in this very moment, held in the Everlasting Arms."

CHAPTER 10: SEE CHRIST IN YOUR HUSBAND

Jesus said, "Whatever you did for one of the least of these brothers of mine, you did for Me." He also said, "Whatever you did not do for one of the least of these, you did not do for Me" (Matt. 40:45).

1. Here is perhaps one of the most difficult but also most transforming truths for a  wife to grasp. She lives with a fallible human being three hundred and sixty-five days a year (and so does he!). Her husband does not always act like Christ (nor does she). Yet the Bible gives clear instructions to both (Ephesians 5:24,28), and these instructions seem impossible. The husband is to love his wife as he loves himself, and the wife is to respect (reverence) her husband. Let's remember that what is impossible with men is possible with God, and He has never issued a command which He will not enable us to fulfill. The question is, will we choose to obey?

2. Once having made up our minds to be disciples, we may then study the specific teaching on marriage:

• What are the respective "roles" of husband and wife? Look first at Ephesians 5:22-33. The husband represents Christ as He is head of the church. The wife represents the church, the bride of Christ. This means that she is assigned a subordinate position (one which the world despises). "As the church submits to Christ, so also wives should submit to their husbands in everything" (vs. 24). Subordination is not inferiority. It is divine, drawn from the very nature of God. The Holy Spirit wirnesses to Christ, Christ witnesses to the Father (and in obedience to His Father, He was willing to made "a little lower than the angels"--that is, a mere man!). P.T. Forsyth wrote, "Without the spirit of subordination there is no true piety, no manly nobility and no womanly charm".

• But what shall we wives do if the husband is disobedient to the Word? Peter answers the question (I Peter 3:1,2), "Wives, in the same way (referring to Jesus' response to insults, suffering, and injustice in the previous chapter) be submissive to your husbands, so that, if any of them do not believe the word, they may be won over without words, by the behavior of their wives when they see the purity and reverence of your lives".

3. One of my friends has cheered me greatly by her own testimony. She wanted, above all, to know Christ, "and the power of His resurrection and fellowship of His sufferings" (Phil. 3:10,11). She offers this suggestion: When your husband comes home, say to yourself, "Christ returns!Practice readiness!" When he is hungry or thirsty, give to him as if he were Christ, remembering that it is Christ whom he represents. What a privilege we have to minister to Him, just as the women of the New Testament did! If he is disobedient to the Word in any way, don't get headaches trying to be quiet. Put an imaginary blanket over his face--to "cover a multitude of sins" and not bring them to mind. Try to see Christ in this man you live with, even though he may be acting in a less-than-Christlike way.

4. We give ourselves many excuses for failure to comply with our husband's wishes. Often it is merely that we prefer something else and are unwilling to surrender our preferences. A more serious objection is fear that our husbands' decisions will be unwise and perhaps even disastrous. This is our opportunity to go to our knees, ask for direction, trust God in the man He has given you. My friend says, "If the disobedience is an unkind or harsh attitude, instead of pulling away, nursing wounds, say to the Lord, 'You, Father, have put this upon me, it's from Your dear hand, Your appointed trial for me right now, and I accept it with joy.'" She quotes Amy Carmichael's motto, in acceptance lieth peace.

If we get down on our knees and offer up our sufferings to Christ, He knows just what to do with them, "for we do not have a high priest who is unable to sympathize with our weaknesses, but we have one who has been tempted in every way, just as we are, yet was without sin" (Heb. 4:15).

"As God's chosen people, holy and dearly loved, cloth yourselves with compassion, kindness, humility, gentleness and patience. Bear with each other and forgive whatever grievances you may have against one another. Forgive as the Lord forgave you. And over all these virtues put on love, which binds them all together in perfect unity" (Colossians 3:12-14).

"Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It is not rude, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres. Love never fails (never gives up)" (I Corinthians 13:4-8).

5. Spend more time thanking God for your husband than you do in criticizing him. Pray for him earnestly and daily, asking the Lord to help you to practice the self-giving, sacrificial love He showed us on the Cross--accepting the terrible injustice as the Father's will. Treat him exactly as you would wish to treat Christ if He came into your home. Can we do this? No, not by ourselves. But we are not alone. God speaks peace to our souls: "Do not fear, for I am with you," He says, "Do not be dismayed, for I am your God. I will strengthen you and help you; I will uphold you with my righteous right hand . . Do not be afraid, O worm Jacob, O little [Elisabeth?] for I myself will help you" (Isaiah 41:10,14). TRUST AND OBEY!

CHAPTER 11: IF ONLY

1. Most of those who read a book like this one are, I suppose, Bible readers. It is not difficult, however, to know the Lord's Prayer and perhaps many familiar passages by heart without giving a great deal of thought to the treasures of scripture. Christ lives in us and with us, in the same room, and yet we do not know Him. The apostles lived intimately with the Lord Jesus, walked and talked and ate with Him, yet failed truly to know Him. To Philip He said, "Have I been so long time with you and yet you have not known Me?"

2. Andrew Murray, missionary in Africa many years ago, drew up some rules for himself (and perhaps for those with whom he worked). I believe these rules will be helpful to all who seek to follow the Lord: 

• He brought me here, it is by His will I am in this strait place: in that fact I will rest

• He will keep me here in His love and give me grace to behave as His child

• He will make the trial a blessing, teaching me the lessons He intends for me to learn, and working in me the grace He means to bestow

• In His good time He can bring me out again--how and when He knows. 

"Let me say I am here: 

a) by God's appointment 

b) in His keeping 

c) under His training

d) for His time

Many "if only's" come to me in the mail--"If only I weren't married to him," or "If only I had married so-and-so instead of ..." or "if only I were single again!"

3. “I’ve learned to handle my marriage and my husband by praying instead of filing complaints that fall on defensive (if not deaf) ears. The Lord is more than able and willing to meet the needs I wrongly thought my husband should fill, and while I was never a nagger, I have learned how effective it is to pray and tell the Lord my 'husband troubles,' and let Him intercede  for me."

4. Such letters--and they are many--remind us that we are sinners. Let us not forget that God wants to help us. He knows all about it. Nothing takes Him by surprise.  "O Lord, you have searched me and you know me. You know when I sit and when I rise; you perceive my thoughts from afar. You discern my going out and my lying down; you are familiar with all my ways. Before a word is on my tongue you know it completely, O Lord" (Psalm 139:1-4).

5. Ponder the following statements: 

• You marry a sinner. So does everybody else--there isn't anything else to marry! All men are fallible and sinful, and so are all of us women! Therefore, not surprisingly, it takes a great deal of the grace of God for any of us to manage to live together in harmony, peace, and love. 

• It is your job as a wife to encourage, build up, and help your husband in every way that you possibly can. I know of no more effective way of helping than by prayer. That is where you must begin--and continue. 

• Perhaps you are correct that your husband has not really grown up. The more mature and womanly you are spiritually, the more you can help him to grow and become a true man of God. That is what God wants him to be, so when you pray for that, you are praying within the will of God. One way of helping his growth in grace is to refrain from taking over things which are clearly his responsibility. As his wife you may at times venture a suggestion which your husband will be glad to accept, but we must be careful not to dictate what he should do. Most of us are tempted to act, at times, like a mother hen to her chicks. Sometimes it may be helpful, at other times counterproductive.. 

• Let your husband know that it is your sincere desire to be the very best wife that you can be. Tell him (if he is in a mood to hear!) you want to be the kind of wife he wants you to be-- willing to submit to him. Acknowledge straightforwardly to him your own failings. Our submission is not meant to be grudging but glad--as the Church submits to Christ, her head. None of us can do this alone--we need God's help every day.

ELISABETH ELLIOT

MARRIAGE: A REVOLUTION AND REVELATION

MARRIAGE: A REVOLUTION AND REVELATION PART 1 (ELISABETH ELLIOT)

INTRODUCTION

1. Think of discipleship. A realistic view of marriage is not a sociological, historical, psychological, or sexual study but a theological mystery, which takes into account and is shaped by an understanding of its profound spiritual character as ordained by Christ--a total relinquishment of the self to another person. There are striking similarities between marriage and discipleship. Both involve a revolution and a revelation.

2. Jesus’ invitation was meant, I believe, not only for the twelve but also for those throughout the world who love Him enough to do what He says. Discipleship to this day requires the acceptance of three conditions: “If anyone would (wants to, will, wishes to) come after Me, he must deny himself and take up his cross and follow Me” (Matt.16:24). I heard Him call, Come follow.

3. My gold grew dim, my soul went after Him. Who would not follow if they heard Him call?” Gladly the disciples left their nets and followed Him. They could not know what this would ultimately cost. They had much to learn of the glory of sacrifice. So have we who enter into marriage.

CHAPTER 1: LOVE GIVES UP ITSELF

Jesus Christ demonstrated the true meaning of love when He "gave Himself for us to redeem us from all wickedness and to purify for Himself a people that are His very own, eager to do what is good" (Titus 2:14).

1. What a difference it would make if every bride and groom clearly understood from day one that marriage begins with a glad relinquishment of the self! The way to self-fulfillment, therefore, is self-giving love. One puts himself unreservedly at the service of another, for that other's sake. This is the bond that unites them (I John 2:5-7). "If anyone obeys His word, God's love is truly made complete in him. This is how we know we are in Him: whoever claims to live in Him must walk as Jesus did." This voluntary self-offering is divorce from privacy, a strange awareness of the "otherness" of the other.

"You married her because you love her. But from tomorrow on you must love her because you married her." 

2. A man who has chosen to marry would do well to contemplate the fact that he marries a sinner. A woman, of course, does the same. There is nobody else to marry! How much is known about the respective spouse--this particular sinner, this man or woman, this husband or wife, this person about which one really knows very little indeed? 

Love always means sacrifice--a transfiguring self-discipline.

3. Marriage is perhaps the first opportunity really to know ourselves, our weaknesses and our capacities. We are not ready for such revelations. A very dear and uncommonly wise single friend, whose lover had suddenly changed his mind about marrying her, pointed out to me that a lifelong relationship should begin by hiding in God, strengthening our relationship with Him, knowing that He unconditionally loves us. "It is my desire to learn more of Him," she said, "to be less of a hindrance to let His living water flow. Your relationship can only grow if you unconditionally accept each other as you are, each with your gifts and your weaknesses. It's as simple as that, and therefore as difficult, even as impossible--but remember that Christ has accepted us!

4. Day by day, in the business of loving and living with another who is a part of ourselves and yet opposite, we discover much that has heretofore been hidden from our own eyes. It is a fire, a purging fire, and we must recognize and accept its action.

CHAPTER 2: THE GLORY OF SACRIFICE

1. Hear what the New Testament says: "For God so loved the world that He gave His one and only Son, that whoever believes in Him shall not perish but have eternal life. For God did not send His Son into the world to condemn the world but to save the world through Him." These words from John 3:16, 17 are familiar to most of us, but perhaps we have overlooked their corollary, found in I John 3:16, “This is how we know what love is: Jesus Christ laid down His life for us. And we ought to lay down our lives for our brothers."

That is the clear meaning of sacrifice--deny, give up, relinquish, surrender.

2. True strength of will was demonstrated in the Garden of Gethsemane when the Lord Jesus, having asked His Father if it were possible that the cup of suffering should pass by, He then surrendered with these words, "Yet not as I will, but as You will." (Matt. 26:39). None of us would dare to imagine what it cost the Savior to accept that cup. None will ever be so tempted and tried. It is, however, in infinitely smaller and very likely daily tests which will reveal an earnestness to "Be of one mind, live in peace. And the God of love and peace will be with you" (2 Cor. 13:11).

3. Dr. Henry Krabbendam, in his paper: The Biblical Pattern of Preparation for Marriage writes, "In Genesis God shows that there is an irrepressible tendency in the husband to be irresponsible. It is practically the first thing that Adam displays after his rebellion against God. When asked whether he had eaten of the tree, he points the finger to his wife. . . God also shows that there is an irrepressible tendency in the wife to be dominating. God tells Eve, 'Your desire shall be to your husband, and he shall rule over you.' The combination of Genesis 3:16, where this phrase occurs, and Genesis 4:7, removes beyond any doubt that God warns Eve that she has this tendency and Adam that he may not let it go unchecked."  "Oh, how many times we can most of us remember when we would gladly have made any compromise with our consciences, would gladly have made the most costly sacrifices to God, if He would only have excused us from this duty of loving, of which our nature seemed utterly incapable.

4. Are we followers? Then we ought to lay down our lives for each other. Ponder  those unequivocal words. Who has prepared us for this sort of thing? Who even broached the subject of "sacrifice"? The truth is that it is impossible to love deeply without sacrifice. Who of us mere mortals can fathom, let alone practice day by day, sacrificial love? Yet that is precisely what we are called to do. "He died for us so that, whether we are awake or asleep, we may live together with Him" (I Thes. 5:10). 

CHAPTER 3: SALTED WITH FIRE 

"Dear friends," wrote the apostle Peter (who was deeply acquainted with sorrows), "Do not be surprised at the painful trial you are suffering, as though something strange were happening to you. But rejoice that you participate in the sufferings of Christ" (I Peter 4:12,13).

1. There is an intriguing verse in Mark 9:49, "Everyone will be salted with fire." J.B. Phillips' translation is "Salt is a very good thing; but if it should lose its saltiness, what can you do to restore its flavor? You must have salt in yourselves, and live at peace with one another." The Jerusalem Bible puts it this way: "If salt has become insipid, how can you season it again?" Salt can be very fiery if it encounters a wound, but at the same time it may be wonderfully remedial. Perhaps this has something to do with learning the deep lessons of participation in the sufferings of Christ--which takes a lifetime--but what a promise is appended by Peter's words, "so that you may be overjoyed when His glory is revealed"! 

2. Did you solemnly promise before God and witnesses that you would "live together after God's ordinance in the holy estate of matrimony?" Did you promise soberly and solemnly "to love, comfort, honor, and keep (him or) her in sickness and in health; and forsaking all others, keep only to (her or him), so long as ye both shall live?"

CHAPTER 4: LOVE IS VERY PATIENT

1. A honeymooning couple may be so dazzled with love that they fail to notice peculiarities which will soon surprise them. The return from the honeymoon begins the knotty matters of the four b's'-- bedroom, bathroom, breakfast and budget. They may be in for a painful jolt when they find that patience must do its perfect work.

2. Are you wishing you had a different set of peculiarities to live with? You begin to take stock of things. What blessings did you receive--perhaps eighty-percent of what you had hoped for? Trust God then for the rest. Let patience have her perfect work. A bridegroom chooses to marry a woman because he loves her. Now he must choose to love her because he married her. He ought to cherish this responsibility and  thank God daily for His gift.

"O God who art Love, grant to Thy children to bear one another's burdens in perfect good will, that thy peace which passeth understanding may keep our hearts and  minds in Christ Jesus our Lord." (The Book of Hours, 1865).

“If I speak in the tongues of men and of angels, but have not love, I am only a resounding gong or a clanging cymbal. If I have the gift of prophecy and can fathom all mysteries and all knowledge, and if I have a faith that can move mountains, but have not love, I am nothing. If I give all I possess to the poor and surrender my body to the flames, but have not love, I gain nothing. 

“Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It is not rude, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres. Love never fails.” 

3. The patience of love! God moves in mysterious ways--ways so foreign to the world’s methods of getting what we suppose is good for us. If only we would hear His words, “No good thing does He withhold from those whose walk is blameless” (Ps. 84:11). 

“Love is not rude” (I Corinthians 15:5).

CHAPTER 5: A LIFELONG YES

1. Amor amicitiae is Latin for authentic love, that is, wishing well to the beloved for the beloved’s sake. Its opposite, amor concupiscientiae, is desirous love, the wish to possess and control another for one's own benefit. It takes most of us many years to relinquish our personal wants and to develop the intention of unity and concern for the good of the other. Without that development any marriage is on exceedingly shaky ground.

2. The apostle Paul (unmarried so far as we know) understood human failings. He writes in Romans 15: 1-3, 5,6 "We who are strong ought to bear with the failings of the weak, and not to please ourselves. Each of us should please his neighbor for his good, to build him up, for even Christ did not please himself, but as it is written, 'The insults of those who insult you have fallen on me.' . . May the God who gives endurance and encouragement give you a spirit of unity among yourselves as you follow Christ Jesus, so that with one heart and mouth you may glorify the God and Father of our Lord Jesus." This is a daily task, especially when "my neighbor" is now my spouse. There is work to be done, sacrifices to be made, and a high price to pay. It is a good thing to understand that the happily married are not merely "lucky." One couple , recognizing how easy it is in a marriage to destroy that spirit of unity, decided to pray together each morning for their church, their family, and others.

"I am assured that graces will come and a holiness of life will be mine through this submission and obedience towards my husband. This is not an easy calling for me. It is a challenge, but it is one I am learning truly to love. We are always better off in choosing God's mysterious ways than our own, no matter how logical our arguments may appear to be." 

Jesus warns us not to seek the approval of men. "Seekest thou great things for thyself? Seek them not." To have peace one must forget himself. To forget himself one must walk in truth. To walk in truth one must love God and his neighbor.

3. Oswald Chambers in MY UTMOST FOR HIS HIGHEST said, "If we have ever had a glimpse of what we are like in the sight of God, we shall never say, 'Oh, I am so unworthy!' because we shall know we are, beyond the possibility of stating it. As long as we are not quite sure that we are unworthy, God will keep narrowing us in until He gets us alone. Wherever there is any element of pride or of conceit, Jesus cannot expound a thing." But what if the "chemistry" just doesn't happen to be there? What if the problems don't go away? An unselfish spirit will enable a man or a woman to allow the Lord to touch him or her in the deepest parts, always remembering that we live in a fallen world,  a world saturated with sin, yet a world that is redeemable because of the precious blood of Jesus. His cleansing power is always available. Warmed by His love and grace we may be enabled to become vulnerable in a way not dreamed of as long as we are focusing merely on ourselves.

How then can we defend the notion that we "owe it to ourselves" to rise in the world, to seek self-satisfaction, or distinction? Back to the Bible again! God's word is "Should you then seek great things for yourself? Seek them not" (Jeremiah 45:5). 

4. Marriage is an opportunity to accept Jesus' call to discipleship: "Whoever wants to save his life will lose it, but whoever loses his life for me will find it" (Matt. 16:25). The denial of self is the most difficult task assigned us. If, by His grace, we succeed in that, we may then be ready to take up the cross and follow.

CHAPTER 6: TEN PRACTICAL ADVICES FOR A PERFECT CHRISTIAN FAMILY LIFE

1. Whenever you give your wife advice, always begin by telling her how much you love her. Nothing will persuade her so well to admit the wisdom of your words as her assurance that you are speaking to her with sincere affection. 

2. Show her that you value her company and prefer being at home to being out. 

3. Esteem her in the presence of your friends and children. 

4. If she ever does anything foolish advise her patiently. 

5. Prefer her before all others both for her beauty and her discernment--praise her. She will in this way be persuaded to listen to none that are outside but to disregard all the world except for you. 

6. If you are overtaken by poverty, remember Peter and Paul, who were more honored than kings or rich men, though they spent their lives in hunger and thirst. 

7. Remind one another that nothing in life is to be feared except offending God. 

8. Remove from her soul this notion of 'mine' and 'yours.' If she says the word 'mine,' ask her 'What things do you call yours? I honestly don't know what you mean, for my part, I have nothing of my own. How can you speak of 'mine' when everything is yours?' 

9. Never call her by her name alone, but with terms of endearment, honor and love. If you honor her, she won't need honor from others. She won't desire praise from others if she enjoys the praise that comes from you. 

10. Pray together at home, and when you come back, let each ask the other the meaning of the readings and the prayers. Teach her to fear God and all other good things will flow from this one lesson as from a fountain and your house will be filled with ten thousand blessings. If we seek the things that are perfect, the secondary things will flow. The Lord says, "Seek first the kingdom of God and His righteousness and all these things shall be added to you" (Matt. 6:33). 

If your marriage is like this, your perfection will rival the holiest of Monks. 

[From the book on Marriage and Family Life, by Saint John Chrysostom, Greek church father, 345-407]

MEMILIH UNTUK TETAP JADI BAIK

Beberapa bulan ini, aku makin ga nyaman dengan kondisi di kantor. Setelah makin tau bahwa orang2 di kantor itu hidupnya berantakan (ada yang hamil di luar nikah, suka ngutang kanan kiri tapi ga dibayar, selingkuh kanan kiri), sebenernya keinginanku untuk hengkang makin kuat. Aku ngerasa jijik banged berada di tengah lingkungan yang kayak gitu, aku ga mau ada transfer roh juga. 

Singkatnya aku mulai nggetu berdoa nyari kehendak Tuhan, aku kudu gimana en mulai lirik2 lowongan kerjaan. Tapi dari berbagai renungan, kotbah, en buku yang kubaca, aku dapet impresi kalo Tuhan masih mau aku di kantor ini. Bagiku ga gampang, apalagi setelah aku dikasi tau kalo aku diincer 2 pria hidung belang. Aku makin menjaga jarak, bersikap sangat tegas en menghindari interkasi dengan mereka sebisa mungkin.

Aku sempet ada di titik mengasihani diri, kok bisa2nya aku "dibuang" ke kantor yang kayak gini, padahal aku bermimpi kerja di perusahaan yang lebih besar daripada sebelumnya. Aku mikir gimana nasibku selanjutnya kalo aku stuck di kantor ini, belom ktemu jodoh pula. Hahahaha. Akhirnya aku menyadari kalo semua pemikiranku itu sia2. Tuhan tau yang terbaik, kalopun aku "dibuang" ke lembah, Dia pasti mempersiapkan momen2 krusial bagi hidupku ke depannya. Bagianku hanyalah taat, sekalipun ga mengerti dan ga terima 😥

Dengan pola pikir yang baru setelah ngalami jamahan Tuhan, aku memutuskan untuk memilih tetap bersikap baik ke mereka2. Sekalipun aku jijik sama kelakuan mereka, aku tau kalo Tuhan mengasihi jiwa mereka. "Bencilah dosanya, bukan orangnya" adalah kata2 sering tergiang2 di kepalaku selama masa2 ini. Tiap kali aku papasan sama mereka, aku belajar memandang mereka dengan hati Bapa, bukan dengan penghakiman. Aku belajar berdoa untuk pertobatan dan keselamatan jiwa mereka. Sapa tau Tuhan memang naruh aku disini untuk tujuan itu kan. 

Bagiku ga mudah, tiap hari harus menguatkan diri dalam kasih karunia Tuhan. Ada orang2 yang rasanya pengen banget kukonfrontasi dengan frontal, bahkan kalo bisa kubikin dia dipecat dari kantor. Tapi aku tau kalo aku harus bertindak sesuai dengan hati-Nya, aku belajar menundukkan diri di bawah otoritas Tuhan, en mengerjakan apa yang jadi bagianku.

Disinilah aku semakin sadar arti namaku (Lucy--Light), yang perlu menerangi kegelapan hidup mereka dengan kebenaran Kristus, yang perlu menerangi kedegilan hati mereka supaya mereka bertobat, yang perlu menunjukkan jalan yang benar bagi jiwa yang tersesat. Lord, genapi kehendak-Mu dalam hidupku. Aku mau taat, aku mau setia sampai akhir karena aku mengasihi-Mu. 

HEALING TIME

"In life, it's not where you go, it's who you travel with..."

Wiken kemaren aku pergi bertiga sama cece2 komsel ke Bukit Doa Immanuel (BDI). Karena ini pertama kalinya buat mereka, jadi aku yang memandu mereka sepanjang perjalanan keliling. So muccchhh fun karena ada yang happy banget maen ayunan, ada yang ngos2an naik turun bukit, en kita doa bertiga on the spot (biasanya cuma via zoom ato telpon).

Sebenernya aku pengen doa pribadi khusus buat mama, supaya jadwal operasinya segera keluar. FYI, mamaku butuh operasi total hip replacement lagi untuk panggul kirinya en belom dapet jadwal dari yang semestinya Juli kemaren. Sementara mamaku makin kesakitan en susah jalan, bikin mobilitas en kemandiriannya mayan terganggu. Tapi kemaren ga sempet doa sendiri, karena kita doa ama penyembahan bareng, trus keliling sampai ke air terjun.

Awalnya aku ngerasa eman karena ga ada waktu untuk doa pribadi. Tapi aku menyadari ada berkat tersendiri en ada 1 sisi yang Tuhan singkapkan saat doa bareng. Aku diberkati banged ketika kami bertiga saling mendoakan, trus doa bagi beberapa orang di komsel. Udah lama aku ga ngalami doa korporat yang begitu powerful kayak gitu. Trus waktu saling mendoakan, Tuhan singkapkan bahwa aku ini punya spesialisasi di doa peperangan, sesuatu yang udah lama kutinggalkan sejak aku ga terlibat dalam pelayanan gereja. Aku ngalami jamahan Tuhan pas nyanyiin lagu ini waktu penyembahan. Betapa indahnya momen2 ini. 

Aku ngerasa bahwa ini masa2 Tuhan memang mau memulihkan hatiku, en Tuhan mau bawa aku kembali menghidupi panggilan-Nya. Sesuatu yang dulu sangat bikin aku enjoy, kenapa sekarang menjadi sesuatu yang jarang banget kulakukan. Aku pengen jadi seorang Lucy yang kembali dekat dengan hati Bapa, yang berdoa bukan untuk kebutuhanku tapi kerinduan hati-Nya, yang berdoa bukan karena terdesak tapi karena cinta. Aku pengen jadi rumah doa-Nya, yang bawa banyak orang mengalami terobosan, pertobatan, serta pemulihan. Use me oh Lord. 

Thank you ce Icha& cece Aixing buat quality time-nya 😚

 

ON THE ANVIL PART 2 (MAX LUCADO)

TWENTY SIX: THE DAY MY PLATE WAS BROKEN

1. “We’d love for you to come back, but we’ve already broken your plate.” (That was west Texas talk for “We love you, Max, but it’s time to grow up.”).

2. It takes a wise father to know when to push his son out of the nest. It’s painful, but it has to be done. I’ll always be thankful that my dad gave me wings and then made me use them.

What are some of the “nests” we get too comfortable in?

Have you ever had a positive plate-breaking experience like this one?

Do you need one now?

TWENTY SEVEN: PUTTING YOUR BELIEFS WHERE YOUR HEART IS

1. Take a pen and paper and get alone. Go where it’s quiet, where you can think. Find a place that will offer you an hour’s worth of uninterrupted thinking. Then sit down. Take your pen in your hand and—are you ready?—write down what you believe. Not what you think or hope or speculate but what you believe. Put on paper those bedrock convictions that are worth building a life on, that are worth giving a life for.

2. Now look at your list. Analyze it. What do you think? Is your foundation solid enough to stand on? If not, be patient. Give yourself some time to grow. Don’t throw that list away. Keep it. The next time you’re intimidated by Mr. Know-It-All or by Miss-Have-It-All, the next time your self-image limps out the door, pull out your list. Take a long look at it. Have any of your undeniables been threatened? Has your foundation been attacked? Usually not.

3. Here’s the point: If you know what you believe (I mean really know it), if you know what’s important and what’s trivial, then you won’t be tied down by all the little Lilliputians in the world. I really believe that.

TWENTY EIGHT: SOMEDAY

1. Thousands of years before Jesus was called the Lamb of God, God promised forgiveness. “Someday,” He promised Hosea. “Someday, I will remember their sins no more.” “Someday,” God confided to Jeremiah, “these people will be My people and I will be their God.” “And someday,” wrote David, “the mistakes of men will be tossed, not under a rug or behind the sofa, but far, far away. As far as the east is from the west.”

2. And do you know what? That someday came. On a garbage heap outside of Jerusalem. Someday the almighty God, who has every right to make me burn forever, will look past my apathy, my gluttony, my lying, and my lusting. He will point to the cross and invite me to come home . . . forgiven . . . forever.

How do you view your sins? As if they can be swept under the rug, or as permanent blots on your record?

Look at the promises of God shown in this chapter. What do you believe they say about you and your sins?

For those of us who already know forgiveness of sins now, through Jesus, what is the significance of “someday”?

TWENTY NINE: GOD, DON'T YOU CARE? 

"Teacher, don’t you care if we drown?" (Mark 4:38).

1. “God, don’t you care?” “Why me?” “Why my friend?” “Why my business?” It’s the timeless question. The question asked by literally every person that has stalked this globe. There has never been a soul who hasn’t wrestled with this aching question. Does my God care? Or is my pain God’s great goof?

2. As the winds howled and the sea raged, the impatient and frightened disciples screamed their fear at the sleeping Jesus. “Teacher, don’t you care that we are about to die?” He could have kept on sleeping. He could have told them to shut up. He could have impatiently jumped up and angrily dismissed the storm. He could have pointed out their immaturity. . . . But He didn’t.

3. With all the patience that only one who cares can have, He answered the question. He hushed the storm so the shivering disciples wouldn’t miss His response. Jesus answered once and for all the aching dilemma of man: Where is God when I hurt?

Listening and healing. That’s where He is. He cares.

Have you ever been in a life storm and thought God was asleep, or at least looking somewhere else? Are you in one now?

When God silences your storm, how do you respond?

THIRTY: THE BLUNTED AX

1. Until the Cross, Satan held a cruel ax over man’s head. All feared the ax of death. Its eerie glimmer humbled all who faced it. From the greatest to the smallest, all avoided the ax. Satan’s mysterious, abrupt blade severed man from the living and cast him into the unknown.

2. Until the Cross. It was at the Cross that the power of the ax was dissolved and its true weakness disclosed. With all of the strength that Satan could muster and all the cruelty he could display, he brought the ax down upon the neck of the Son of God. The savage blow rang throughout the forest of death and echoed across the universe.

3. But the Divine Figure was not to be trapped. His body rose from the block, His head still intact, His life surviving. Jesus had blunted the ax. Jesus had flouted the executioner’s threat. Turning to Satan, He posed the question that paved the path to immortality. “Where, O death, is your victory? Where, O death, is your sting?”

What is this “ax of death”? What does it mean for us today?

Does death still have a sting for us—for you? How?

How does the Cross dissolve the power of death?

THIRTY ONE: VALENTINE'S DAY, 1965

1. I told our preacher I wanted to be baptized into Jesus. With an innocent faith that children so easily have, I asked God to take over. Did I understand all the implications of my conversion? No. All I knew was that Jesus’ love awaited those who would respond to it, so I did. Ever since that day the Creator of the world—the almighty God—has watched over me like a daddy over a baby, loving me as I have never deserved and sticking with me when others left. It was the most beautiful day of my life. What a wonderful Valentine’s Day!

What is your “Valentine’s” story with God? Is it a story that you cherish?

How have you asked God to take over your life? Take some time to reflect on your decision and how your life has changed since then.

THIRTY TWO: OPEN MANHOLES AND SUDDEN SIN

1. Very few sins are premeditated and planned. Very few of us would qualify for Satan’s strategy team. We spend our time avoiding sin, not planning it. But don’t think for one minute that, just because you don’t want to fall, you won’t. Satan has a special trick for you, and he only pulls it out when you aren’t looking.

2. Bull’s-eye! You lose your temper. You lust. You fall. You take a drag. You buy a drink. You kiss the woman. You follow the crowd. You rationalize. You say yes. You sign your name. You forget who you are. You walk into her room. You look in the window. You break your promise. You buy the magazine. You lie. You covet. You stomp your feet and demand your way. You deny your Master.

3. Want to sharpen your defenses a bit? Do you need help in reinforcing your weaponry? Have you tumbled down the manhole one too many times? Then consider these ideas:

• First, recognize satan. Our war is not with flesh and blood but with satan himself. Do like Jesus did when satan met Him in the wilderness. Call him by name. Rip off his mask. Denounce his disguise.

• Second, accept God’s forgiveness. Romans chapter 7 is the Emancipation Proclamation for those of us who have a tendency to tumble. Look at verse 15: “I do not understand what I do. For what I want to do I do not do, but what I hate I do.” Sound familiar? Read on. Verses 18 and 19: “For I have the desire to do what is good, but I cannot carry it out. For what I do is not the good I want to do; no, the evil I do not want to do—this I keep on doing.”

4. Thank God and drink deeply as you read verse 25 and verse 1 of chapter 8: “Thanks be to God—through Jesus Christ our Lord! . . . Therefore, there is now no condemnation for those who are in Christ Jesus.” Amen. There it is. You read it right. Underline it if you wish. For those in Christ there is no condemnation. Absolutely none. Claim the promise. Memorize the words. Accept the cleansing. Throw out the guilt. Praise the Lord. And . . . watch out for open manholes.

Think about the idea of Satan’s “special tricks.” Which ones tend to work on you?

What steps do you need to take to keep yourself from the manholes of those “sudden sins”?

What hope is there for us who are so susceptible to sin?

THIRTY THREE: WHO'S IN CHARGE HERE? 

1. Ever have trouble determining God’s will for your future? You’re not alone. “Do I move to Mobile, or Minnesota?” “Do I retire, or keep working?” “An engineer at IBM, or a clerk at Sears?” “Do I marry, or stay single?” The questions are endless. One follows another. Every new responsibility brings new decisions. “What college should my son attend?” “Is it time for children?” “Should I live near the church, or commute?” How in the world do we know what God wants? Do we set out a fleece seek advice? pray? read the Bible? All these are right, yet there is one decision that must be made first. (Hang on, it’s a tough one).

To know God’s will, we must totally surrender to God’s will. Our tendency is to make God’s decision for Him.

2. Don’t go to God with options and expect Him to choose one of your preferences. Go to Him with empty hands—no hidden agendas, no crossed fingers, nothing behind your back. Go to Him with a willingness to do whatever He says. If you surrender your will, then He will “equip you with everything good for doing His will” (Hebrews 13:21). It’s a promise.

What decisions do you face today: big ones, small ones?

Have you ever seen God guide you toward a particular choice? How do you usually ask for His help?

How full of options are your hands? Could you empty them before the Lord and accept His will—before you sense His direction?

PART 3: AN INSTRUMENT FOR NOBLE PURPOSES

THIRTY FOUR: AN INSTRUMENT FOR NOBLE PURPOSES

". . . made holy, useful to the Master and prepared to do any good work" (2 Timothy 2:21).

Ah, to be your instrument, O God,

like Paul to the Gentiles,

like Philip to the eunuch,

like Jesus to the world,

. . . to be your instrument.

To be like a scalpel in the gentle hands of a surgeon,

healing and mending.

To be like a plow in the weathered hands of a farmer,

sowing and tending.

To be like a scythe in the sweeping hands of a reaper,

gathering and using.

To be . . . an instrument for noble purposes.

To be honed and tuned,

in sync with your will,

sensitive to your touch.

This, my God, is my prayer.

Draw me from your fire,

form me on your anvil,

shape me with your hands,

and let me be your tool.

Where is your heart today? Do you desire to be used of God?

What might it take for you to be shaped by God’s hands, in sync with his will?

Think of those images of God: as surgeon, farmer, reaper. Is the Lord showing

you a way to use your gifts to help others?

THIRTY FIVE: TODAY I WILL MAKE A DIFFERENCE

1. Today I will make a difference. I will begin by controlling my thoughts. A person is the product of his thoughts. I want to be happy and hopeful. Therefore, I will have thoughts that are happy and hopeful. I refuse to be victimized by my circumstances. I will not let petty inconveniences such as stoplights, long lines, and traffic jams be my masters. I will avoid negativism and gossip. Optimism will be my companion, and victory will be my hallmark. Today I will make a difference.

2. I will be grateful for the twenty-four hours that are before me. Time is a precious commodity. I refuse to allow what little time I have to be contaminated by self-pity, anxiety, or boredom. I will face this day with the joy of a child and the courage of a giant. I will drink each minute as though it is my last. When tomorrow comes, today will be gone forever. While it is here, I will use it for loving and giving. Today I will make a difference.

I will not let past failures haunt me. Even though my life is scarred with mistakes, I refuse to rummage through my trash heap of failures. I will admit them. I will correct them. I will press on. Victoriously. No failure is fatal. It’s okay to stumble. . . . I will get up. It’s okay to fail. . . . I will rise again. Today I will make a difference.

3. I will spend time with those I love. My spouse, my children, my family. A man can own the world but be poor for the lack of love. A man can own nothing and yet be wealthy in relationships. Today I will spend at least five minutes with the significant people in my world. Five quality minutes of talking or hugging or thanking or listening. Five undiluted minutes with my mate, children, and friends. Today I will make a difference.

Are you letting petty inconveniences—or not-so-petty circumstances—master you? Or is God your master in all things?

What are you grateful for?

What difference would you like to make in this one day you’re given?

THIRTY SIX: THE TESTED TUNNEL

There is something about a living testimony that gives us courage. Once we see someone else emerging from life’s dark tunnels, we realize that we, too, can overcome.

1. It was left to the Son of God to disclose the true nature of this force. It was on the cross that the showdown occurred. Christ called for satan’s cards. Weary of seeing humanity fooled by a cover-up, He entered the tunnel of death to prove that there was indeed an exit. And as the world darkened, creation held her breath.

2. Christ emerged from death’s tunnel, lifted a triumphant fist toward the sky, and freed all from the fear of death. “Death has been swallowed up in victory!” 

Do you fear the tunnel of death? Or, how is death swallowed up in victory in your life? What other dark tunnels do you face? Can you take courage from the testimony of others who have faced similar circumstances? 

What about your own testimony? Have you been given, through trial, an ability to cheer on someone else? Are you doing that?

THIRTY SEVEN: THE MOVEMENT THAT WAS DOOMED TO FAIL

1. The movement was doomed to failure. But it didn’t fail. It succeeded. Not only did it succeed but it far surpassed any movement in our world’s history. Within thirty years the message of Jesus Christ had entered every port, city, and courtyard of the world. It was infectious. It was a moving organism. People actually died to see it continue. It should have failed, but it succeeded. And it still succeeds. God’s movement will never stop. It might be slowed, but it will never be stopped.

2. We should fall to our knees in humble gratitude that God has allowed us to participate in such a cause. For this is not the movement of a man. It is the movement of God. That is precisely why what should have failed will never fail. It is the movement of God.

What is this “movement” of God? What do you know about the mission of Jesus Christ on this earth?

What would you say is the central message, the core belief that has held together and defined the Christian movement all these years?

How do you fit in to the movement? Are you an advancer of the cause?

THIRTY EIGHT: COMMUNICATION IS MORE THAN WORDS

1. The true expert on a topic never needs to put others down in order to elevate himself. Nor does he need to employ foreign technical jargon in communicating with the lay public. Such jargon is useful among professionals but is basically useless elsewhere. In religion we have developed our own jargon—words like salvation, sanctification, holiness, and reconciliation. These are words that are invaluable and significant to us, but they do not always communicate to the non-Christian.

One of the paradoxes of communication is that a word must be understandable to both parties before it is acceptable for use. Just because you understand a word or concept doesn’t mean that the person with whom you are speaking does. 

2. This is what effective communication is all about. Jesus was a master at never assuming that something was communicated just because it was spoken. He employed endless creativity: illustrations, parables, quizzes, questions, case studies, and so on. Aquinas said long ago, “The poor teacher stands where he is and beckons the pupil come to him. The good teacher goes to where the pupil is, takes him, and leads him to where he ought to go.”

Is it more important to you to be right—or to communicate?

As a Christian, what do you hope to communicate to those in your world?

How do you approach the Great Commission of Jesus: Are you waiting for the pupil to come to you? Is there someone to whom you ought to go?

THIRTY NINE: NONNEGOTIABLE LOVE

The determination and commitment of Ruth are evident in her words: “Where you go I will go, and where you stay I will stay. Your people will be my people and your God my God. Where you die I will die, and there I will be buried” (Ruth 1:16-17).

1. One relationship of this caliber can buoy us through the fiercest storms. Happy are those who have one companion, one relationship that is not based on looks or performance. Every person is in dire need of at least one faithful friend or a mate who will look them in the eye and say, “I will never leave you. You may grow old and gray, but I’ll never leave you. Your face may wrinkle and your body may ruin, but I’ll never leave you. The years may be cruel and the times may be hard, but I’ll be here. I will never leave you.”

2. Think for a minute about the people in your world. What do they think of your commitment to them? How would you rate your faithfulness? Does your loyalty ever waver? Do you have one person with whom your “contract” is nonnegotiable?

Make the most of your relationships. Follow the advice of Benjamin Franklin: “Be slow in choosing friends and be even slower in leaving them.”

Why is it important for us to be faithful in our various relationships? What model do we have?

Are you a faithful friend? Spouse? Family member?

FORTY: SINGLEHOOD: MISTAKE OR MISSION? 

1. Single people. What an enigma! Those unusual creatures without wives or husbands. What do you say to them? How can you carry on a conversation with people who are so deprived and socially amputated? Do you pity them? Encourage them? Ignore them? Our culture is built so much around the home that those without a home are . . . well, they’re kind of like a plane without a hangar (high-flying, but nowhere to go in a storm).

Honestly . . . is bachelorhood really a disease? Are life and meaning found only at the marriage altar? Is there no room at the inn for those who sleep alone? Are they that socially underdeveloped?

2. Jesus suggested that singleness is more than acceptable. In fact, Jesus called it a gift (Matthew 19:12); not for everybody but for a few. A gift that encourages “undivided devotion to the Lord” (1 Corinthians 7:35). Perhaps, then, a single Christian should not be regarded as one who is spiritually impotent but as one who is gifted. I was grateful for my “gift” of singleness. Later God chose to replace my gift with a wife. I’m thankful, and I’m still serving him. But, believe it or not, it is possible to be content and come home to an empty apartment.

Being mateless is not nearly as bad as it’s made out to be. In fact, it could be part of a plan.

How do you view the singles in your world?

How can you model Jesus’ attitude toward singles in your encounters with those who are unmarried?

FORTY ONE: THE POISON TONGUE

1. These five ideas will help us control our tongues:

• Never say anything about someone that you wouldn’t say to his face.

• Never say anything about someone unless she is there to respond.

• Refuse to listen to someone else’s gossip.

• Initiate positive statements about people whom you’re discussing.

• Remember, “the tongue . . . is a fire” (James 3:6).

Do you listen to—or contribute to—gossip?

Is it your habit to think and speak well of others?

Does your tongue need taming? What does the Lord desire of you—and how will you seek to obey Him?

FORTY TWO: THE DAY OF THE QUESTION. THE QUESTION!

1. The day of the question. The question. She didn’t know. At least I didn’t tell her. (Turns out, however, that she expected it. She knew it was coming before I did). She said yes. Had I the pen of a magician I couldn’t describe my feelings at that moment. I was overwhelmed. Euphoric. Elated. Yet humbled that one so special could return my love. And grateful—that God would give me such a gift.

Does God have any part in the decisions and questions of your life?

Think about the gifts he’s given you. Are you grateful to God? How can you live in gratitude?

FORTY THREE: FIVE VOTES OF CONFIDENCE

1. Today is a new day. Hence,

• I refuse to be shackled by yesterday’s failures

• What I don’t know will no longer be an intimidation—it will be an opportunity

• I will not allow people to define my mood, method, image, or mission

• I will pursue a mission greater than myself by making at least one person happy they saw me

• I will have no time for self-pity, gossip, or negativism . . . from myself or from others.

What failures are you hanging on to, or even shackled by?

Do you allow people or circumstances to determine your attitudes and actions?

Whose mission do you pursue?

FORTY FOUR: THE WEDDING PRAYER

Create in us a love, O Lord.

An eternal love . . .

Your love.

A love that forgives 

any failure,

spans

any distance,

withstands

any tempest.

Create in us a love, O Lord.

A new love.

A fresh love.

A love with the tenderness

of a lamb,

the grandeur

of a mountain,

the strength

of a lion.

And make us one. Intimately one.

As you made a hundred colors into one sunset,

A thousand cedars into one forest,

and countless stars into one galaxy . . .

make our two hearts as

one,

Father, forever . . .

that you may be praised, Father,

forever.

If you are married, or planning to be, consider the prayer above.

Do you share the love of God?

Are you united in Christ?

What can you do today to pursue one united heart?

FORTY FIVE: SARAH

1. A telegram and a birthday card were taped to the dresser mirror. A church group sang hymns down the hall. She had done her best to make the small room look homey, but a person can only do so much. A thousand miles away a family played.

2. Our society has little room for the aged. People like Sarah come in scores. No one intentionally forgets them. Maybe that’s why it is so painful. If there were a reason: a fight, a mistake, a dispute . . . But usually it’s unintentional. Unintentional rejection. It will kill Sarah; she’ll die of loneliness. It doesn’t matter how nice the convalescent home is; nurses and old folks don’t replace a grandbaby’s smile or a son’s kiss.

Spend all your love on her now.

Forget not the hands, though spotted,

The hair, though thinning,

The eyes, though dim.

For they are a part of you.

And when they are gone, a part of you is gone.

Is there a convalescent in your acquaintance who needs your care today? What can you commit to doing on his or her behalf?

Who else is a part of you—your church body, your community, your workplace—who might need some kind of care, whether physical or emotional? What can you do to spend love on them?

Why should we care for the sick and aged and lonely? What does Jesus say about them?

FORTY SIX: THE SONAR FISH FINDER

1. You see, it never really matters if you catch any fish. Oh, sure, that’s what everyone asks you: “What did you catch?” But the beauty of fishing is not in the catch—it’s in the experience. And a sonar fish finder? Well, it almost seems irreverent. It’s like a do-it-yourself wedding or computerized dating. It’s like electronic pitchers (dads are supposed to do that, too!) or those false logs you put in a fireplace. Fishing is one of those sacred times that must not be violated and cannot be duplicated.

What is your sacred time? Afternoon walks with your friend? Early morning coffee with your wife? Long drives with your son? An afternoon at the beach with your daughter?

2. Maybe I’m making too big a deal about the fish finder. The point is this: People are priceless. We should never allow a gadget to interfere with the precious simplicity of waiting for the fish to bite. If my father and I had bought a sonar fish finder, we’d have caught more fish, but countless precious conversations would have never existed.

Think about the special times in your life. Are you making time for them? Are you making time for the people in your life?

Whom do you value highly? Do they know it? Is it evident in the time you spend together?

Are any shortcuts, like the fish finder, cutting short the real experiences of your life? 

FORTY SEVEN: TRIUMPHANT... FOREVER! 

1. Triumph is a precious thing. We honor the triumphant. Triumph brings with it a swell of purpose and meaning. When I’m triumphant, I’m worthy. When I’m triumphant, I count. When I’m triumphant, I’m significant. 

2. Triumph is fleeting, though. Hardly does one taste victory before it is gone. Achieved, yet now history. No one remains champion forever. Time for yet another conquest, another victory. Perhaps this is the absurdity of Paul’s claim: “But thanks be to God, who always leads us in triumphal procession” (2 Corinthians 2:14).

The triumph of Christ is not temporary. “Triumphant in Christ” is not an event or an occasion. It’s not fleeting. To be triumphant in Christ is a lifestyle. . . a state of being! To triumph in Christ is not something we do, it’s something we are.

3. Here is the big difference between victory in Christ and victory in the world: A victor in the world rejoices over something he did—swimming the English Channel, climbing Everest, making a million. But the believer rejoices over who he is—a child of God, a forgiven sinner, an heir of eternity. As the hymn goes, “Heir of salvation, purchase of God, born of his Spirit, washed in His blood.”

4. Nothing can separate us from our triumph in Christ. Nothing! Our triumph is based not upon our feelings but upon God’s gift. Our triumph is based not upon our perfection but upon God’s forgiveness. How precious is this triumph! For even though we are pressed on every side, the victory is still ours. Nothing can alter the loyalty of God.

“It is better to be alone with God. His friendship will not fail me, nor His counsel, nor His love. In His strength I will dare and dare and dare until I die” (Joan of Arc). 

“Triumphant in Christ.” It is not something we do. It’s something we are.

Where do you find your significance? In your triumphs, or in Christ’s?

What do you think it means to live in the triumphant lifestyle of Christ?

Do you know who you are in Christ? What implications does that have for the specific situations of your life: your relationships, your work, your leisure time, your daily reflections and worship?

FORTY EIGHT: THE MAKINGS OF A MOVEMENT

1. Each of us should lead a life stirring enough to start a movement. We should yearn to change the world. We should love unquenchably, dream unfalteringly, and work unceasingly. We should close our ears to the manifold voices of compromise and perch ourselves on the branch of truth. We should champion the value of people, proclaim the forgiveness of God, and claim the promise of heaven. And we should lead a life stirring enough to cause a movement.

2. Will we see a movement occur? Perhaps, and perhaps not. Movements never run their course in one generation. The great revivals and reformations that dot the history of humanity were never the work of just one person. Every movement is the sum of visionaries who have gone before, generations of uncompromised lives and nonnegotiated truths. Faithful men who have led forceful lives.

3. A movement comes of age when one life harvests the seeds planted by countless lives in previous generations. A movement occurs when one person, no greater or lesser than those who have gone before, lives a forceful life in the fullness of time.

4. Let’s live lives stirring and forceful enough to cause a movement. A true mark of the visionary is his willingness to lay down his life for those whom he’ll never see. Will that movement come in our generation? I hope so. But even if it doesn’t, even if we never see it, it will occur. And we’ll be a part of it.

What does the idea of a movement mean to you?

Is your life “stirring enough to cause a movement”? What kind of movement would that be?

How does God want you to live? What kind of choices must you make today in order to live as a follower of the ultimate Mover?

CONCLUSION: EMERGING FROM THE ANVIL

FORTY NINE: OFF THE ANVIL

1. When I learned that Daddy had a terminal disease, I wrote him, volunteering to change my plans and stay near him. He immediately wrote back, saying, “Don’t be concerned about me. I have no fear of death or eternity; just go . . . please Him.” My father’s life is an example of a heart melted in the fire of God, formed on His anvil, and used in His vineyard. He knew, and knows, what his life was for. In a society of question and confusion, his was one life that had a definition.

2. Time on God’s anvil should do that for us: It should clarify our mission and define our purpose. When a tool emerges from a blacksmith’s anvil, there is no question as to what it is for. There is no question as to why it was made. One look at the tool and you instantly know its function. You pick up a hammer and you know that it was made to hit nails. You pick up a saw and you know that it was made to cut wood. You see a screwdriver and you know that it is for tightening screws.

3. As a human being emerges from the anvil of God, the same should be true. Being tested by God reminds us that our function and task is to be about His business, that our purpose is to be an extension of His nature, an ambassador of His throne room, and a proclaimer of His message. We should exit the shop with no question as to why God made us. We know our purpose.

In a world of confused identity, in a world of wavering commitments and foggy futures, let us be firm in our role. Society is in dire need of a quorum of people whose task is clear and whose determination is unquenchable.

4. God has not hidden His will from His people. Our Master does not play games with us. We know who we are. We know what we are for. There may be a question now and then about how and with whom we should carry out His mission. But the underlying truth is still the same: We are God’s people, and we are to be about His business.

5. If we live our lives in this way, then we can, like my father, enter into our final years with the assurance of knowing that life was well spent and that heaven is but a wink away. And is there any greater reward than this?

Do you know your purpose, what you were made for? Whose business are you about: your own, or God’s?

It’s possible for even a longtime believer to live without a sense of purpose. Have you asked God to use your life for His service?

How do you think about eternity? Do you have any fear of death or the afterlife?

Do you look forward to eternity with God?

MAX LUCADO

ON THE ANVIL

ON THE ANVIL PART 1 (MAX LUCADO)

INTRODUCTION: THE BLACKSMITH'S SHOP
1. In the shop of a blacksmith, there are three types of tools. There are tools on the junk pile: outdated, broken, dull, rusty. They sit in the cobwebbed corner, useless to their master, oblivious to their calling. There are tools on the anvil: melted down, molten hot, moldable, changeable. They lie on the anvil, being shaped by their master, accepting their calling. There are tools of usefulness: sharpened, primed, defined, mobile. They lie ready in the blacksmith’s tool chest, available to their master, fulfilling their calling.
2. Some people lie useless: lives broken, talents wasting, fires quenched, dreams dashed. They are tossed in with the scrap iron, in desperate need of repair, with no notion of purpose. Others lie on the anvil: hearts open, hungry to change, wounds healing, visions clearing. They welcome the painful pounding of the blacksmith’s hammer, longing to be rebuilt, begging to be called. Others lie in their Master’s hands: well tuned, uncompromising, polished, productive. They respond to their Master’s forearm, demanding nothing, surrendering all.
3. We’ll discover what Paul meant when he spoke of becoming “an instrument for.noble purposes.” And what a becoming it is! The rubbish pile of broken tools, the anvil of recasting, the hands of the Master—it’s a simultaneously joyful and painful voyage. And for you who make the journey—who leave the heap and enter the fire, dare to be pounded on God’s anvil, and doggedly seek to discover your own purpose—take courage, for you await the privilege of being called “God’s chosen instruments.”


PART 1: THE PILE OF BROKEN TOOLS
ONE: THE PILE OF BROKEN TOOLS
1. To find me, look over in the corner of the shop, over here, behind the cobwebs, beneath the dust, in the darkness. There are scores of us, broken handles, dulled blades, cracked iron. Some of us were useful once, and then . . . many of us never were. But, listen, don’t feel sorry for me. Life ain’t so bad here in the pile . . .no work, no anvils, no pain, no sharpening, And yet, the days are very long. 

Are you broken, too? Do you think God might be calling you “off the pile”? What would that require of you?

TWO: I AM VERY WEARY
1. Weariness is tough. I don’t mean the physical weariness that comes from mowing the lawn or the mental weariness that follows a hard day of decisions and thinking. No, the weariness that attacked Judge Crater is much worse. It’s the weariness that comes just before you give up. That feeling of honest desperation. It’s the dispirited father, the abandoned child, or the retiree with time on his hands. It’s that stage in life when motivation disappears: the children grow up, a job is lost, a spouse dies. The result is weariness—deep, lonely, frustrated weariness. 
2. Only one man in history has claimed to  have an answer for it. He stands before all the Joseph Craters of the world with the same promise: “Come to me, all you who are weary . . . and I will give you rest” (Matthew 11:28).

Have you ever been truly weary? What do you do when you feel that way? Have you ever known the rest Christ offers? If not, why not? How do you place yourself in Christ’s rest?

THREE: NOW, DON'T GET CARRIED AWAY! 

"Peter followed at a distance" (Luke 22:54)

1. Peter learned a lesson that day—a hard lesson. It is better to have never followed Jesus than to have followed Him and denied Him.
2. Mark these words: Follow at a distance and you’ll deny the Master. Period. You won’t die for a man you can’t touch. Period. But stay near to Him, in His shadow. . . . You’ll die with Him, gladly.

Have you been “carried away” by Jesus?What keeps you at a distance? What do you need to give to God?

FOUR: SOUR GRAPES
1. I once knew a man who came every Sunday to be entertained and not to encourage. He remarked that the Sunday afternoon game was more exciting than the Sunday morning assembly. I wasn’t surprised.

Sound familiar? What negative impact does this type of person have? Have you ever felt like that man? What influences helped you shift your attitude?

FIVE: BILLIE RESIGNS
1. When Billie resigned from life, she became a social recluse. Her yard became a jungle. Her home became a source of ghost stories and old wives’ tales. She overate. She withdrew. She didn’t care.. Billie resigned. Her life stands as a quiet legacy to us all. Man must have something larger than death . . . or death takes man.

Do you know someone who has “resigned” from life? What keeps you engaged in life when difficulties strike? How do you think God is calling you to live?

SIX: FOR THE LOVE OF A STRANGER AND THE LACKED OF A NAME

We don’t know the emotions, but we believe we know their result.

1. Our world has little room for failures. Our success-centered enterprise system is ideal for the successful but devastating for the loser. In an effort to create winners, we also create misfits. Jesus had a place for misfits. In His book the last became first, and even the loser had value. It is our responsibility to be like Christ. It is our responsibility to intercept a life like John Hinckley’s and fill it with value.

Where does our value come from? Have you ever questioned your own value? Why?How does a relationship with Christ affirm our value? How can you put into action Christ’s view of the misfits in your world?

SEVEN: MERCY, NOT SACRIFICE

But go and learn what this means: “I desire mercy, not sacrifice.” For I have not come to call the righteous, but sinners (Matthew 9:13).

“Lord,” I said, “I want to be your man, not my own.

So to you I give my money, my car—even my home.”

Then, smug and content, I relaxed with a smile

And whispered to God, “I bet it’s been a while

Since anyone has given so much—so freely?”

His answer surprised me. He replied, “Not really.

“Not a day has gone by since the beginning of time,

That someone hasn’t offered meager nickels and dimes, Golden altars and

crosses, contributions and penance,

Stone monuments and steeples; but why not repentance?

“The money, the statues, the cathedrals you’ve built,

Do you really think I need your offerings of guilt?

What good is money that’s meant only to salve

The hurting conscience that so many of you have?

“Your lips know no prayers. Your eyes, no compassion.

But you will go to church (when churchgoing’s in fashion).

“Just give me a tear—a heart ready to mold.

And I’ll give you a mission, a message so bold—

That a fire will be stirred where there was only death,

And your heart will be flamed by my life and my breath.”

I stuck my hands in my pockets and kicked at the dirt.

It’s tough to be corrected (I guess my feelings were hurt).

But it was worth the struggle to realize the thought

That the Cross isn’t for sale and Christ’s blood can’t be bought.

What are you offering to Jesus? What gift does Jesus ask of you?

How do you truly embrace the sacrifice Jesus made?

EIGHT: WHO IS RIGHTEOUS?

Question: O Lord, who shall live in your tent?

Answer: He who does what is right. (Psalm 15:1-2, paraphrased)

Have you ever noticed how many people want to be right before God?

1. Some people get mission-minded: They learn new languages, they teach untaught people, they take pictures of converts and speak at conferences. They are righteous, they say . . . and they all huddle together and sneer at those who are not.

2. You know, I think that sometimes God looks down at this dusty footstool and sees the righteous theological huddle, the righteous missionary huddle, the righteous vocational huddle. . . and I think He sighs.

What is righteousness? Who is righteous?

Are you a “righteous huddler”? How can you break out of the huddle?

What is your attitude toward others? What should it be?

NINE: HOPE FOR LEO? 

1. Leo was in that era of life when all you have to look forward to is death and all you have to look back on is memories. To Leo, life was very real. To Leo, life was very empty. Maybe it was unfair that I asked such a painful question, but I asked it anyway: “If you could live life all over again, would you?” He looked at me and then at the floor. “No,” he said sadly. “I don’t think so.” It’s hard to be without light in a dark world.

Do you ever feel that you are without that kind of light—even in your walk with Christ? Does life seem empty to you?

Do you experience the hope of Jesus?

How can you live in the peace and hope of Christ—and how can you share it with others? 

TEN: JUDAS, THE MAN WHO NEVER KNEW

1. For all the things we don’t know about Judas, there is one thing we know for sure: He had no relationship with the Master. He had seen Jesus, but he did not know Him. He had heard Jesus, but he did not understand Him. He had a religion but no relationship. As Satan worked his way around the table in the upper room, he needed a special kind of man to betray our Lord. He needed a man who had seen Jesus but who did not know Him. He needed a man who knew the actions of Jesus but had missed out on the mission of Jesus. Judas was this man. He knew the empire but had never known the Man.

2. We learn this timeless lesson from the betrayer. Satan’s best tools of destruction are not from outside the church; they are within the church. A church will never die from the immorality in Hollywood or the corruption in Washington. But it will die from corrosion within—from those who bear the name of Jesus but have never met him and from those who have religion but no relationship. Judas bore the cloak of religion, but he never knew the heart of Christ. Let’s make it our goal to know . . . deeply.

What qualities come to mind when you think of Judas? Do you share any of those characteristics?

What’s the difference between having a religion and having a relationship?

ELEVEN: THE HOPE THAT WENT IGNORED

1. In the search for truth, the means often become the end.

TWELVE: EYES THAT NEVER SEE, EARS THAT NEVER HEAR

1. Sometimes I want to stand at the corner of the street and yell, “Doesn’t anyone want to know why? Why lonely evenings? Why broken hearts? Why abandoned marriages? Why fatherless babies?” But I never yell it. I just stick my hands in my pockets and stare . . . and wonder. The most deadly trick of Satan is not to rob us of answers. It’s to steal our questions.

What is the difference between contentment and complacency?

What is the source of complacency?

What would it take to shake your complacency?

THIRTEEN: NEW WINE IS FOR FRESH SKINS

1. Think for a minute. Do you have any wineskins that need to be thrown out? Look closely in your closet. They come in all sizes. Maybe yours is an old indulgence—food, clothes, sex. Or an old habit, like gossip or profanity. Or possibly, like Steve, an old relationship. No friendship or romance is worth your soul. Repentance means change. And change means purging your heart of anything that can’t coexist with Christ.

2. You can’t put new life into an old lifestyle. The inevitable tragedy occurs. The new life is lost.

What are your old wineskins? What will it take for you to throw them out?

Are you willing to throw them out? If not—why not?

PART 2: ON THE ANVIL

FOURTEEN: ON THE ANVIL

1. The smith knows the type of instrument he wants. He knows the size. He knows the shape. He knows the strength. Whang! Whang! The hammer slams. The shop rings with noise, the air fills with smoke, and the softened metal responds. But the response doesn’t come easily. It doesn’t come without discomfort. To melt down the old and recast it as new is a disrupting process. Yet the metal remains on the anvil, allowing the toolmaker to remove the scars, repair the cracks, refill the voids, and purge the impurities.

2. And with time, a change occurs: What was dull becomes sharpened, what was crooked becomes straight, what was weak becomes strong, and what was useless becomes valuable.

“For a little while you may have had to suffer grief in all kinds of trials. These have come so that your faith—of greater worth than gold, which perishes even though refined by fire—may be proved genuine and may result in praise, glory and honor when Jesus Christ is revealed” (1 Peter 1:6-7).

Describe your own experiences with grief or difficult times. What have you learned through these experiences?

Has suffering affected your faith? In what ways?

FIFTEEN: ANVIL TIME

1. On God’s anvil. Perhaps you’ve been there. Melted down. Formless. Undone. Placed on the anvil for . . . reshaping? (A few rough edges too many.) Discipline? (A good father disciplines.) Testing? (But why so hard?)

2. Anvil time. It can be caused by a death, a breakup, going broke, going prayerless. The light switch is flipped off and the room darkens. “All the thoughtful words of help and hope have all been nicely said. But I’m still hurting, wondering. . . .”

3. On the anvil. Brought face-to-face with God out of the utter realization that we have nowhere else to go. Jesus in the garden. Peter with a tear-streaked face. David after Bathsheba. Elijah and the “still, small voice.” Paul, blind in Damascus.

4. Anvil time is not to be avoided; it’s to be experienced. Although the tunnel is dark, it does go through the mountain. Anvil time reminds us of who we are and who God is. We shouldn’t try to escape it. To escape it could be to escape God.

5. God sees our life from beginning to end. He may lead us through a storm at age thirty so we can endure a hurricane at age sixty. An instrument is useful only if it’s in the right shape. A dull ax or a bent screwdriver needs attention, and so do we. A good blacksmith keeps His tools in shape. So does God.

Should God place you on His anvil, be thankful. It means He thinks you’re still worth reshaping.

Is it anvil time for you? What does that look like?

What is your hope for the reshaping that is taking place?

Has God left an imprint on your life? What does that mean to you?

SIXTEEN: FOOTPRINTS OF SATAN

Once he was approached by a leper, who knelt before Him begging his help. “If only you will,” said the man, “you can cleanse me.” In warm indignation Jesus stretched out His hand, [and] touched him (Mark 1:40-41, NEB).

1. Jesus saw a leper one day . . . fingers gnarled . . . skin ulcerated . . . face disfigured. And he got indignant . . . angry. Not a selfish, violent anger. A HOLY anger . . . a controlled frustration . . .a compassionate disgust. And it moved Him. It moved Him to action.

2. May we never grow so “holy,” may we never be so “mature,” may we never become so “religious,” that we can see the footprints of Satan and stay calm. 

What do you think is meant by “footprints of Satan”?

Does anything move you, as it does Jesus, to the kind of indignation described here?

Are you willing to stretch toward someone in need of your touch? Who might that be?

SEVENTEEN: THUMP-THUD, THUMP-TUD

1. When a potter bakes a pot, he checks its solidity by pulling it out of the oven and thumping it. If it “sings,” it’s ready. If it “thuds,” it’s placed back in the oven. The character of a person is also checked by thumping.

2. Jesus said that out of the nature of the heart a man speaks (Luke 6:45). There’s nothing like a good thump to reveal the nature of a heart. The true character of a person is seen not in momentary heroics but in the thump-packed humdrum of day-to-day living. If you have a tendency to thud more than you sing, take heart.

3. There is hope for us “thudders”:

• Begin by thanking God for thumps. I don’t mean a half-hearted thank-you. I mean a rejoicing, jumping-for-joy thank-you from the bottom of your heart (James 1:2). Chances are that God is doing the thumping. And he’s doing it for your own good. So every thump is a reminder that God is molding you (Hebrews 12:5-8).

• Learn from each thump. Face up to the fact that you are not “thump-proof.” You are going to be tested from now on. You might as well learn from the thumps—you can’t avoid them. Look upon each inconvenience as an opportunity to develop patience and persistence. Each thump will help you or hurt you, depending on how you use it.

• Be aware of “thump-slump” times. Know your pressure periods. For all of us, there are times during the week when we can anticipate an unusual amount of thumping. The best way to handle thump-slump times? Head on. Bolster yourself with extra prayer, and don’t give up.

Remember, no thump is disastrous. All thumps work for good if we are loving and obeying God.

Have you felt the divine Potter’s thump lately? Why do you think He might be

testing you?

If it’s been a while since you’ve been thumped, why do you think that is?

Would you describe your spiritual attitude as singing, or thudding?

EIGHTEEN: WHO PUSHES YOUR SWING? 

1. Children love to swing. There’s nothing like it. Thrusting your feet toward the sky, leaning so far back that everything looks upside down. Spinning trees, a stomach that jumps into your throat. Ahh, swinging. . . . I learned a lot about trust on a swing. As a child, I only trusted certain people to push my swing. If I was being pushed by people I trusted (like Dad or Mom), they could do anything they wanted. They could twist me, turn me, stop me. . . . I loved it! I loved it because I trusted the person pushing me. 

2. Remember when Jesus stilled the storm in Matthew 8? The storm wasn’t just a gentle spring rain. This was a storm. Matthew calls the storm a seismos, which is the Greek word for “earthquake.” The waves in this earthquake were so high that the boat was hidden. The Sea of Galilee can create a vicious storm. Even veteran fishermen like Peter knew this storm could be their last. So, with fear and water on their faces, they ran to wake up Jesus. They ran to do what? Jesus was asleep? Waves tossing the boat like popcorn in a popper, and Jesus was asleep? Water flooding the deck and soaking the sailors, and Jesus was in dreamland? How in the world could He sleep through a storm? Simple. He knew who was pushing the swing.

The disciples’ knees were knocking because their swing was being pushed by a stranger. Not so with Jesus. He could find peace in the storm. 

3. Everywhere I look, private storms occur. Family deaths, strained marriages, broken hearts, lonely evenings. We must remember who is pushing the swing. We must put our trust in Him. We can’t grow fearful. He won’t let us tumble out.

Who pushes your swing? In the right hands, you can find peace . . . even in the storm.

Are you swinging freely—or are you in the midst of a storm? Do you find yourself learning to trust God more in either circumstance?

Do you really believe God is pushing your swing? Why?

NINETEEN: JUAN—LUNCH

1. On Friday, May 7, my calendar reads Juan—Lunch. The lunch date never occurred. Juan killed himself on Thursday, May 6. What emotions do I feel?

• Confusion. The black veil of hopeless death falls viciously. Why? How horrid it is to be governed by laws we don’t understand.

• Guilt. You see, we were originally scheduled to have lunch on May 6, but I had postponed it to May 7. I can’t help but wonder, What if I hadn’t canceled? But the guilt will pass. I know too well my own failures. The inability to forgive oneself is itself suicidal.

• Clarity. How death clears the fog! The abrupt departure of life starkly reminds me of why we are here. Death causes all other preoccupations of life to tumble down the hill, leaving at the top this one priority: Jesus Christ rose from the dead and God has forgiven my failures. When all we have to face is death and all we have to remember are memories, Jesus’ victory and God’s forgiveness will be the only things that matter.

2. Why am I writing this? It comforts me, for one thing. For another, I want you to know how terribly vital each person in the world is. I loved Juan. In a small way, this is a tribute to him. He was a victim of despair. He wanted a life he couldn’t have. He had a life he couldn’t handle. Juan was caught in a shouting match between the world on one side and a handful of us on the other. “Life isn’t worth it!” screamed the world. “Yes it is,” we yelled back. “No it isn’t.” “Yes it is!” And there was Juan in the middle, caught and confused. He’d look at us—then at the world. A puppy between two masters. Finally, we were outshouted. “You’re right, it isn’t worth it!” He despaired and jumped.

But we can’t quit shouting. Many may ignore us, but many will hear. And if only one hears, isn’t it worth it?

Do you know someone whose words or actions betray a sense of despair? What

could you do to extend an offer of hope?

Are you caught between two masters in any aspect of your life? What are they—

and which master do you want to serve?

TWENTY: LIFE FROM THE PRESS BOX

1. It made sense, after someone explained it to me, why our high school football coach would always disappear in the middle of the third quarter. “Where’s the coach?” I asked, thinking I was the only one to notice his absence, which made me feel important. “In the press box,” he answered. “Getting coffee?” I asked. “No, getting perspective.”

2. Occasionally we need to try that on ourselves, too. How vital it is that we keep a finger on the pulse of our own lives. How critical are those times of self-examination and evaluation. Yet it’s hard to evaluate ourselves while we’re in the middle of the game: schedules pressing, phones ringing, children crying. I’ve got a suggestion. Take some press-box time. Take some time (at least half a day) and get away from everything and everyone.

Take your Bible and a notebook and get a press-box view of your life. Are you as in tune with God as you need to be? How is your relationship with your mate and children? What about your goals in life? Perhaps some decisions need to be made. Spend much time in prayer. Meditate on God’s Word. Be quiet. Fast for the day.

3. I’m suggesting an intense, soul-searching day spent in reverence before God and in candid honesty with yourself. Write down your life story. Reread God’s story. I might mention that a day like this won’t just happen. It must be made. You’ll never wake up and just happen to have a free day on your hands. You’ll have to pull out the calendar, elbow out a time in the schedule, and take it. Be stubborn with it. You need the time. Your family needs you to take this time.

Getting some press-box perspective could change the whole ball game.

What areas of your life require your focused attention or judgment?

In your quiet time with God, what truths has He revealed to you?

TWENTY ONE: THE VALUE OF A RELATIONSHIP

1. Relationships. America’s most precious resource. Take our oil, take our weapons, but don’t take what holds us together-relationships. A nation’s strength is measured by the premium it puts on its own people. When people value people, an impenetrable web is drawn, a web of vitality and security. A relationship. The delicate fusion of two human beings. The intricate weaving of two lives; two sets of moods, mentalities, and temperaments. Two intermingling hearts, both seeking solace and security.

What matters most in life is not what ladders we climb or what ownings we accumulate. What matters most is a relationship.

2. What steps are you taking to protect your “possessions”? What measure are you using to ensure that your relationships are strong and healthy? What are you doing to solidify the bridges between you and those in your world? Do you resolve conflict as soon as possible, or do you “let the sun go down when you are still angry”? Do you verbalize your love every day to your mate and children? Do you look for chances to forgive? Do you pray daily for those in your life? Do you count the lives of your family members and friends more important than your own?

3. Our Master knew the value of a relationship. It was through relationships that He changed the world. His movement thrived not on personality or power but on championing the value of a person. He built bridges and crossed them. Touching the leper . . . uniting the estranged . . . exalting the prostitute. And what was that He said about loving your neighbor as yourself? 

It’s a wise man who values people above possessions.

What is your most valued possession?

How would you describe your relationships?

Describe your most important relationship—the one with God.

TWENTY TWO: NO MORE CURTAIN! 

1. A great curtain hung as a reminder of the distance between God and man. It was like a deep chasm that no one could bridge. Man on His island . . .quarantined because of sin. God could have left it like that. He could have left the people isolated. He could have washed his hands of the whole mess. He could have turned back, tossed in the towel, and started over on another planet. He could have, you know. But He didn’t.

2. God Himself bridged the chasm. In the darkness of an eclipsed sun, He and a lamb stood in the Holy of Holies. “Behold the Lamb of God.” And then it happened. God turned and looked one last time at the curtain.

“No more.” And it was torn . . . from top to bottom. Ripped in two.

“No more!”

“No more curtain!”

“No more sacrifices!”

“No more separation!”

And the sun came out.

Is there any way in which you are still living at a distance from God?

What is your attitude toward your sin? Do you think you have to appease God? Do you think you can?

Do you take the Lamb’s sacrifice for granted?

TWENTY THREE: HAVE YOU SEEN JESUS? 

1. It was indeed a dramatic picture. In the midst of this carnival of marble columns and golden idols, a penniless, homeless, nameless Nazarene asks His band of followers, “Who do you say I am?” (Matthew 16:13-16).

Peter’s response sliced the silence. “I believe that you are . . . the Son of God.”

2. Many have looked at Jesus, but few have seen Him. Many have seen His shadow, His people, His story. But only a handful have seen Jesus. Only a few have looked through the fog of religiosity and found Him. Only a few have dared to stand eye-to-eye and  heart-to-heart with Jesus and say, “I believe that you are the Son of God.”

What do you see when you consider Jesus of Nazareth? What do you believe about His claims?

What does your life say about what you believe?

If you haven’t had an encounter with Jesus like this one lately, do you think you have given Him a prominent place in your life?

TWENTY FOUR: A GOOD HEART, BUT...

(Scene—Sunday a.m. assembly; silent prayer)

Max: God, I want to do great things.

God: You do?

Max: You bet! I want to teach millions! I want to fill the Rose Bowl! I want all of the world to know your saving power! I dream of the day—

God: That’s great, Max. In fact, I can use you today after church.

Max: Super! How about some radio and TV work or . . . or . . . or an engagement to speak to Congress?

God: Well, that’s not exactly what I had in mind. See that fellow sitting next to you?

Max: Yes.

God: He needs a ride home.

Max (quietly): What?

God: He needs a ride home. And while you’re at it, one of the older ladies sitting near you is worried about getting a refrigerator moved. Why don’t you drop by this afternoon and—

Max (pleading): But, God, what about the world?

God (smiling): Think about it.

Have you ever wanted to do something great for God?

Are you willing to obey him in small ways?

What opportunities for serving God are yours today?

TWENTY FIVE: THE HIKER

1. Some hiker. Too tired to go on, yet too ashamed to go home. Deep, deep is the struggle. No longer can he hear the voices of friends. Long gone is the romance of his mission. No longer does he float on the fancifulness of a dream.

2. The hiker, now almost the storm’s victim, looks one last time for the fire. (Is there any greater challenge than that of stirring a spirit while in the clutches of defeat?). Yearning and clawing, the temptation to quit is gradually overcome by the urge to go on. Blowing on the coals, the hiker once again hears the call to the desert. Though faint, the call is clear. With all the strength he can summon, the hiker rises to his feet, bows his head, and takes his first step into the wind.

Are you huddling down on the road you were called to walk?

When you’re tempted to quit, do you question the call? Do you still hear it? Did

it change?

Have you asked God to renew your sense of purpose lately? What is He asking you to do?