SENI MENGELOLA KEUANGAN DI MASA PANDEMI DAN BIJAK BERINVESTASI

IMAN DAN MINDSET TENTANG KEUANGAN

Jika kita punya mindset yang benar tentang keuangan, kita tidak akan kekurangan. 

Firman Tuhan berkata bahwa kita akan menjadi kepala dan bukan ekor, kita akan meminjamkan bukan meminjam uang.

Kita harus mengusahakan, bukan menanti mujizat seolah2 tidak perlu bekerja.

Kita diciptakan untuk mengelola. Hasil yang kita nikmati adalah hasil dari mengelola. 

MENGAPA MENGELOLA ITU PENTING? 

Kejadian 2:5 "Belum ada semak apapun di bumi, belum timbul tumbuh-tumbuhan apapun di padang, sebab TUHAN Allah belum menurunkan hujan ke bumi, dan belum ada orang untuk mengusahakan tanah itu".

Seringkali yang menjadi masalah adalah kita tidak bisa mengelola dan mengusahakan.

YUSUF DI MESIR (KEJADIAN 41:28-36, 47-49)

7 tahun masa kelimpahan dan 7 tahun masa kekeringan. 

Yang dilakukan Yusuf selama masa kelimpahan adalah menyimpan seperlima (20%).

ELISA DAN MINYAK SEORANG JANDA MISKIN

Ketika bejana-bejana itu sudah penuh, berkatalah perempuan itu kepada anaknya: "Dekatkanlah kepadaku sebuah bejana lagi," tetapi jawabnya kepada ibunya: "Tidak ada lagi bejana." Lalu berhentilah minyak itu mengalir. Kemudian pergilah perempuan itu memberitahukannya kepada abdi Allah, dan orang ini berkata: "Pergilah, juallah minyak itu, bayarlah hutangmu, dan hiduplah dari lebihnya, engkau serta anak-anakmu" (2 Raja-raja 4:6-7)

1. Miliki income (juallah minyak itu) 

2. Prioritas keuangan (bayarlah hutangmu) 

3. Pengelolaan keuangan (hiduplah dari lebihnya) 

KISAH ANAK YANG HILANG (LUKAS 15:12-14)

Anak sulung ini meninggalkan Tuhan bukan karena penderitaan, tapi karena faktor keuangan:

• Ketamakan

• Penuh keinginan

• Gaya hidup foya2

Itulah sebabnya faktor keuangan itu penting.

3 SIKAP YANG HARUS DIKEMBANGKAN:

1. Memberi (Kisah Para Rasul 20:35)

Memberi adalah lawan dari ketamakan. Karena ketamakan fokusnya adalah diri sendiri

2. Rasa cukup (1 Timotius 6:8) 

3. Gaya hidup sederhana

Amsal 12:9 "Lebih baik menjadi orang kecil, tetapi bekerja untuk diri sendiri, dari pada berlagak orang besar, tetapi kekurangan makan".

Jangan pernah terjebak dalam gaya hidup yang mewah/berfoya2.

Kesusahan sehari cukup untuk sehari.

Gunakan keuangan untuk kebutuhan hari ini saja, sisanya masukkan ke saving.

MEMBUAT ANGGARAN

Persepuluhan itu penting untuk membantu kita budgeting.

Dengan membuat anggaran, maka kita akan:

~ mengetahui kemana uang kita akan digunakan

~ mengontrol keuangan sesuai tujuan

~membuat keuangan kita bertumbuh

TIPS SUKSES BUDGETING:

1. Tetapkan tujuan utama keuangan Anda

2. Disiplin dalam budgeting (fixed, variable, savings)

3. Catat pengeluaran

4. Automasi pembayaran

5. Miliki mentor untuk diskusi

TIPS BIJAK KEUANGAN DI MASA PANDEMI:

1. Evaluasi sumber pendapatan

Jika memungkinkan, miliki lebih dari 1 sumber pendapatan. 

2. Evaluasi dan kontrol budget

3. Prioritaskan dana darurat

Terutama di masa pandemi, perlu dana untuk tes swab/PCR.

4. Hindari cicilan dan diskon online (hutang konsumtif)

5. Jual yang tidak diperlukan

Misal sepatu, buku, baju. 

6. Usahakan cari yang free

Misal belajar gratis via youtube.

7. Lunasi hutang yang bunganya besar

8. Perketat keinginan (budget maksimal 10%)

TABUNGAN DIBAGI 3 BESAR: dana darurat, tabungan/proteksi asuransi, investasi

BIJAK BERINVESTASI

Matius 25:15 "Yang seorang diberikannya lima talenta, yang seorang lagi dua dan yang seorang lain lagi satu, masing-masing menurut kesanggupannya, lalu ia berangkat". 

Matius 25:27 "Karena itu sudahlah seharusnya uangku itu kauberikan kepada orang yang menjalankan uang, supaya sekembaliku aku menerimanya serta dengan bunganya".

Uang itu bisa diputar dan dilipatgandakan. Uang tidak boleh didiamkan saja. Kalo kita tidak melipatgandakan, berarti kita tidak bijak.

KAPANKAH INVESTASI MULAI DILAKUKAN? 

Pengkotbah 11:6 "Taburkanlah benihmu pagi-pagi hari, dan janganlah memberi istirahat kepada tanganmu pada petang hari, karena engkau tidak mengetahui apakah ini atau itu yang akan berhasil, atau kedua-duanya sama baik".

Selain investasi, ada pekerjaan yang harus kita kerjakan.

Investasi harus dilakukan sekarang, mumpung kita masih aktif bekerja.

MENGAPA INVESTASI PENTING? 

1. Nilai uang selalu menurun

2. Selalu terjadi inflasi/ kenaikan harga (terutama dunia pendidikan dan kesehatan) 

3. Untuk hari tua yang terjamin

4. Agar bisa memberi

5. Menyiapkan warisan untuk anak cucu

MEMULAI INVESTASI

1. Tahu tujuan dan target

• Apa tujuan investasi saat ini? 

Sebagai cadangan keuangan/ dana darurat. 

• Berapa persen target yang diharapkan?

Di atas bunga deposito. 

2. Pahami resiko

Pengertian resiko:

~ jika kerugian terjadi

~ jika terjadi hal yang tidak diinginkan, misal: broker/ bank bangkrut, ekonomi runtuh.

Kerugian berapa yang siap Anda tanggung? 20%? 50%? 100%?

Pertimbangan investasi bukan dari profit, tapi dari resikonya!

3. Pilih yang sesuai

Tips memilih:

• Perhatikan tingkat resikonya, berapa % kah Anda siap kehilangan?

• Perhatikan tingkat sensitivitas fluktuatif pergerakannya

• Hati2 memilih broker dan medianya

• Perhatikan agreement yang harus disepakati

• Kemudahan pencairan

• Penyelesaian masalah

• Pecah dalam beberapa investasi

• Pilih sesuai kebutuhan dan usia

Selama tau cara menjualnya, itu investasi. Kalo tidak tau cara menjualnya, itu hobi.

Angga Prasetya (penatua SMCC)

June 28th, 2021

TRUST GOD, NOT MAN OR SELF-EFFORT

 Today’s Scripture

…Cursed is the man who trusts in man and makes flesh his strength… —Jeremiah 17:5

Today I want to show you the difference between a blessed man and a cursed man. The Bible is amazingly clear on how you can be a cursed man and what a cursed life looks like. God’s Word also shows you a picture of a blessed man and how you can be that man.

Let’s start with how one can be a cursed man. Jeremiah 17:5 tells us that when a man “trusts in man” and not in the Lord, he becomes a cursed man. To trust in man also refers to someonenputting confidence in his own good works and efforts, claiming to be “self-made,” choosing to depend on himself and rejecting God’s unmerited favor.

THE MAGIC OF THINKING BIG PART 2 (DAVID J. SCHWARTZ)

CHAPTER 8: MAKE YOUR ATTITUDES YOUR ALLIES

How we think shows through in how we act. Attitudes are mirrors of the mind. They reflect thinking. 

1. Professor Erwin H. Schell, says, "Obviously, there is something more than facilities and competence that makes for accomplishment. I have come to believe that this linkage factor, this catalyst, if you will, can be defined in a single word-attitude. When our attitude is right, our abilities reach a maximum of effectiveness and good results inevitably follow". Attitudes do make the difference.

Right attitudes make you effective in dealing with people, enable you to develop as a leader. Right attitudes win for you in every situation.

2. Grow these three attitudes. Make them your allies in everything you do

• Grow the attitude of I'm activated. 

• Grow the attitude of You are important.

• Grow the attitude of Service first.

3. Here is a three-step procedure that will help you to develop the power of enthusiasm:

~ Dig into it deeper

Keep digging, and you're certain to find some common interests. Keep digging, and you'll eventually discover a fascinating person.

~ In everything you do, life it up

Enthusiasm, or lack of it, shows through in everything you do and say. Life up your smiles. Smile with your eyes. Life up your "thank yous".

When you make a habit of coloring your words with sincere feelings you'll notice a great up take in your ability to hold attention.

~ Broadcast good news

Good news does more than get attention; good news pleases people. Good news develops enthusiasm. Good news even promotes good digestion.

Make this little test regularly to keep you on the right track. Whenever you leave a person, ask yourself, "Does that person honestly feel better because he has talked with me?"

4. Everyone, yes, everyone--has a natural desire to feel he is "somebody". The desire to be important is man's strongest, most compelling nonbiological hunger. Satisfying the craving, the hunger, to be important carries you forward to success. It is basic equipment in your success tool chest.

5. The other person, regardless of his status or his income, is important to you and for two giant, dollars-and-cents reasons:

a. First, people do more for you when you make them feel important.

It pays to make "little" people feel like big people. It pays to make 'big" people feel even bigger. The big thinker always adds value to people by visualizing them at their best. Because he thinks big about people, he gets their best out of them.

b. When you help others foel important, you help yourself feel important too. 

You must feel important to succeed. Helping others to feel important rewards you because it makes you feel more important. Try it and see. Here's how to do it: 

• Practice appreciation

Make it a rule to let others know you appreciate what they do for you. Never, never let anyone feel he is taken for granted. Practice appreciation with honest, personalized compliments.

• Practice calling people by their names

People like to be called by name. It gives everyone a boost to be addressed by name. 

Two special things you must remember. Pronounce the name correctly, and spell it correctly. 

• Don't hog glory, invest it instead

Remember, praise is power. Invest the praise you receive from your superior. Pass praise on down to your subordinates, where it will encourage still greater performance.

6. Money, is a desirable objective. And the seed of money is service. That's why "put service first" is an attitude that creates wealth. Put service first, and money takes care of itself.

7. Always give people more than they expect to get. Each little extra something you do for others is a money seed. Money seeds, of course, grow money. Plant service and harvest money.

CHAPTER 9: THINK RIGHT TOWARD PEOPLE

Here is a basic rule for winning success: Success depends on the support of other people. The only hurdle between you and what you want to be is the support of others. 

Think right toward people, and they will like and support you.

A person is not pulled up to a higher-level job. Rather, he is lifted up.

1. We are lifted to higher levels by those who know us as likable, personable individuals. Every friend you make lifts you just one notch higher. And being likable makes you lighter to lift.

~ Successful people follow a plan for liking people. Do you? People who reach the top don't discuss much their techniques for thinking right toward people. But you would be surprised how many really big people have a clear, definite, even written plan for liking people. 

~ Don't try to buy friendship; it's not for sale. Giving gifts is a wonderful practice if the gift is backed up with genuine sincerity; a liking to give and liking for the person to whom it is given. But without real sincerity; the gift is often regarded as nothing more than a payoff or a bribe.

~ Take the initiative in building friendships-leaders always do. Actually, it's a mark of real leadership to take the lead in getting to know people.

2. Ten-point formula for success:

• Learn to remember names

• Be a comfortable person so there is no strain in being with you. Be an old-shoe kind of individual.

• Acquire the quality of relaxed easy-going so that things do not ruffle you.

• Don't be egotistical. Guard against the impression that you know it all. 

• Cultivate the quality of being interesting so people will get something of value from their association with you. 

• Study to get the "scratchy" elements out of your personality, even those of which you may be unconscious. 

• Sincerely attempt to heal, on an honest basis, every misunderstanding you have had or now have. Drain off your grievances.

• Practice liking people until you learn to do so genuinely. 

• Never miss an opportunity to say a word of congratulation upon anyone's achievement, or express sympathy in sorrow or disappointment. 

• Give spiritual strength to people, and they will give genuine affection to you. 

When you make a pleasant remark to a stranger, you make him feel one degree better. This makes you feel better and helps you relax. Every time you say something pleasant to another person, you compensate yourself. It's like warming up your automobile on a cold mornlng. 

3. Six ways to win friends by exercising just a little initiative: 

a. Introduce yourself to others at every possible opportunity--at parties, meetings, on airplanes, at work, every-where. 

b. Be sure the other person gets your name straight. 

c. Be sure you can pronounce the other person's name the way he pronounces it. 

d. Write down the other person's name, and be mighty sure you have it spelled correctly.

e. Drop a personal note or make a phone call to the new friends you feel you want to know better. Most successful people follow through on new friends with a letter or a phone call.

f. Say pleasant things to strangers. It warms you up and gets you ready for the task ahead.

4. Now, if we let our thinking go uncontrolled, we can find much to dislike in almost anyone. By the same token, if we manage our thinking properly; if we think right toward people, we can find many qualities to like and admire in the same person. View it this way. Your mind is a mental broadcasting station. This broadcasting system transmits messages to you on two equally powerful channels: Channel P (positive) and Channel N (negative). The longer you stay tuned to either Channel P or Channel N, the more interested you become and the harder it is to switch channels. This is true because one  thought, positive or negative, sets off a whole chain reaction of similar thought.

Make a forceful promise to yourself. Refuse to let others prejudice your thinking. Stay tuned to Channel P.

Once you've mastered the technique of thinking only good thoughts about people, greater success is guaranteed.

5. The real test for thinking right toward people comes when things don't go exactly the way we want. How do you think when you're passed up for a promotion? Or when you fail to win an office in a club you belong to? Or when you're criticized for the job you've done? Remember this: how you think when you lose determines how long it will be until you win. 

CHAPTER 10: GET THE ACTION HABIT

1. Every big job--whether it be operating a business, high-level selling, in science, the military; or the government-requires a man who thinks action. Principal executives, looking for a key person, demand answers to questions like "Will he do the job?" "Will he follow through?" "Is he a selfstarter?" "Can he get results, or is he just a talker?" All these questions have one aim: to find out if the fellow is a man of action.

"Nothing comes merely by thinking about it"

2. The test of a successful person is not an ability to eliminate all problems before they arise, but to meet and work out difficulties when they do arise. We must be willing to make an intelligent compromise with perfection lest we wait forever before taking action. It's still good advice to cross bridges as we come to them.

A good idea if not acted upon produces terrible psychological pain. But a good idea acted upon brings enormous mental satisfaction.

3. Got a good idea? Then do something about it:

~ Use action to cure fear and gain confidence

Action feeds and strengthens confidence; inaction in all forms feeds fear.

You get your mind in gear to make it produce for you. 

4. People who get things done in this world don't wait for the spirit to move them; they move the spirit. Try these two exercises: 

• Use the mechanical way to accomplish simple but sometimes unpleasant business and household chores

• Next, use the mechanical way to create ideas, map out plans, solve problems, and do other work that requires top mental performance

Get the "speak up" habit. Each time you speak up, you strengthen yourself. Come forward with your constructive ideas.

5. Here are two special exercises for developing the initiative habit: 

a. Be a crusader. When you see something that you believe ought to be done, pick up the ball and run

b. Be a volunteer. 

It's natural to want to belong, to be accepted, to have group approval. But ask yourself, "Which group do I want to have accept me: the group that laughs because it is secretly jealous or the group that is making progress by doing things?" 

The right choice is obvious.

People place confidence in the fellow who acts. They naturally assume he knows what he is doing. 

CHAPTER 11: HOW TO TURN DEFEAT INTO VICTORY

We can turn setbacks into victories. Find the lesson, apply it, and then look back on defeat and smile.

Defeat is only a state of mind, and nothing more.

1. Condition yourself for success this way. Remind yourself that you want to be as nearly perfect as is humanly possible. Be objective. Put yourself in a glass tube and look at yourself as a disinterested third party would look at the situation. See if you have a weakness that you've never noticed before. If you have, take action to correct it. Many people become so accustomed to themselves that they fail to see ways for improvement.

2. Being self-critical is constructive. It helps you to build the personal strength and efficiency needed for success. Blaming others is destructive. You gain absolutely nothing from "proving" that someone else is wrong. Be constructively self-critical. Don't run away from inadequacies. Be like the real professionals. They seek out their faults and weaknesses, then correct them. That's what makes them professionals. 

Persisting in one way is not a guarantee of victory. But persistence blended with experimentation does guarantee success.

3. Here are two suggestions for developing greater power to experiment, the ingredient, that, when blended with persistence, gets results:

• Tell yourself, "There IS a way"

Believe instead, "There is a way to solve this problem," and positive thoughts rush into your mind to help you find a solution. It's believing there is a way that is important.

• Back off and start afresh

When you hit a snag, don't throw up the whole project. Instead, back off, get mentally refreshed. Try something as simple as playing some music or taking a walk or a short nap. Then, when you tackle it again, the solution often comes almost before you know it.

4. Remember, you see in any situation what you expect to see. See the good side and conquer defeat. All things do work together for good if you'll just develop clear vision.

The difference between success and failure is found in one's attitudes toward setbacks, handicaps, discouragements, and other disappointing situations.

5. Five guideposts to help you turn defeat into victory are:

~ Study setbacks to pave your way to success. When you lose, learn, and then go on to win next time

~ Have the courage to be your own constructive critic. Seek out your faults and weaknesses and then correct them. This  makes you a professional.

~ Stop blaming luck. Research each setback. Find out what went wrong. Remember, blaming luck never got anyone where he wanted to go. 

~ Blend persistence with experimentation. Stay with your goal but don't beat your head against a stone wall. Try new approaches. Experiment. 

~ Remember, there is a good side in every situation. Find it. See the good side and whip discouragement.

CHAPTER 12: USE GOALS TO HELP YOU GROW

1. A goal is an objective, a purpose. A goal is more than a dream; it's a dream being acted upon. A goal is more than a hazy "Oh, I wish  I could". A goal is a clear ''This is what I'm working toward". NothIng happens, no forward steps are taken, until a goal is  established. 

Goals are as essential to success as air is to life. No one ever stumbles into success without a goal. No one ever lives without air. Get a clear fix on where you want to go.

The important thIng is not where you were or where you are but where you want to get.

You must form an image now of the person you want to be ten years from now if you are to become that image.  Without goals we cannot grow. 

2. Here are two steps that will help:

• First, visualize your future in terms of three departments: work, home, and social. Dividing your life this way keeps you from becoming confused, prevents conflicts, helps you look at the whole picture.

• Second, demand of yourself clear, precise answers to these questions: What do I want to accomplish with my life? What do I want to be? and What does it take to satisfy me?

Desire, when harnessed, is power. Failure to follow desire, to do what you want to do most, paves the way to mediocrity.

Success requires heart-and-soul effort, and you can put your heart and soul only into something you really desire. 

3. When you surrender to your goal, the goal works itself into your subconscious mind. Your subconscious mind is always in balance. Your conscious mind is not, unless it is in tune with what your subconscious mind is thinking.

The point is this: energy increases, multiplies, when you set a desired goal and resolve to work toward that goal. Goals cure boredom. Goals even cure many chronic ailments. 

4. We do not make one big jump to success. We get there one step at a time. An excellent plan is to set monthly quotas for accomplishment. Examine yourself. Decide what specific things you should do to make yourself more effective. Under each of the major headings make notes of the things you will do in the next thirty days. Then, when the thirty-day period is up, check your progress and build a new thirty-day goal. Always keep working on the "little"' things to get you in shape for the big things.

The biggest and most rewarding kind of investment is self investment, purchasing things that build mental power and proficiency. 

5. Here are two sound self-investments that will pay hand-some profits in the years ahead: 

• Invest in education. Real education, the kind worth investing in, is that which develops and cultivates your mind. How well educated a person is, is measured by how well his mind is developed-in brief, by how well he thinks. 

• Invest in idea starters. Education helps you mold your mind, stretch it, train it to meet new situations and solve problems. Idea starters feed your mind, give you constructive material to think about.

CHAPTER 13: HOW TO THINK LIKE A LEADER

1. These four leadership rules or principles are:

a. Trade minds with the people you want to influence. 

b. Think: What is the human way to handle this?

c. Think progress, believe in progress, push for progress. 

d. Take time out to confer with yourself and develop your supreme thinking power.

2. LEADERSHIP RULE NUMBER 1: TRADE MINDS WITH THE PEOPLE YOU WANT TO INFLUENCE

• Consider the other person's situation. Put yourself in his shoes, so to speak. Remember, his interests, income, intelligence, and background may differ considerably from yours. 

• Now ask yourself, "If I were in his situation, how would I react to this?" (Whatever it is you want him to do).

• Then take the action that would move you if you were the other person.

3. LEADERSHIP RULE NUMBER 2: THINK: WHAT IS THE HUMAN WAY TO HANDLE THIS? 

Here are two ways to use the be-human approach to make you a better leader. First, each time you face a difficult matter involving people, ask yourself, "What is the human way to handle this?" Remember Bob W's formula for helping others correct their mistakes. Avoid sarcasm. Avoid being cynical. Avoid taking people down a peg or two. Avoid putting others in their place. Second, let your action show you put people first. Show interest in your subordinates' off-the-job accomplishments. Treat everyone with dignity. Remind yourself that the primary purpose in life is to enjoy it.

The more interest you show in a person, the more he will produce for you. And his production is what carries you forward to greater and greater success.

4. LEADERSHIP RULE NUMBER 3: THINK PROGRESS, BELIEVE IN PROGRESS, PUSH FOR PROGRESS

There are two special things you can do to develop your progressive outlook: 

~ Think improvement in everything you do. 

~ Think high standards in everything you do.

5. LEADERSHIP RULE NUMBER 4: TAKE TIME OUT TO CONFER WITH YOURSELF AND TAP YOUR SUPREME THINKING POWER

The point is this: the successful person in any field takes time out to confer with himself or herself. Leaders use solitude to put the pieces of a problem together, to work out solutions, to plan, and, in one phrase, to do their superthinking. They discovered that decisions and observations made alone in managed solitude have an uncanny way of being 100 percent right! 

Resolve now to set aside some time each day (at least thirty minutes) to be completely by yourself. The important thing is to select a time when your mind is fresh and when you can be free from distractions.

Remember, the main job of the leader is thinking. And the best preparation for leadership is thinking. Spend some time in 

managed solitude every day and think yourself to success.

A wise man will be master of his mind, a fool will be its slave (Publilius Syrus).

THE MAGIC OF THINKING BIG PART 1 (DAVID J. SCHWARTZ)

PREFACE

1. Success is determined not so much by the size of one’s brain as it is by the size of one’s thinking. This was an intriguing thought. Case history after case history proved that the size of bank accounts, the size of happiness accounts, and the size of one’s general satisfaction account is dependent on the size of one’s thinking. There is magic in thinking big.

2. "If Thinking Big accomplishes so much, why doesn't everyone think that way?" All of us, more than we recognize, are products of the thinking around us. And much of this thinking is little, not big. All around you is an environment that is trying  to tug you, trying to pull you down Second Class Street.

3. And who hasn't heard the statement that "Success, isn't worth the price," as if you have to sell your soul, your family life, your conscience, your set of values to reach the top. But, in truth, success doesn't demand a price. Every step forward pays a dividend.

4. How do we know the master thinkers were right? Fair questions. The proof comes from the lives of the select people around us who, through winning success, achievement, and happiness, prove that thinking big does work magic. The simple steps we have set down here are not untested theories. They are not one man’s guesses and opinions. They are proven approaches to life’s situations, and they are universally applicable steps that work and work like magic.

There is nothing either good or bad except that thinking makes it so (Shakespeare)

5. Think Big and you’ll live big. You’ll live big in happiness. You’ll live big in accomplishment. Big in income. Big in friends. Big in respect. 

Life is too short to be little (Disraeli)

ONE: BELIEVE YOU CAN SUCCEED AND YOU WILL

1. Success men as many wonderful, positive things. Success means personal prosperity: a fine home, vacations, travel, new things, financial security, giving your children maximum advantages. Success means winning admiration, leadership, being looked up to by people in your business and social life. Success means freedom: freedom from worries, fears, frustrations, and failure. Success means self-respect, continually finding more real happiness and satisfaction from life, being able to do more for those who depend on you. Success means winning. Success--achievement--is the goal of life!

2. Some of the most practical success-building wisdom is found in that biblical quotation stating that faith can move mountains. Believe, really believe, you can move a mountain, and you can. Belief works this way. Belief, the "I'm-positive-I-can" attitude, generates the power, skill, and energy needed to do. When you believe I-can-do-it, the how-to-do-it develops.

The how-to-do-it always comes to the person who believes he can do it.

3. Belief, strong belief, triggers the mind to figure ways and means and how-to. And believing you can succeed makes others place confidence in you. Those who believe they can move mountains, do, Those who believe they can't, cannot. Belief triggers the power to do. Belief in success is the one basic, absolutely essential ingredient of successful people. 

The "Okay-I'll-give-it-a-try-but-I-don't-think-it-will-work" attitude produces failures.

4. Disbelief is negative power. When the mind disbelieves or doubts, the mind attracts "reasons" to support the disbelief. Doubt, disbelief, the subconscious will to fail, the not really wanting to succeed, is responsible for most failures. Think doubt and fail. Think victory and succeed.

5. Look at it this way. Belief is the thermostat that regulates what we accomplish in life. A person is a product of his own thoughts. Believe Big. Adjust your thermostat forward. Launch your success offensive with honest, sincere belief that you can succeed. Believe big and grow big.

Believe in yourself, and good things do start happening.

6. Your mind is a "thought factory." It's a busy factory, producing countless thoughts in one day. Production in your thought factory is under the charge of two foremen, one of whom we will call Mr. Triumph and the other Mr. Defeat. Both Mr. Triumph and Mr. Defeat are intensely obedient. They snap to attention immediately. All you need do to signal either foreman is to give the slightest mental beck and call. If the signal is positive, Mr. Triumph will step forward and go to work.  Likewise, a negative signal brings Mr. Defeat forward.

7. The only wise thing to do is fire Mr. Defeat. You don't need him. You don't want him around telling you that you can't, you're not up to it, you'll fail, and so on. Mr. Defeat won't help. You get where you want to go, so boot him out. Use Mr. Triumph 100 percent of the time. When any thought enters your mind, ask Mr. Triumph to go to work for you. He'll show you how you can succeed.

8. Those who convert opportunity into reward will be those wise people who learn how to think themselves to success. Walk in. The door to success is open wider than ever before. Put yourself on record now that you are going to join that select group that is getting what it wants from life. Here is the first step toward success. It's a basic step. It can't be avoided. Step One: Believe in yourself, believe you can succeed. 

HOW TO DEVELOP THE POWER OF BELIEF:

• Think success, don't think failure

Thinking success conditions your mind to create plans that produce success. Thinking failure does the excact opposite.

• Remind yourself regularly that you are better than you think you are

Success does not require a superintellect. Successful people are just ordinary folks who have developed belief in themselves and what they do. Never-yes, never-sell yourself short. 

• Believe Big

The size of your success is determined by the size of your belief. Big ideas and big plans are often easier--certainly no more difficult--than small ideas and small plans.

9. "We need from every man who aspires to leadership--for himself and his company--a determination to undertake a personal program of self-development". It must provide content, the what-to-do. Second, it must supply a method, the how-to-do-it. And third, it must meet the acid test; that is, get results.

10. This book will be your guide, bur only you can understand yourself. Only you can command yourself to apply this training. Only you can evaluate your progress. Only you can bring about corrective action should you slip a little. In short, you are going to train yourself to achieve bigger and bigger success. As director of your own laboratory.  you will want to do what every scientist does: observe and experiment.

TWO: CURE YOURSELF OF EXCUSITIS, THE FAILURE DESIRE

1. People--as you think yourself to success, that's what you will study, people. You will study people very carefully to discover; then apply, success-rewarding principles to your life. You will discover that excusitis explains the difference between the person who is going places and the fellow who is barely holding his own. You will find that the more successful the individual, the less inclined he is to make excuses.

Persons with mediocre accomplishments are quick to explain why they haven't, why they don't, why they can't, and why they aren't.

2. Like any disease, excusitis gets worse if it isn't treated properly. A victim of this thought disease goes through this mental process: "I'm not doing as well as I should. What can I use as an alibi that will help me save face? Let's see: poor health? lack of education? too old? too young? bad luck? personal misfortune? wife? the way my family brought me up?" Once the victim of this failure disease has selected a "good" excuse, he sticks with it. Then he relies on the excuse to explain to himself and others why he is not going forward.

3. Four most common forms of excusitis:

• "But my health isn't good"

The right  attitude and one arm will beat the wrong attitude and two arms every time.

• "But you've got to have brains to succeed" 

The thinking that guides your intelligence is much more important than how much intelligence you may have. 

Ask yourself, "Am I using my mental ability  to make history, or am I using it merely to record history made by others?"

• "It's No Use. I'm Too Old (or Too Young)"

When you lick age excusitis, the natural result is to gain the optimism of youth and feel of youth. When you beat down your fears of age limitations, you add years to your life as well as success.

• "But My Case Is Different; I Attract Bad Luck"

People who rise to the top in any occupation-business management, selling, law, engineering, acting, or what have you--get there because they have superior attitudes and use their good sense in applied hard work.

Conquer Luck Excusitis in Two Ways:

~ Accept the law of cause and effect. Take a second look at what appears to be someone's "good luck." You'll find that not luck but preparation, planning, and success-producing thinking preceded his good fortune. Take a second look at what appears to be someone's 'bad luck." Look, and you'll discover certain specific reasons. 

~ Don't be a wishful thinker. Don't waste your mental muscles dreaming of an effortless way to win success. We don't become successful simply through luck. Success comes  from doing those things and mastering those principles that produce success.

 

CHAPTER 3: BUILD CONFIDENCE AND DESTROY FEAR

1. Yes, fear is real. And we must recognize it exists before we can conquer it. Most fear today is psychological. Worry, tension, embarrassment, panic all stem from mismanaged, negative imagination. But simply knowing the breeding ground of fear doesn't cure fear. If a physician discovers you have an infection in some part of your body, he doesn't stop there. He proceeds with treatment to cure the infection. 

2. Fear of all kinds and sizes is a form of psychological infection. We can cure a mental infection the same way we cure a  body infection-with specific, proved treatments. First, though, as part of your pretreatment preparation, condition yourself with this fact: all confidence is acquired,  developed. No one is born with confidence. Those people you know who radiate confidence, who have conquered worry, who are at ease everywhere and all the time, acquired their confidence, every bit of it. You can, too. 

Action cures fear. Indecision, postponement, on the other hand, fertilize fear.

Remember, it's ten times easier for a man with a job to get another job than it is for someone unemployed to connect.

3. When we face tough problems, we stay mired in the mud until we take action. Hope is a start. But hope needs action to win victories. Put the action principle to work. Next time you experience big fear or little fear, steady yourself. Then search for an answer to this question: What kind of action can I take to conquer my fear? Isolate your fear. Then take appropriate action.

4. Much lack of self-confidence can be traced directly to a mismanaged memory. Your brain is very much like a bank. Every day you make thought deposits in your "mind bank". These thought deposits grow and become your memory. When you settle down to think or when you face a problem, in effect you say to your memory bank, ''What do I already know about this?" Your memory bank automatically answers and supplies you with bits of information relating to this situation that you deposited on previous occasions. Your memory; then, is the basic supplier of raw material for your new thought.

5. Two specific things to do to build confidence through efficient management of your memory bank:

• Deposit only positive thoughts in your memory bank

Count your blessings. Recall the many good things you have to be thankful for. Go over the reasons why you are glad to be alive. 

• Withdraw only positive thoughts from your memory bank 

Your mind wants you to forget the unpleasant. If you will just cooperate, unpleasant memories will gradually shrivel and the teller in your memory bank will cancel them out. 

Here is a psychological principle that is worth reading over twenty-five times. Read it until it absolutely saturates you: To think confidently, act confidently.

6. The great psychologist Dr. George W Crane said in his famous book Applied Psychology, "Remember, motions are the precursors of emotions. You can't control the latter directly but only through your choice of motions or actions .... To avoid this all too common tragedy (marital difficulties and misunderstandings) become aware of the true psychological facts. Go through the proper motions each day and you'll soon begin to feel the corresponding emotions!

7. Below are five confidence-building exercises, read these guides carefully. Then make a conscious effort to practice them and build your confidence. 

~ Be a front seater

Sitting up front builds confidence. Practice it. From now on make it a rule to sit as close to the front as you can. Sure, you may be a little more conspicuous in the front, but remember, there is nothing inconspicuous about success.

~ Practice making eye contact

Make your eyes work for you. Aim them right at the other person's eyes. It not only gives you confidence, it wins you confidence, too. 

~ Walk 25 percent faster

Psychologists tell us you can actually change your attitudes by changing your posture and speed of movement. Watch, and you discover that body action is the result of mind action. Throw your shoulders back, lift up your head, move ahead just a little faster, and feel self-confidence grow. Just try and see .

~ Practice speaking up

The more you speak up, the more you add to your confidence, and the easier it is to speak up the next time. Speak up. It's a confidence building vitamin.

~ Smile big

A big smile gives you confidence. A big smile beats fear; rolls away worry, defeats despondency. And a real smile does more than cure just your ill feeling. A real smile melts away the opposition of others.

CHAPTER 4: HOW TO THINK BIG

1. The tendency for so many people to think small means there is much less competition than you think for a very rewarding career.  Where success is concerned, people are not measured in inches or pounds or college degrees, or family background; they are measured by the size of their thinking. How big we think determines the size of our accomplishments. 

It's well to know our inabilities, for this shows us areas in which we can improve. But if we know only our negative characteristics, we're in a mess. Our value is small. 

2. Here is an exercise to help you measure your true size:

~ Determine your five chief assets. Invite some objective friend to help--some intelligent person who will give you an honest opinion. (Examples of assets frequently listed are education, experience, technical skills, appearance, well-adjusted home life, attitudes, personality, initiative).

~ Next, under each asset, write the names of three persons you know who have achieved large success but who do not have this asset to as great a degree as you. 

There is only one conclusion you can honestly reach: You're bigger than you think. So fit your thinking to your true size. Think  as big as you really are! Never, never, never sell yourself short!

3. Here is something very basic: We do not think ill words and phrases. We think only in pictures and or images. Words are the raw materials of thought. When spoken or read, that amazing instrument, the mind, automatically converts words and phrases into mind pictures. The point is this: Big thinkers are specialists in creating positive, forward-looking, optimistic pictures in their own minds and in the minds of others. To think big, we must lise words and phrases that produce big, positive mental images.

4. Four ways to develop the big thinker's vocabulary:

• Use big, positive, cheerful words and phrases to describe how you feel. Say you feel wonderful at every possible opportunity, and you will begin to feel wonderful-and l bigger, too. Become known as a person who always feels great. It wins friends. 

• Use bright, cheerful, favorable words and phrases to describe other people. Make it a rule to have a big, positive word for all your friends and associates. Use positive language to encourage others. Compliment people personally at every opportunity.

• Use positive words to outline plans to others. When people hear something like this: "Here is some good news. We face a genuine opportunity... " their minds start to sparkle. Promise victory and watch eyes light up. Promise victory and win support. Build castles, don't dig graves! 

Look at things not as they are, but as they can be. Visualization adds value to everything. A big thinker always visualizes what can be done in the future. He isn't stuck with the present.

5. Remember! It pays in every way to think big!

• Don't sell yourself short. Conquer the crime of self-deprecation. Concentrate on your assets. You're better than you think you are.

• Use the big thinker's vocabulary. Use big. bright, cheerful words. Use words that promise victory; hope, happiness, pleasure; avoid words that create unpleasant images of failure, defeat, grief

• Stretch your vision: See what can be, not just what is. Practice adding value to things, to people, and to yourself.

• Get the big view of your job. Think, really think your present job is important. That next promotion depends mostly on how you think toward your present job. 

• Think above trivial things. Focus your attention on big objectives. Before getting involved in a petty matter, ask yourself, "Is it really important?"

CHAPTER 5: HOW TO THINK AND DREAM CREATIVELY

1. What we can do to develop and strengthen our creative thinking ability:

a. Believe it can be done. Here is a basic truth: To do anything, we must first believe it can be done. Believing something can be done sets the mind in motion to find a way to do it.

WHEN YOU BELIEVE, YOUR MIND FINDS WAYS TO DO. 

This experiment has just one point: When you believe something is impossible, your mind goes to work for you to prove why. But when you believe, really believe, something cau be done, your mind goes to work for you and helps you find the ways to do it. 

b. Your mind will create a way if you let it. Where there's a will, there is a way.

c. Believe it can be done. That's basic to creative thinking. Here are suggestions to help you develop creative power through belief:

• Eliminate the word impossible from your thinking and speaking vocabularies. Impossible is a failure word. The thought "It's impossible': sets off a chain reaction of other thoughts to prove you're right.

• Think of something special you've been wanting to do but felt you couldn't. Now make a list of reasons why you can do it.

Nothing grows in ice. If we let tradition freeze our minds, new ideas can't sprout.

2. Three ways to fight traditional ways:

~ Become receptive to ideas. Welcome new ideas. Destroy these thought repellents: "Won't work," "Can't be done," "It's useless," and "It's stupid".

~ Be an experimental person. Break up fIxed routines. Expose yourself to new restaurants, new books, new theaters, new friends; take a different route to work someday, take a different vacation this year, do something new and different this weekend.

~ Be progressive, not regressive. Not "That's the way we did it where I used to work, so we ought to do it that way here" but "How can we do it better than we did it where I used to work?" 

Capacity is a state of mind. How much we can do depends on how much we think we can do. When you really believe you can do more, your mind thinks creatively and shows you the way. 

3. Convinced it pays to do more and better? Then try this two-step procedure: 

• Eagerly accept the opportunity to do more. It's a compliment to be asked to take on a new responsibility. Accepting greater responsibility on the job makes you stand out and shows that you're more valuable.

• Next, concentrate on "How can I do more?" Creative answers will come.

Big people monopolize the listening. 

Small people monopolize the talking. 

4. Try this three-stage program to strengthen your creativity through asking and listening:

• Encourage others to talk, and you win a double-barreled victory: your mind soaks up raw material that you can use to produce creative thought, and you win friends

• Test your own views in the form of questions. Let other people help you smooth and polish your ideas

• Concentrate on what the other person says. Evaluate it. That's how you collect mind food. 

5. Two ways to get mental stimulation you can incorporate into your pattern of life:

a. First, join and meet regularly with at least one professional group that provides stimulation in your own occupational area. Rub shoulders-and minds-with other success-oriented people.

b. Second, join and participate in at least one group outside your occupational interests. Association with people who have different job interests broadens your thinking and helps you to see the big picture. You'll be surprised how mixing regularly with people outside your occupational area will stimulate your on-the-job thinking.

Ideas are fruits of your thinking. But they've got to be harnessed and put to work to have value.

6. Use these three ways to harness and develop your ideas: 

~ Don't let ideas escape. Write them down.

~ Next, review your ideas. File these ideas in an active file and then examine your storehouse of ideas regularly. 

~ Cultivate and fertilize your idea. Now make your idea grow. Think about it. Tie the idea to related ideas. Then, when the time is. ripe, put it to work for yourself, your job, your future.

7. Use these tools and think creatively:

• Believe it tan be done. When you believe something can be done, your mind will find the ways to do it. Believing a solution paves the way to solution. Eliminate "impossible," 'won't work," "can't do," "no use trying" from your thinking and speaking vocabulalies.

• Don't let tradition paralyze your mind. Be receptive to new ideas. Be experimental. Try new approaches. Be progressive in everything you do.

• Ask yourself daily, "How can I do better?" There is no limit to self improvement. When you ask yourself, "How can I do better?" sound answers will appear. Try it and see.

• Ask yourself, "How can I do more?" The success combination in business is: Do what you do better (improve the quality ofnyour output), and: Do more of what you do (increase the quantity of your output). 

• Practice asking and listening. Ask and listen, and you'll obtain raw material for reaching sound decisions.

• Stretch your mind. Get stimulated. Associate with people who can help you think of new ideas, new ways of doing things. Mix with people of different occupational and social interests.

CHAPTER 6: YOU ARE WHAT YOU THINK YOU ARE

How you think determines how you act. How you act in turn determines: How others react to you.

It costs so little to be neat. Take the slogan literally. Interpret it to say: Dress right; it always pays. Remember: look important because it helps you to think important.

1. Your appearance talks to you; but it also talks to others. It helps determine what others think of you. In theory, it's pleasant to hear that people should look at a man's intellect, not his clothes. But don't be misled. People do evaluate you on the basis of your appearance. Your appearance is the first basis for evaluation other people have. And first impressions last, out of all proportion to the time it takes to form them.

The point is: the better you are packaged, the more public acceptance you will receive.

2. Pay twice as much and buy half as many. Commit this to memory. Then practice it. Apply it to hats, suits, shoes, socks, coats--everything you wear. Insofar as appearance is concerned, quality is far more important than quantity. 

Your appearance talks to you and it talks to others. Make certain it says, "Here is a person who has self-respect. He's important. Treat him that way". You owe it to others-but, more important, you owe it to yourself--to look your best. 

There's a story often told about the job attitudes of three brick-layers. When asked, "What are you doing?" the first bricklayer replied, "Laying brick". The second answered, "Making $9.30 an hour". And the third said, "Me? Why, I'm building the world's greatest cathedral". Job thinking tells a lot about a person and his potential for larger responsibility.

3. Think instead, I am important. I do have what it takes. I am a first-class performer. My work is important. Think this way, and you're headed straight to success. The key twinning what you want lies in thinking positively toward yourself. The only real basis other people have for judging your abilities is your actions. And your actions are controlled by your thoughts. You are what you think you are. 

A person who thinks his job is important 

Receives mental signals on how to do his job better; 

And a better job means 

More promotions, more money, more prestige, more happiness. 

4. Practice uplifting self-praise. Don't practice belittling self-punishment. You are what you think you are. Think more of yourself and there is more of you.

5. Here's how to build your "sell-yourself to-yourself" commercial:

• First, select your assets, your points of superiority. Ask yourself, ''What are my best qualities?" Don't be shy in describing yourself. 

• Next, put these points down on paper in your own words. Write your commercial to you. Talk to yourself. Be very direct. Don't think of anyone but you as you say your commercial. 

• Third, practice your commercial out loud in private at least once a day. It helps a lot to do this before a mirror. Put your body into it. Repeat your commercial forcefully with determination. Make your blood travel faster through your body. Get yourself warmed up.

• Fourth, read your commercial silently several times every day. Read it before you tackle anything that demands courage. Read it every time you feel let down. Keep your commercial handy at all times-then use it.

CHAPTER 7: MANAGE YOUR ENVIRONMENT: GO FIRST CLASS

1. Your mind is an amazing mechanism. When your mind works one way, it can carry you forward to outstanding success. But the same mind operating in a different manner can produce a total failure. The mind is the most delicate, most sensitive instrument in all creation. The mind is what the mind is fed. Mind food is your environment-all the countless things that influence your conscious and subconscious thought. The kind of mind food we consume determines our habits, attitudes, personality.

You are a product of your environment. Environment shapes us, makes us think the way we do. More important, the size of your thinking, your goals, your attitudes, your very personality is formed by your environment.

2. The number one obstacle on the road to high-level success is the feeling that major accomplishment is beyond reach. This attitude stems from many, many suppressive forces that direct our thinking toward mediocre levels. As a result of being bombarded with the "you-can't-get-ahead-so-don't-bother-to-try" propaganda, most people you know can be classified into three groups: 

• First group: Those who surrendered completely

You can easily spot these people because they go to great lengths to rationalize their status and explain how "happy" they really are. This group is, in reality, just the other extreme of the discontented job switcher searching for opportunity. 

• Second group: Those who surrendered partially

They rationalize, "We're earning more than the average and we live better than the average. Why should we knock ourselves out?" Actually, this group has developed a set of fears: fear of failure, fear of social disapproval, fear of insecurity, fear of losing what they already have.

• Third group: Those who never surrender

These people live and breathe success. This group is the happiest because it accomplishes the most. These people find life stimulating, rewarding, worthwhile. These people look forward to each new day, each new encounter with other people, as adventures to be lived fully. 

Remember: people who tell you it cannot be done almost always are unsuccessful people, are strictly average or mediocre at best in terms of accomplishment. The opinions' of these people can be poison.

3. Develop a defense against people who want to convince you that you can't do it. Accept negative advice only as a challenge to prove that you can do it.

How we think is directly affected by the group we're in. Be sure you're in the flock that thinks right.

4. Here are a few simple "do's" to help make your social environment first class:

~ Do circulate in new groups. Restricting your social environment to the same small group produces boredom, dullness, dissatisfaction; equally important, remember that your success-building program requires that you become an expert in understanding people.

Make new friends, join new organizations, enlarge your social orbit. Then too, variety in people, like variety in anything else, adds spice to life and gives it a broader dimension. It's good mind food.

~ Do select friends who have views different from your own. Associate with opposites. But just be sure they are persons with real potential.

~ Do select friends who stand above petty, unimportant things. Guard your psychological environment. Select friends who are interested in positive things, friends who really do want to see you succeed. Find friends who breathe encouragement into your plans and ideals.

5. Conversation is a big part of our psychological environment. Some conversation is healthy. It encourages you. It make you feel like you're taking a walk in the warm sunshine of a spring day. Some conversation makes you feel like a winner.  But other conversation is more like walking through a poisonous, radioactive cloud. It chokes you. It makes you feel ill. It turns you into a loser.

Talk about people? Yes, but stay on the positive side. Let's make one point clear: Not all conversation is gossip. Bull sessions, shop talk, and just 'batting the breeze" are necessary at times. They serve a good purpose when they are constructive.

People rate you for quality. often subconsciously perhaps. Develop an instinct for quality. It pays. And it costs no more, often costs less, than second class.

JANGAN ADA LAGI KATA "SEANDAINYA"

Semalem waktu nonton film "From survivor to healer" eps 24-25, dimana seorang pasien meninggal karena bunuh diri lalu psychiatrist-nya kepikiran en sedih, aku paham kenapa aku diijinkan ga pernah ambil jurusan psikologi. Semua yang kualami saat ini mungkin memang bukan yang the best, aku ada di bidang yang ga aku sukai tapi aku mampu handle. Emang Tuhan tau yang terbaik bagiku sehingga menaruhku di posisiku sekarang ini. 

Aku sadar, di umur 31 ini pun, masih banyak area di hidupku yang masih perlu dibereskan serta dipulihkan. Aku jadi berpikir, kalo dulu aku kuliah psikologi, mungkin aja aku bisa lebih awal menyembuhkan luka batinku, tapi bisa juga aku malah makin ga karuan karena belom cukup dewasa untuk menerima semua penyebab luka batinku di masa lalu. Emang dilema kok soal luka batin, di 1 sisi perlu disembuhkan, tapi proses kesembuhan itu juga bukan perkara yang mudah untuk dihadapi.

Sekalipun sepanjang hidupku ini aku banyak konselingin orang sampai mindset mereka berubah en hidupnya jadi lebih baik, mungkin aku emang ga pernah diciptakan untuk jadi seorang psychologist. Kayaknya aku juga ga mampu deh denger cerita tentang luka batin, trauma, atopun kejadian masa lalu banyak orang. Denger cerita buruk dan berusaha memahami posisi seseorang pun terkadang juga bisa melukai kita.

Aku banyak belajar dari film ini, bahwa masalah kejiwaan itu bukan perkara mudah untuk dihadapi, kadang psychologist atau psychiatrist aja juga bisa kena dampak mental dari pasiennya. Aku jadi paham bahwa beberapa kali aku ngalami stress en beban mental abis konselingi temen2 itu ternyata hal yang wajar. Aku menyadari bahwa semua hal yang kujalani selama ini adalah rencana Tuhan untuk memulihkanku secara bertahap. Walopun keliatannya pelan, tapi semua itu tepat dengan yang kubutuhkan dan tingkat kesiapanku. 

Aku sungguh2 bersyukur dengan semua yang terjadi di hidupku saat ini, Tuhan sudah atur sedemikian rupa dengan hikmat-Nya yang ga terselami. Aku ga mbayangin, kalo aku jadi psychologist ato psychiatrist yang tiap hari kudu berhadapan dengan berbagai macam orang yang kena penyakit mental, apa aku akan bertahan ato malah aku yang ga waras ahahaha. 

Sekali lagi aku belajar percaya sama Tuhan yang mengatur kehidupan ini. Aku ga lagi berpikir "seandainya dulu aku mengambil jalan yang berbeda, mungkin aku lebih enjoy ama hidupku", "seandainya dulu aku kuliah psikologi en jadi konselor ato psychologist, mungkin aku ga akan ngalami anxiety disorder", atau "seandainya dulu aku kuliah psikologi, kemungkinan hari ini aku bisa menolong lebih banyak orang". Aku ga tau apapun yang terbaik bagiku, hanya Tuhan yang tau dan mengarahkanku kesana. Praise God! 

Jadi, buat kalian2 yang hari ini merasa hidup kalian salah jalan dimana seharusnya dulu ambil langkah berbeda, pleaseeee pikirkan ulang. Terkadang ketika kita salah jalan pun, Tuhan bisa arahkan kita ke rencana lain yang jauh lebih indah daripada yang kita pikirkan. Ga semua hal yang jadi passion kita itu yang terbaik untuk kita jalani. Kadang di balik nyasar atopun salah jalan, justru Tuhan mau menyelamatkan kita dari kesusahan2 yang ga bisa kita tanggung. Bersyukur aja atas apapun yang ada di hidupmu hari ini yaa. Tuhan ga pernah salah.

Tapi bagi kalian yang memang ngerasa salah jalan en udah pertimbangkan baik2 untuk ganti jalur, silakan ambil keputusan disertai dengan doa yaa... Ga ada yang salah dengan kejar passion, tapi ga salah juga dengan menjalani hidup yang ga pernah kita rancangkan. Karena apapun yang di luar rancangan kita, ga pernah ada di luar kendali Tuhan 😁

PREOCCUPIED WITH THE LORD

"You will no longer be preoccupied with having money because you will be preoccupied with the Lord"

Kemaren waktu baca kalimat itu di "100 days of favor", aku jadi ngeh sikap mental apa yang perlu kupunya ketika aku ada di dunia freelance. Selama aku fokus ke closing en komisi, aku bakal stress menghitung hari2 yang makin mendekati akhir bulan en aku belom mencapai target bulanan untuk dapet allowance. 

Tapi ketika aku dipenuhi oleh Tuhan, hadirat-Nya, kasih-Nya, kebaikan-Nya, maka semua kekhawatiran itu sirna. Aku tau bahwa bukan sekedar uang yang kubutuhkan, tapi hadirat Tuhan seutuhnya. Aku paham bahwa selama aku kerja kantoran, aku ga punya banyak waktu en tenaga untuk mencari Dia. Tapi ketika freelance, aku jadi punya banyak waktu untuk bersekutu, baca bible, baca buku rohani, ngobrol sedikit2 dalam berbagai kesempatan. Dan itu membuatku kembali utuh. 

Aku tau bahwa yang bener2 bisa memuaskan hidup ini bukanlah uang, pencapaian, harta, ato prestasi apapun. Tapi hanya Tuhan yang bisa memberikan kepuasan sejati, bahkan berkat2 yang kubutuhkan, terutama rumah baru yang nyaman dan aman dari gangguan orang2 jahat. Aku ga tau gimana mencapainya, tapi aku yakin bersama Tuhan pasti ada mujizat terjadi. 

Aku bener2 ga pengen balik kerja kantoran, terutama setelah ngalami anxiety disorder, en masa pandemi gini. Aku mau ngalami berkat2 Tuhan yang melimpah melalui freelance aja. Lord, please bless me abundantly according to Your kindness. I receive in Jesus' name, amen. 

TANTANGAN DALAM MEMURIDKAN

"Demikianlah bagi orang Yahudi aku menjadi seperti orang Yahudi, supaya aku memenangkan orang-orang Yahudi. Bagi orang-orang yang hidup di bawah hukum Taurat aku menjadi seperti orang yang hidup di bawah hukum Taurat, sekalipun aku sendiri tidak hidup di bawah hukum Taurat, supaya aku dapat memenangkan mereka yang hidup di bawah hukum Taurat. Bagi orang-orang yang tidak hidup di bawah hukum Taurat aku menjadi seperti orang yang tidak hidup di bawah hukum Taurat, sekalipun aku tidak hidup di luar hukum Allah, karena aku hidup di bawah hukum Kristus, supaya aku dapat memenangkan mereka yang tidak hidup di bawah hukum Taurat. Bagi orang-orang yang lemah aku menjadi seperti orang yang lemah, supaya aku dapat menyelamatkan mereka yang lemah. Bagi semua orang aku telah menjadi segala-galanya, supaya aku sedapat mungkin memenangkan beberapa orang dari antara mereka. Segala sesuatu ini aku lakukan karena Injil, supaya aku mendapat bagian dalamnya" (1 Korintus 9:20-23)

Semalem zoom meeting "By your side" en aku sangat diberkati ama materi yang disampaikan ce Paulin. Kami bahas kesulitan2 apa aja yang kami hadapi saat memuridkan orang lain. Ternyata wajar banget kalo pemuridan tuh bukan sesuatu yang mudah, sering bikin kita jengkel, bikin kita ngerasa kok ga berdampak, dsb-nya. Itu tandanya kita bener2 butuh Tuhan dalam memuridkan 😂

Inti dari ayat di atas tuh kita harus menerima orang yang kita muridkan sebagaimana dia adanya, bukan menuntut dia harus begini begitu, bukan menilai orang tersebut udah kenal Tuhan sekian taon seharusnya udah ga lakuin ini itu, bukan membandingkan progress-nya dengan progress kita. Biarkan orang itu menjadi dirinya sendiri, mengalami progress-nya sendiri. Seringkali kita hanya menilai dari apa yang terlihat, dan lupa bahwa Tuhan menilai seseorang secara utuh sampai hal2 yang ga kelihatan. Kita harus fokus sama kedalaman, bukan keluasan. 

Kita harus ingat bahwa "Aku menanam, Apolos menyiram, tetapi Allah yang memberi pertumbuhan" (1 Korintus 3:6).

Seringkali pengalaman seseorang terhadap figur otoritas mempengaruhi hubungannya dengan Bapa di Surga. Kalo kita menilai anak rohani kita ga begitu tertarik pada hubungan dengan Bapa di Surga, kita perlu tau bagaimana background kerohaniannya, apakah dia pernah percaya pada Bapa lalu kecewa, sehingga merasa ga ada gunanya bersekutu dengan Bapa; atau ada background hubungan yang ga baik dengan ortunya di masa kecil. 

Kita juga perlu tau, anak2 rohani kita di level apa: bayi rohani, anak2, remaja, atau dewasa. Jangan karena dia sudah lama bertobat, ke gereja, atau pelayanan, lalu kita nganggep orang itu sudah dewasa rohani; kemudian kita jadi jengkel kalo dia banyak pertanyaan atau berperilaku layaknya anak kecil. Wajar bagi anak2 untuk banyak bertanya, bahkan sekalipun hal2 yang seharusnya sudah dia tahu en sudah berulangkali kita ajarkan. Justru kalo punya anak rohani seperti itu, merupakan kesempatan untuk kita banyak mendekat dengan Tuhan 😊 Oh Tuhan, beri kami kesabaran extra sebagai ortu rohani...

Anak2 yang sudah remaja, relasinya mulai ke orang lain. Selama dia masih anak2, fokusnya adalah dirinya sendiri. 

Secara psikologi, 3 tahun pertama kehidupanlah yang membentuk sifat asli seseorang. Di umur 0-3 tahun, otak kanan yang pertama kali berkembang, sehingga memvisualisasikan sikap, perilaku, cara menghadapi orang lain ketika berbicara, dsb. Saat 3 tahun pertama kehidupan, otak kiri yang mengandung logika belum berkembang, sehingga anak2 belum bisa banyak mengungkapkan kata2, belum bisa menangkap makna dari perilaku orang2 di sekitarnya terutama orangtuanya. Jadi mereka akan menerima semua yang mereka lihat itu sebagai suatu nilai yang dia pegang sampai dewasa. Itulah alasan bahwa sangat layak untuk menggali masa lalu seseorang.

Tuhan menciptakan kita dalam keluarga karena pada dasarnya Ia ingin kita mencicipi bagaimana kasih Bapa surgawi itu melalui ayah kita, bagaimana kelembutan Roh Kudus itu melalui seorang ibu, bagaimana Yesus sebagai yang sulung dari antara saudara melalui kakak adik kita. Namun seringkali keluargalah yang pertama kali menimbulkan luka dalam kehidupan kita. Dan kita tau itulah yang iblis lakukan untuk merusak rencana besar Tuhan, sehingga kita ga bisa mengalami keindahan sebuah keluarga yang menggambarkan surga.

Ketika kita menghadapi anak rohani yang sangat sulit dihadapi, penting untuk meminta Tuhan bukakan orang itu akan jadi apa di masa depan secara spesifik, sehingga kita bisa bertahan menghadapinya. Sesulit apapun anak rohani kita untuk dihadapi, selama dia ga "bangun tembok", "bakar jembatan", atau menolak kita; tetaplah berharap bahwa dia akan mengenal Tuhan melalui hidup kita. 

Bagaimana kita hidup LEBIH PENTING daripada bagaimana kita melayani! 

Kalo kita berhadapan dengan orang yang mati rasa, kita perlu tau mungkin itulah satu2nya cara seseorang untuk menjalani hidup yang begitu berat ketika dia ga berani untuk bunuh diri (bisa karena dididik ga boleh mempermalukan keluarga). Orang mengambil langkah "mati rasa" karena merasa ga ada jalan keluar untuk kehidupannya yang dikelilingi oleh toxic people.

Solusi menghadapi orang yang kehidupannya sangat dramatis karena pengaruh toxic people adalah menerima orang itu apa adanya, bukan mengkoreksi atau menyalahkan perilakunya. Kalo dia merasa diterima, tenang, dan puas; barulah kita bisa masuk ke kehidupannya dan menanamkan nilai2 kebenaran ke dalamnya. Selain itu, perlu doa firman untuk melayani orang tersebut.

***

Dari sesi kali ini, aku belajar buanyak hal tentang pentingnya menggali masa lalu serta menerima seseorang apa adanya ketika memuridkan. Aku sadar bahwa masih banyak pengalaman masa lalu yang mempengaruhi caraku melayani serta memuridkan orang lain. Tapi yang bikin aku lega adalah kata2 validasi dari ce Paulin:

Thanks Jesus buat kepercayaan-Mu untuk kami melayani dan memuridkan orang lain. Thanks karena Engkau menaruh orang2 itu dalam hidup kami, sesulit apapun orang itu untuk dihadapi, apapun background mereka, bagaimanapun sikap en perilaku mereka. Jadikan kami berkat, jadikan kami dewasa sehingga kami menjadi teladan bagi orang2 yang kami muridkan 🙏

MENGASIHI MEREKA YANG "TAK LAYAK" DIKASIHI

Minggu lalu aku meet up ama temen lama, sekalian nemeni dia jaga pameran mobil. Kalo ga salah inget, udah 2 taon ga ketemu, jadinya banyak sharing tentang apa aja yang kami alami sampai di titik ini, terutama pergumulan selama masa pandemi en pandangan hidup kami. And I learned a lot from her. 

Waktu itu dia bahas bahwa dia baru aja minjemi duid ke rekan kerjanya yang notabene bukan wanita baik2, supaya wanita itu bisa bayar biaya kost-nya. Niatnya nolong en jadi berkat, ternyata setelah nyicil 1x dari yang seharusnya 3x, wanita itu ngilang tanpa jejak. Refleks, aku nyeletuk "next time kalo mau minjemi duid ke orang, kudu pake hikmat loh". En dia bilang bahwa dia udah siap kehilangan duid karena tau background wanita itu, en terutama karena dia ngerasa Tuhan menggerakkan hatinya untuk nolong. Trus dia bilang:

"Aku tau dengan uang sebanyak itu aku bisa ngasi makan banyak orang, tapi orang2 miskin itu selalu ada. Kalo kita nolong orang hanya mengandalkan hikmat, ga akan ada yang mau nolong wanita kayak dia. Trus gimana wanita itu bisa melihat kasih Bapa? Kalo aku ga nolong dia, dia bakal pinjem duid ke siapa? Jangan2 dia lari ke orang2 yang ga bener ato terjebak dalam prostitusi".

Seketika aku jadi inget ayat yang akhir2 ini merhema di hatiku, "Apabila kamu mengasihi orang yang mengasihi kamu, apakah upahmu? Bukankah pemungut cukai juga berbuat demikian?" (Matius 5:46). Aku merenungkan obrolan kami malam itu. Kita dipanggil untuk mengasihi, tanpa pilih2 siapa orangnya, bagaimana backgroundnya, apalagi menilai (menghakimi) seseorang berdasarkan "kelayakannya". Jika kita hanya mengasihi orang2 yang kita anggap layak, bagaimana dengan mereka2 yang "ga layak" di mata kita? 

Sadar ato nggak, kita dibentuk en dididik dengan pola pikir seperti ini: "Ga semua orang layak ditolong". "Kalo mau nolong, liat2 orangnya dulu, jangan sampai kita dirugikan ato ditipu". Dengan pola pikir demikian, kita cenderung menghakimi sebelum menolong orang lain. Dan ujung2nya, kita pasti mundur teratur ketika bertemu dengan orang2 yang "ga menguntungkan kita jika kita tolong".

Aku jadi inget kisah tuan yang mencari orang untuk mengurus ladangnya dan memberi upah yang sama yaitu sedinar sehari bagi para pekerja, ga peduli jam berapapun mereka mulai bekerja. Dan hal itu menimbulkan sungut2 dari pekerja yang bekerja dari pagi sampai sore. Aku jadi bener2 ngerti implikasi ayat itu dalam kehidupan nyata, bahwa itulah "ketidakadilan yang adil" menurut Bapa. Dia adalah Bapa yang benar2 murah hati, yang ga memandang seseorang dari kelayakannya, namun dari kacamata anugerah.

Aku menyadari bahwa aku masih sering menghakimi orang "layak dan ga layak" menurut kacamata rohaniku. Aku masih males berhubungan dengan orang2 yang pernah kutolong dengan tulus tapi take me for granted atau mengecewakan bahkan memanfaatkanku berkali2. Aku tau bahwa area ini harus dibereskan di hatiku, karena siapakah aku yang dengan berani menilai "kelayakan" seseorang?

Jika Tuhan yang kusembah mengajarkan hal yang demikian, sudah sepatutnya aku pun melakukan seperti yang Dia teladankan. Sekalipun jujur aja, di dunia ini banyak banget manusia2 yang ga tau diri, yang memfitnah setelah ditolong, yang merendahkan bahkan menjatuhkan saat ditolong. Terkadang kita memang perlu "cerdik seperti ular dan tulus seperti merpati", namun yang menjadi filternya adalah ketika kasih Bapa menggerakkan hati, aku mau taat sepenuhnya. Lead me oh, Lord. 

Thanks Icha yang udah mengajarkan ayat tersebut dengan teladan nyata. I'm blessed to meet you that day 😊

MELIBATKAN TUHAN

Beberapa hari lalu aku denger sebuah diskusi di radio tentang "Melibatkan Tuhan". Awalnya aku berpikir, melibatkan Tuhan berarti menyertakan Dia dalam segala aspek kehidupan kita, mengenali kehendak-Nya dalam setiap langkah, serta berdoa sebelum mengambil suatu keputusan. Tapi ternyata aku salah... 

Diskusi itu ngasi aku sebuah insight yang baru tentang "Melibatkan Tuhan", yaitu bukan kita meminta Tuhan terlibat dalam rencana kita, tapi kita yang menanyakan kehendak-Nya dalam hidup kita dan berjalan di dalamnya. Simple-nya "apapun yang Tuhan kehendaki, aku mau ikut di dalamnya". Seketika itu juga aku terkesiap. Ga ada rencana pribadi yang harus didoakan, ga ada langkah2 jitu yang harus dipergumulkan, karena kitalah yang "menceburkan diri" dalam kehendak-Nya yang sempurna bagi kita. 

Sejenak aku merenung. Aku tau bahwa keputusanku untuk resign dan menerima tawaran untuk freelance di asuransi ini bukanlah rencanaku sama sekali. Waktu itu aku njedog en berdoa "Aku ga peduli apapun Tuhan, aku mau nurut sama apa yang Tuhan mau. Aku ga tau kemana, dimana, en gimana, tapi aku berserah penuh. Aku percaya Engkau Bapa yang mengasihiku, yang ingin semua yang terbaik bagiku. Aku tunduk pada kehendak-Mu bagiku". And here I am... 

Aku menyadari bahwa ini pertama kalinya setelah sekian waktu, aku berserah penuh sama kehendak Tuhan. Ga ada keinginanku, ga ada harapanku, ga ada egoku. Aku tau bahwa hidupku itu milik-Nya, aku percayakan semua dalam tangan-Nya sekalipun aku ga ngerti en ga tau tentang apapun. Namun, aku tau ketika aku "menceburkan diri" dalam kehendak-Nya, damai sejahtera memenuhiku. Ga ada sedikitpun keraguan untuk menempuh jalan ini, sekalipun aku belum bisa melihat masa depanku. Aku tau bahwa tujuan utamaku saat ini bukan duid, tapi fulfillment. Aku mau memenuhi tujuan penciptaanku, aku mau kejar apa yang jadi panggilan Tuhan atas hidupku. 

Padahal beberapa taon lalu, sepupuku nawarin aku join ke asuransi yang dia geluti sehingga bisa menghasilkan uang puluhan juta setiap minggunya, tapi aku ga bergeming. Sekitar 1,5 taon lalu salah 1 temen nawari join ke asuransi ini dan dia nawari ngajari aku sampai bisa, tapi aku ga kepikiran untuk ambil kesempatan itu. Aku cuma berpikir, segala sesuatu ada waktu yang tepat dan orang yang tepat. Siapa sangka aku mengiyakan tawaran dari orang yang hanya kutemui di webinar setiap minggu, tanpa pernah kenal orangnya secara pribadi. 

Aku ga tau apa yang akan terjadi ke depan, apakah ini pilihan yang tepat untukku, apakah aku akan sukses di bidang ini. Tapi aku tau, ketika aku melepaskan semua keinginanku dan tunduk pada kehendak-Nya, akan ada jalan yang dibukakan. Sukses bukan hanya sekedar uang, namun juga damai sejahtera dan perkenanan Allah, bukan? 

THE SUPREME GIFT (PAULO COELHO)

If I speak in the tongues of men and of angels, but have not love, I am a noisy gong or a clanging cymbal. And if I have prophetic powers, and understand all mysteries and all knowledge, and if I have all faith, so as to remove mountains, but have not love, I am nothing. If I give away all I have, and if I deliver up my body to be burned, but have not love, I gain nothing.

Love is patient and kind; love does not envy or boast; it is not arrogant or rude. It does not insist on its own way; it is not irritable or resentful; it does not rejoice at wrongdoing, but rejoices with the truth. Love bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things.

Love never ends. As for prophecies, they will pass away; as for tongues, they will cease; as for knowledge, it will pass away. For we know in part and we prophesy in part, but when the perfect comes, the partial will pass away. When I was a child, I spoke like a child, I thought like a child, I reasoned like a child. When I became a man, I gave up childish ways. For now we see in a mirror dimly, but then face to face. Now I know in part; then I shall know fully, even as I have been fully known.

So now faith, hope, and love abide, these three; but the greatest of these is love.

1. All of us, at some point, have asked the same question that every generation asks: What is the most important thing in life?

Do we consider Faith to be the most important thing in the world? If so, we are quite wrong.

If we do, at some point, believe that, then we might as well stop believing.

2. This Letter to the Corinthians is not the only document to state that Love is the summum bonum, the highest or supreme good. All the major works in Christianity agree on that point.

Peter says: ‘Above all, hold unfailing your love for one another, since love covers a multitude of sins.’

John goes still further: ‘God is Love.’

In another text of Paul’s, we read: ‘Love is the fulfilling of the Law.’

3. Then Christ said: ‘I will show you a simpler way. If you do one thing, you will do these hundred and ten things, without ever thinking about them. If you love, you will unconsciously fulfill the whole law.’

We can judge for ourselves if this advice works. Take any one of the commandments:

‘Thou shalt have no other gods before Me.’

That is Love.

‘Take not His name in vain.’

Would we dare to speak lightly of someone we love?

‘Remember the Sabbath day to keep it holy.’

Do we not wait longingly for the day when we will meet our beloved in order to devote ourselves to Love? It will be the same if we love God.

Love requires us to obey all of God’s laws.

4. Love, then, is ‘the fulfilling of the Law’. Love is the rule that contains all the other rules. Love is the commandment that justifies all the other commandments. Love is the secret of life. Paul learned this and, in the letter I read from just now, he gave us the best and most important description of the summum bonum – the highest good.

5. Paul compares Love with Prophecy. He compares it with Mysteries. He compares it with Faith. He compares it with Charity.

Why is Love greater than Faith? Because Faith is merely a path that leads us to the Greater Love.

Why is Love greater than Charity? Because Charity is merely one of the ways in which Love manifests itself. And the whole is always greater than its individual parts. Charity is also merely a path, one of the many paths that Love uses to bring us closer to our fellow man.

6. Paul then compares Love with sacrifice and martyrdom. And I say to those who hope one day to work for the good of humanity: If I deliver up my body to be burned, but have not love, I gain nothing. Nothing! You cannot give anything more important than the Love reflected in your own life. A man’s message of Faith lies in the way he lives his life and not in the words he says.

7. Take that same Love with you and the work you do will be fully justified. When you speak about God and the world of the spirit, there can be no more eloquent subject. There is no point in talking about miracles, witnesses of Faith, fine prayers. If you do all that but have not Love, all your efforts will be in vain. You may accomplish everything you set out to accomplish and be prepared to make any sacrifice, but if you give your body to be burned and have not Love, you will have achieved nothing for yourself or for God’s cause.

8. After comparing Love with all those things, Paul– in three short verses– gives an amazing analysis of that Greatest of Gifts. He tells us that Love is made up of many things. 

Like light. We learn at school that if we pick up a prism and allow a ray of light to pass through it, that ray will divide up into seven colours. The colours of the rainbow.

Then Paul takes Love and allows it to pass through the prism of his intellect, dividing it up into its various elements.

He shows us the rainbow of Love, just as a prism reveals to us the rainbow colours of light.

And what are those elements? They are virtues we hear about every day and that we can practise at every moment in our lives.

It is these small things, these simple virtues, that make up the Supreme Gift of Love.

9. Love is made up of nine ingredients:

Patience: Love is patient…

Kindness: …and kind.

Generosity: Love does not envy…

Humility: …or boast; it is not arrogant...

Courtesy: …or rude.

Unselfishness: It does not insist on its own way.

Good temper: It is not irritable…

Guilelessness: or resentful.

Sincerity: It does not rejoice at wrongdoing, but rejoices with the truth.

10. Patience. Kindness. Generosity. Humility. Courtesy. Unselfishness. Good temper. Guilelessness. Sincerity. All these things make up the Supreme Gift, and are there in the soul of whoever wishes to be in the world and close to God. All these gifts are to do with us, with our daily lives, with today and tomorrow, not with eternity.

We hear a lot about loving God.

But Christ talks to us about loving our fellow man.

We seek peace in Heaven.

Christ seeks peace on Earth.

11. Our human search for the answer to our main question -What should I do with my life? - is not some strange thing imposed on us from outside. It is to be found in all civilisations, because it was born along with mankind and is evidence of the breath of the Eternal Spirit in the world. The Supreme Gift reflects that breath. It is not just a Gift in itself, but the words and acts that make up the sum of every ordinary day.

12. Love is patience.

That is how Love normally behaves: it waits calmly, unhurriedly, knowing that at some point, it will show itself.

Love is ready to do its work at the right moment, but it waits calmly and meekly.

Love is patient. It can bear all things.

It believes all things.

It hopes for all things.

Because Love understands.

12. Kindness. Active love.

Have you ever noticed how much of Christ’s time in the world was spent doing kind deeds, how large a part of His short time on Earth was spent merely making other people happy.

If you view His life in that way, you will notice that although Christ had much to do, He never forgot to be kind to His fellow man.

There is only one thing greater than happiness, and that is holiness. That may not be within our grasp, but making other people happy is. God gave us that ability and it costs us almost nothing. When you think about it, you will see that it costs us absolutely nothing.

The world really needs that! And it’s so easy to be kind. The effect is immediate and you will be remembered for ever.

And the reward is abundant, for no debt is more honoured than the debt of Love. ‘Love never ends’.

13. Where Love is, so are we, and so is God. Anyone who takes joy in Love, takes joy in their existence as a human being, takes joy in God.

God is Love. Therefore LOVE!

Without distinction, without calculation, without procrastination, without fear that you might suffer: LOVE!

14. We often try to please, but what we need to do is to give pleasure. Give pleasure. Never miss an opportunity to give pleasure, because you will be the first to benefit from that– even if no one knows what you are doing. The world around you will become more contented and things will be easier for you. As Stephen Grellet wrote: ‘I shall pass through this world but once. Any good therefore that I can do or any kindness that I can show to any human being, let me do it now. Let me not defer or neglect it, for I shall not pass this way again’.

15. Generosity: ‘Love does not envy.’ Envy means love in competition with the Love of others.

Let others love. And try to love still more. Do your part, do your best.

Whenever you want to do a good deed, you will find other people doing the same thing, sometimes much better than you. Do not envy them. 

Envy is always waiting to destroy everything that other people do, even if they do it better than we do. And the only way to escape envy is to focus all your energies on Love. Instead of envying, we should admire the large, rich, generous soul that does not envy.

16. And having learned all that, we must learn something else: humility. Place a seal on your lips and forget your patience, your kindness, your generosity. Once Love has entered your life and done its beautiful work, sit quietly and say nothing about it.

Love hides even from itself.

Love avoids even self-satisfaction.

Love does not boast; it is not arrogant.

17. The fifth ingredient is something that might seem strange and pointless in this rainbow of Love: courtesy. This is Love among people, Love in society. A lot of people say that courtesy is a superfluous feeling. Not true. Courtesy is Love in little things.

‘Love is not rude.’ You might be the shyest person in the world, the least well prepared for dealing with others, but if you have a reservoir of Love in your heart, you will always behave correctly.

18. Unselfishness. ‘Love does not insist on its own way’. Love does not even seek what is hers by right. One loves because Love is the Greatest Gift, not because it gives us something in return.

Id opus est. That is the task. Love is sufficient unto itself.

‘And do you seek great things for yourself?’ asks the prophet. ‘Seek them not.’ Why?Because there is no greatness in things. Things cannot be great. The only greatness is unselfish Love.

19. The lesson to be found in all spiritual teachings is that there is no happiness in having and getting, only in giving. I repeat: There is no happiness in having and getting, only in giving. True fulfillment, though, lies in giving and serving. ‘Whoever would be first among you,’ said Christ, ‘must be the slave of all.’ He that would be happy should place Love above all else in life. Nothing else matters.

20. The next ingredient is good temper. Love ‘is not provoked’.

We are inclined to view bad temper as a family failing, a personality trait, a matter of temperament, when we should really see it as a character defect. 

What surprises me is that bad temper is often there in the lives of people who consider themselves to be virtuous, and can be a great blot on an otherwise noble, gentle nature. We know a lot of people who are almost perfect, but then, suddenly, they decide that they are right about something and lose their temper. The supposed compatibility of virtue and bad temper is one of the saddest problems afflicting humanity and society.

21. In the eyes of Him who is Love, a sin against Love is a hundred times worse. No vice, be it desire, avarice, lust or drunkenness, is worse than an evil temper.

22. There is no place in the Kingdom for the ill-tempered and intolerant. One such man would make Paradise unbearable for everyone else. Unless he be born again, and leave aside everything he considers untouchable and certain, he cannot, simply cannot, enter the Kingdom of Heaven, because in order to enter the Kingdom of Heaven, he must carry Paradise in his soul.

23. That is the great test of Love: knowing that, however hard we try, we almost never achieve the necessary peace for Love to flourish.

24. God is Love, a Love which, as it penetrates us, sweetens, purifies and transforms everything. It drives out all error, it renews, regenerates and rebuilds the inner man. Will-power alone cannot transform you. Love can.

25. Therefore, let Love in. Remember: this is a matter of life and death. There is no point my standing here and talking about Love if I am incapable of Love myself. ‘Whoever causes one of these little ones who believe in me to sin, it would be better for him to have a great millstone fastened around his neck and to be drowned in the depth of the sea’. That is to say, it is better not to live than not to love.

It is better not to live than not to love.

26. The people who influence and touch us most deeply are those who believe what we say. Suspicion makes people shrivel up. Faced by guilelessness, however, we grow and expand. We find courage and friendship beside those who believe in us. Those who understand us can transform us.

27. It is good to know that there are still people who think no evil, because they know the importance of the good they are doing. Those people grow in the eyes of men and of God. They are unafraid of envy or indifference because Love ‘thinketh no evil’, always looks on the bright side, always looks for the positive in every action. And again, he who loves wins, even though he sought no reward. 

28. To be trusted is to be very close to Love. And we will only achieve that if we trust in other people. The little harm that others can do us because of our guilelessness is as nothing compared to our joy in the face of life. There will no longer be any need to wear heavy armour, bulky shields and dangerous weapons. Guilelessness will protect us.

29. We can only help someone if we trust him. If we respect others, we will recover our self-respect. If we believe that someone can improve and that person feels we consider him to be our equal, he will hear our words and believe he can be a better person.

30. Love ‘does not rejoice at wrongdoing, but rejoices with the truth’. I called this ingredient sincerity. He who loves will love Truth as much as he loves his fellow.man. He will rejoice in the Truth, but not in what he was taught to believe. He will seek the Truth with a humble, unbiased mind and will be contented with what he finds.

31. Real Love does not consist in exposing other people’s weaknesses, but in accepting everything and rejoicing to see that things are better than people said they were.

32. That should be our objective in the world: learning to love. Life offers us endless opportunities to learn how to love. Every man and every woman, every day of their lives, has ample opportunity to give themselves to Love. Life is not a holiday, but an education.

And the most important lesson we can learn is how to love. How to love better.

33. Spiritual growth applies the same laws used by body and soul. If you don’t exercise your arms, you will never develop your biceps. If you don’t exercise your soul, you will never develop strength of character or beauty of spiritual growth. Love is not a brief moment of enthusiasm.

Love is the rich, strong, generous expression of our being– character in its fullest sense. And to build that requires constant practice.

34. Try to see the world as a great education in Love and do not quarrel with your lot in life. Do not complain because of your unending cares and anxieties, your mean surroundings, the small and sordid souls you are obliged to live with. That is God’s way of making you practise.

And do not be alarmed by temptation or surprised because it is always there and never moves away, despite all your efforts and prayers. That is God’s way of putting your soul to work.

35. All these things are teaching you to be patient, humble, generous, unselfish, kind and courteous. Do not push away the Hand that is shaping your image, because that Hand is also showing you your path.

Be assured, you are growing more beautiful with each minute that passes – and although it may not seem like it, difficulties and temptations are God’s tools.

36. Remember Goethe’s words: ‘Talent develops itself in solitude; character in the stream of life.’

Talent develops itself in solitude, through prayer, faith, meditation and seeing the unseen. But character can only grow if we remain in the stream of life. Because it is in the world that we learn to love.

37. I have named a few of the elements of Love as a way of helping us understand God and our fellow man. However, these are only elements. Love can never be defined. Light is more than the sum of its ingredients– it is something that glows and shines in space. And Love is much more than the sum of all its ingredients– it is something living, pulsating, divine.

38. Love is an effect. And only when we know the cause will the effect be produced. 

When we read the Revised Version of the First Epistle of John, we find these words:

‘We love because He first loved us.’

That is what is written: ‘we love’ not ‘we love Him’, as it appeared in the earlier King James version.

‘We love because He first loved us.’ Notice that word because. That is the cause I mentioned. Because He first loved us, the effect– the consequence– is that we love too.

We are all manifestations of Love. We love Him, we love ourselves, we love everyone. That is how it is. Our heart is slowly transformed. Consider the Love that is given to you and you will know how to love.

39. You cannot force yourself– or anyone else– to love. All you can do is look at Love, fall in love with it and copy it.

Love love. Remember the great sacrifice He made and, by loving Him, you will become like Him.

Love begets Love.

40. Remain close to Him who loved us and you will be magnetised by that Love. Anyone who seeks the cause will feel the effect.

41. Love melts any ill or evil in a man’s heart and transforms him into a new creature, patient, humble, generous, gentle, unselfish and sincere. There is no other way of loving, nor is there any mystery to it. We love others, we love ourselves, we love our enemies, because He first loved us.

42. ‘Love,’ Paul insists, ‘never ends.’ Then he gives us another of his marvellous lists. He speaks of matters that were important in his day, things that everyone thought would last, and he shows all of them to be fleeting, temporary, passing away.

43. Paul is implacable: ‘As for prophecies, they will pass away’. The Bible is full of prophecies, but once they were fulfilled, they lost their meaning. They disappeared as prophecies and remained only to feed the faith of devout men.

44. Then Paul speaks about languages: ‘As for tongues, they will cease’. As far as we know, thousands of years have passed since languages first appeared on the face of the Earth. They helped man to survive in a dangerous, hostile world. Where are those languages? They disappeared.

45. Then Paul goes still further and adds: ‘As for knowledge, it will pass away’. Where is the wisdom of the ancients? It has vanished completely. The newspaper that brings us the news in the morning is thrown away each night.

46. ‘For now we see in a mirror dimly, but then face to face. Now I know in part; then I shall know fully’.

Can you tell me anything that is going to last for ever? Paul did not bother to name many things. He did not mention money, fortune, fame; he picked out only the things important in his time, the things to which the best men of the day devoted themselves. And he brushed them peremptorily aside.

Paul had nothing against those things in themselves. He does not speak ill of them. He said only that they would not.last. They were important things, but they were not supreme gifts.

There were things beyond them.

47. That is a favourite argument of the New Testament. John does not say that the world is wrong; he says that ‘it passes away’.

There are many beautiful things in the world, important things that delight and absorb us, but they will not last.

Therefore, do not love the things of the world. Nothing that the world contains is worth the devotion and time of an immortal soul. The immortal soul should give itself to what is immortal.

And the only immortal things are: Faith, Hope and Love.

48. And the only immortal things are: Faith, Hope and Love. Some might say that two of those things also pass away: Faith, when we feel and experience the presence of God, and Hope, when our hopes are fulfilled. What is certain, though, is that Love will last.

49. God, the Eternal God, is Love. Therefore seek out Love, that eternal moment, the only thing that will remain when the human race has reached the end of its days. Love will always be the only coinage accepted in the Universe when all the other coinages of all the nations have become useless and valueless.

If you choose to give yourself to many things, give yourself first to Love, and everything else will follow. Give to each thing its proper value.

50. The Gospels speak to us of a new life, therefore do not offer your fellow man only peace, rest, joy and safety. Instead, tell him how Christ came into the world to give us all a life abundant in Love, and therefore abundant in salvation, a life long enough for us to devote ourselves to learning to Love. That is the only way that the words of the Gospel can make sense and touch body, soul and spirit, and give to each part a goal and  an aim.

51. To love abundantly is to live abundantly. To love for ever is to live for ever. Eternal life is inextricably bound up with Love.

52. Why do we want to live for ever? Because we hope that tomorrow will bring us someone we can love. Because we want to live another day with the person we love beside us. Because we want to find someone who deserves our Love and who, in turn, will know how to love us as we deserve to be loved.

53. Eternal life means to know Love. God is Love. John says: ‘This is life eternal, that they might know Thee the only true God, and Jesus Christ whom Thou hast sent’.

Whatever your belief or faith, first seek out Love. Everything else will follow. Love is eternal, because God is eternal.

54. Love is life. Love never ends and life will not end while there is Love.

That is what Paul is showing us, that, in all created things, Love is present as the Supreme Gift, because Love remains when all other things pass away.

55. No worse fate can befall a man than to live and die alone, unloving and unloved. To love is to be saved. Not to love or be loved is to be damned. And he who takes joy in love already takes joy in God, because God is Love.

56. Love is patient and kind; love does not envy.

Put those ingredients into your life. From then on, everything you do will be eternal. It’s worth spending a little time learning the art of Love. No man becomes a saint in his sleep; he must pray and meditate. In the same way, any improvement, in any direction, requires preparation and care.

57. Address yourselves to living a life that is a full and proper one. If you look back, you will see that the best and most important moments of your life were those in which the spirit of Love was present.

58. Those are the moments that justify my existence. Everything else is transitory. Any other good or virtue is mere illusion. Those small acts of Love that no one noticed, that no one knows about, justify my life. Because Love endures.

59. Matthew gives us a classic description of the Final Judgment: the Son of Man is seated upon a throne and, like a shepherd, is dividing the sheep from the goats.

At that moment, the most important question for a human being to ask will not be: ‘How did I live?’ but ‘How did I love?’

The final test of every search for salvation will be Love. What we did or believed or achieved will be of no account.

60. Not loving means saying that God never inspired our thoughts, our lives, and that we never came close enough to Him to be touched by His exuberant Love. It means: ‘I lived for myself, I thought for myself, for myself and none beside, just as if Jesus had never lived, as if He had never died’.

61. No other charge – apart from a lack of Love – will be laid upon us.

Be quite sure, the words we will hear on that day will come not from theology, not from the saints, not from the churches.

They will come from the hungry and from the poor.

They will come not from creeds and doctrines.

They will come from the naked and the homeless.

They will come not from Bibles and books of prayer.

They will come from the glasses of water that we gave or did not give.

62. Who is Christ?

He who fed the poor, clothed the naked and visited the sick.

Where is Christ?

‘Whoever receives a little child in my name receives me’.

And who is with Christ?

‘Whoever loves has been born of God’.

THE SUPREME GIFT

HENRY DRUMMOND

FREELY ADAPTED BY PAULO COELHO