WELCOME1. Mirror work—looking deeply into your eyes and repeating affirmations—is the most effective method I’ve found for learning to love yourself and see the world as a safe and loving place. These affirmations are messages to your subconscious that establish habitual ways of thinking and behaving. Positive affirmations plant healing thoughts and ideas that support you in developing self-confidence and self-esteem, and creating peace of mind and inner joy.
2. The most powerful affirmations are those you say out loud when you are in front of your mirror. The mirror reflects back to you the feelings you have about yourself. It makes you immediately aware of where you are resisting and where you are open and flowing. It clearly shows you what thoughts you will need to change if you want to have a joyous, fulfilling life.
3. It’s so important to give yourself little positive messages throughout the day. The more you use mirrors for complimenting yourself, approving of yourself, and supporting yourself during difficult times, the deeper and more enjoyable your relationship with yourself will become.
DAY 1: LOVING YOURSELF
1. I want to like you. I want to really learn to love you. Let’s go for it and really have some fun. I’m learning to really like you, [name]. I’m learning to really love you.
2. If we do mirror work to create good in our lives but there’s a part of us that doesn’t believe we are worth it, we are not going to believe the words we are saying as we look in the mirror. We will reach a point at which we start thinking, Mirror work doesn’t work.
3. Each one of us has the ability to love ourselves more. Each one of us deserves to be loved. We deserve to live well, to be healthy, to be loved and loving, and to prosper. And that little child within each of us deserves to grow up into a wonderful adult. So see yourself surrounded by love. See yourself happy and healthy and whole. And see your life as you would like it to be, putting in all the details. Know that you deserve it.
4. And then take the love from your heart and let it begin to flow, filling your body and then moving out from you. Visualize the people you love sitting on either side of you. Let the love flow to those on your left and send the comforting thoughts. Surround them with love and support, and wish them well. And then let the love from your heart flow to the people on your right. Surround them with healing energies and love and peace and light. Let your love flow around the room until you are sitting in an enormous circle of love. Feel the love circulating as it goes out from you and then comes back to you multiplied.
5. Love is the most powerful healing force there is. You can take this love out into the world and silently share it with everyone you meet. Love yourself. Love one another. Love the planet and know that we are all one. And so it is.
DAY 2: MAKING YOUR MIRROR YOUR FRIEND
Today you begin to practice basic mirror work exercises, learning to look closely at yourself and beyond your old beliefs.
1. I love you. I really, really love you. I LOVE you. I really, really LOVE YOU.
How does that feel? You can be honest and say that it feels strange or stupid. Because it does feel strange and stupid at first. Or maybe you find it hard to do. It’s okay to feel this way. Loving yourself unconditionally is something you haven’t done before. Let yourself feel these feelings. Whatever you’re feeling, it’s a beginning, a very good place to start. I know that telling yourself I love you is difficult for many of you. I also know that you can do it, and I’m very proud of you for hanging in.
2. Using your name, say this affirmation [Name], I love you. I really, really love you. Take a few moments now to say it two or three more times: I really, really love you, [Name]. Keep repeating this affirmation over and over. I want you to be able to say it at least 100 times a day.
3. When you find it difficult to tell yourself I love you, it is most likely because you are judging yourself, repeating those old, negative messages. Don’t add to your discomfort by judging yourself for making judgments. Just relax and commit to saying the affirmation. Remember: you are committing to an affirmation that’s true. The truth is, we do love ourselves, when we are not judging ourselves.
4. It’s a good idea to have a tissue at hand when you are doing mirror work, because this work can be very evocative. Often it brings up emotions from the deep. The fact is, we may have been very unkind to ourselves. So when we start to love ourselves again, we become aware of the unloving attitudes we’ve been carrying for a long time, and that causes a certain amount of grief. But the grief is being released. So let yourself feel what you feel and accept those feelings. Don’t judge them. Mirror work is all about self-love and self-acceptance.
5. I’ve encouraged you to practice your mirror work first thing in the morning. Sometimes that’s the hardest time of day to do it because we feel that we don’t look our best in the morning. But that is just a judgment, and what we are doing in mirror work is looking into the mirror without judgment so we can see who we really are.
Deserving has nothing to do with being good. It is our unwillingness to receive the good in life that gets in the way. Allow yourself to accept the good, whether you think you deserve it or not.
DAY 3: MONITORING YOUR SELF TALK
Today you learn more about changing the messages you give yourself, clearing out negative thoughts from the past so you can live in the present moment.
1. The best way to love yourself is to release all the negative messages from your past and live in the present moment. So today, I’d like to work with you on changing what I call your self-talk—what you say to yourself in your head. The way we talk to ourselves inwardly is really important because it becomes the basis of our spoken words. It sets up the mental atmosphere in which we operate and attracts our experiences to us. If we belittle ourselves, life is going to mean very little to us. However, if we love and appreciate ourselves, then life can be a wonderful, joyous gift.
2. You can practice positive self-talk during your mirror work, making only positive statements about yourself and repeating only positive affirmations. If any of the negative self-talk from your childhood comes up, you can turn it around into a positive statement. For example, “You never do anything right!” could become the affirmation I am a capable person, and I can handle anything that comes my way. As you listen to yourself and others, you can become more aware of what you say and how and why you say it. This awareness will help you change your self-talk into affirmations that will nurture and heal you in body and mind. What a wonderful way to love yourself! Let’s affirm: I release all the negative messages from the past. I live in the present moment.
3. Say this affirmation: Whatever I say to myself, I will say it with love. Is there a statement that you heard as a child that still sticks in your head? Maybe something like “You’re stupid” or “You’re not good enough,” or whatever else comes to mind. Take time to work with negative statements and turn them into positive affirmations: I am smart. I am more intelligent than I realize. I am a genius with an abundance of creative ideas. I am a magnificent person. I am lovable. I am worth loving.
4. Most of us have foolish ideas about who we are and many rigid rules about how life should be lived. Let’s remove the word should from our vocabulary forever. Should is a word that makes prisoners of us. Every time we use should, we are making ourselves wrong or someone else wrong. We are, in effect, saying: not good enough. What can be dropped now from your should list? Replace the word should with the word could. Could lets you know that you have a choice, and choice is freedom. We need to be aware that everything we do in life is done by choice. There is really nothing we have to do. We always have a choice.
DAY 4: LETTING GO OF YOUR PAST
Today you start to let go, release blame, forgive, and move on.
1. Can you imagine how wonderful it would be if every day you learned a new way to let go of the past and create harmony in your life? My dear ones, you have already started by doing your daily mirror work. Each day you are clearing out the layers, the blocks of the past. Each time you say an affirmation in front of the mirror, you are removing another layer. What are the layers of your past that are keeping you from living a happy and fulfilling life? What are the blocks preventing you from forgiving yourself and your past?
2. Everything in your life is a mirror of who you are. Just as a mirror reflects your image, your experiences reflect your inner beliefs. You can literally look at your experiences and determine what your beliefs are. If you look at the people in your life, you will see that they are all mirroring some belief you have about yourself. If you are always being criticized at work, it is probably because you are critical and have become the parent who criticized you as a child.
3. Remember: When something that’s happening in your life does not feel comfortable for you, you have the opportunity to look inside and ask, How am I contributing to this experience? What is it within me that believes I deserve this? How can I change this belief? How can I forgive myself and my past and learn to let go and move on?
4. Say these affirmations aloud: I am willing to let go. I release. I let go. I release all tension. I release all fear. I release all anger. I release all guilt. I release all sadness. I let go of old limitations and beliefs. I let go, and I am at peace. I am at peace with myself. I am at peace with the process of life. I am safe.
5. We create habits and patterns because they serve us in some way. It is amazing how many illnesses we create because we want to punish a parent. We may not be doing this consciously—in fact, in most cases it is not conscious. But when we start looking within, we find the pattern. We often create negativity because we do not know how to handle some area of life. If that’s the case, ask yourself: What am I feeling sorry about? Who am I angry at? What am I trying to avoid? How do I think this will this save me?
If you are not ready to let something go—you really want to hold on to it because it serves you—it doesn’t matter what you do; you will not be able to let it go. However, when you are ready to let something go, it is amazing how easy it is to release it.
DAY 5: BUILDING YOUR SELF-ESTEEM
Today you learn more about loving yourself with respect, gratitude, and the realization that your body, mind, and soul are miracles to be appreciated.
1. How did you feel when you woke up this morning? Did you smile when you looked in the mirror and said, I love you, darling, I really love you? Are you starting to believe it? After just a few days of mirror work, you may see that it has already started making a difference in your life. You may be smiling a little more today. You may be feeling much better when you look in the mirror and see your beautiful face. You may be feeling much better about yourself. Are you beginning to love and approve of the person you see in the mirror?
Love is the great miracle cure. Loving ourselves works miracles in our lives.
2. Loving yourself means having great respect for everything about you, inside and out. It is deep gratitude for the miracle of your body and your mind and your soul. Loving yourself is appreciation to such a degree that it fills your heart until it bursts, overflowing with the joy of being YOU.
3. Think how perfect you were when you were a tiny baby! Babies do not have to do anything to become perfect; they already are perfect, and they act as if they know it. They know they are the center of the Universe. They are not afraid to ask for what they want. They freely express their emotions. You know when a baby is angry—in fact, the whole neighborhood knows. You also know when babies are happy—their smiles light up a room. They are full of love. Tiny babies will die if they do not get love. Once we are older, we learn to live without love—or try to—but babies will not stand for it. Babies love every part of their bodies.
Affirm: I am good enough. I am worth loving.
4. If any negative thoughts come up—such as "How can I approve of myself when I am fat?", or "It’s silly to think that I can think this way", or "I am no good"—don’t resist them, don’t fight them, don’t judge them. Let them just be there. Stay focused on what you really want to experience, which is to love and approve of yourself. You can gently let.go of other thoughts that intrude and stay focused on I love myself and approve of myself. What we are doing in mirror work is trying to get back to the heart of who we really are. We want to experience who we are when we are not judging ourselves.
5. I am totally adequate for all situations.
I choose to feel good about myself.
I am worthy of my own love.
I stand on my own two feet.
I accept and use my own power.
It is safe for me to speak up for myself.
I am loved and accepted exactly as I am, right here and right now.
My self-esteem is high because I honor who I am.
My life gets more fabulous every day. I look forward to what each new hour
brings.
I am neither too little nor too much, and I do not have to prove myself to anyone.
Life supports me in every possible way.
My consciousness is filled with loving, positive, healthy thoughts that are
reflected in my experience.
The greatest gift I can give myself is unconditional love. I love myself exactly as
I am. I no longer wait to be perfect in order to love myself.
DAY 6: RELEASING YOUR INNER CRITIC
Today you learn to break the habit of judgment and self-criticism, and to go beyond the need to put yourself down.
1. The more mirror work you do, the more aware of your self-talk you become. If I asked you to play a tape of your inner dialogue today, what would it sound like? It is so important to do your mirror work, because it makes you acutely aware of judgments and negative self-talk and allows you to release your inner critic as soon as you can. You will never be able to love yourself until you go beyond thenneed to put yourself down and make life wrong.
2. When you make it okay to be yourself, then you automatically allow others to be themselves. Their little habits no longer bother you as much. You release the need to change others as you want them to be. Then, as you stop judging others, they release the need to judge you. Everybody gets to be free.
3. Our feelings are thoughts in action. There is no need to feel any guilt or shame about them. They serve a purpose, and when you release negative thoughts fromnyour mind and body, you allow space inside for other, more positive feelings and experiences. Let’s affirm: It is now safe for me to release my inner critic and move into love.
4. When we complain about someone, we are really complaining about ourselves. When we can truly love and accept who we are, there is nothing to complain about. We cannot hurt ourselves, and we cannot hurt another person. Let’s make a vow that we will no longer criticize ourselves for anything.
5. In order to be whole, we must accept all of ourselves. So let your heart open, and make plenty of room in there for all parts of yourself: the parts you are proud of, the parts that embarrass you, the parts you reject, and the parts you love. They are all you. You’re beautiful. We all are. When your heart is full of love for yourself, then you have so much to share with others.
You are perfect, whole, and complete, and all is well in your wonderful world. And so it is.
DAY 7: LOVING YOURSELF: A REVIEW OF YOUR FIRST WEEK
Today you look at how far you’ve come and how much you’ve accomplished toward breaking free of your old beliefs and discovering future possibilities.
1. Doing mirror work is a true act of love, one of the most loving gifts you can give yourself. Each day that you practice your mirror work, you may fall in love with yourself a little bit more. The best way to love yourself is to release all the junk from your past—the self-judgments, then old stories that hold you back—so you can live in the present moment. When you can turn these negative affirmations into positive statements and practice them looking into your mirror, you can let go of some of these past hurts and move on.
2. Each day that you do your mirror work, you are clearing out the layers of the past. Each time you say an affirmation in the mirror, you are removing another block in these layers. It has taken years for these layers to form, built of blocks like the bricks that make up a large wall. It will take time to break through these layers, but you can start with one block.
3. If every now and then you hear the voice of your inner critic picking on you for something or making a negative remark, it is okay. You always have your friend and companion—your mirror—to turn to. Look yourself deeply in the eyes and say, I am worth loving. And keep up the good work!
Let’s affirm: I celebrate this week of loving myself with mirror work. I now move into a new space of consciousness in which I am willing to see myself differently.
4. We came to this lifetime equipped with everything we need in order to live fully and richly. We have all the wisdom and knowledge we need. We have all the abilities and talents we need. We have all the love we need. Life is here to support us and take care of us. We need to know and trust that this is so.
5. Doors are constantly closing and opening, and if we stay centered in ourselves, then we will always be safe, no matter which doorway we pass through. Even when we pass through the last doorway on this planet, it is not the end. It is simply the beginning of another new adventure. Trust that it is all right to experience change. Today is a new day. We will have many wonderful new experiences. We are loved. We are safe.
DAY 8: LOVING YOUR INNER CHILD--PART ONE
Today you look beyond the adult you see in the mirror and meet your inner child.
1. It doesn’t matter how old you are; there is a little child within you who needs love and acceptance. If you are a woman, no matter how self-reliant you are, you have a little girl inside who is very tender and needs help. If you are a man, no matter how self-confident you are, you have a little boy inside of you who craves warmth and affection.
2. Every time you feel scared, realize that it is the child within you who is scared. The adult isn’t afraid, yet it has disconnected and isn’t there for the child. The adult and the child need to develop a relationship with each other. How do you connect with your inner child? The first step is getting to know the child through your mirror work. Who is this child? Why is this child unhappy? What can you do to help this child feel safe and secure and loved?
3. Talk to your inner child about everything you do. I know it may sound silly, but it works. Let your inner child know that no matter what happens, you will never turn away from it or leave it but will always be there for it and love it. All your inner child really wants is to be noticed, to feel safe, and to be loved. If you can take just a few moments a day to begin to connect with the little person inside of you, life is going to be a lot better.
Let’s affirm: I am willing to love and accept my inner child.
4. Take care of your inner child. It is the child who is frightened. It is the child who is hurting. It is the child who does not know what to do. Be there for your child. Embrace it and love it and do whatever you can to take care of its needs. Be sure to let your child know that no matter what happens, you will always be there for it. You will never turn away or desert it. You will always love this child.
DAY 9: LOVING YOUR INNER CHILD--PART TWO
Today you use mirror work to forgive the past and begin to love the beautiful child within.
1. Many of us have an inner child who is lost and lonely and feels rejected. Perhaps the only contact we have had with our inner child for a long time is to scold and criticize it. Then we wonder why we are unhappy. We cannot reject a part of ourselves and still be in harmony within..Today, let’s use our mirror work to move beyond our parents’ limitations and connect with the little lost child inside. Let’s forgive the past and begin to love.this beautiful child within. This child needs to know that we care.
2. Your inner child still carries the beliefs you developed early on. If your parents had rigid ideas and you are now very hard on yourself or you tend to build walls around you, your inner child is probably still following your parents’ rules. If you continue to pick on yourself for every mistake, it must be very scary for your inner child to wake up in the morning thinking, What is my parent going to yell at me about today? What our parents did to us in the past was a product of their consciousness. We are the parents now. We are using our consciousness now. If you are still refusing to take care of your inner child, you are stuck in your own resentment. Invariably that means there is someone you still need to forgive. What resentment do you need to let go of? What haven’t you forgiven yourself for?
3. For now, visualize that you are taking your inner child by the hand and going everywhere together for a few days. See what joyous experiences you can have. This may sound silly, but please try it. It really works. Create a wonderful life for yourself and your inner child. The Universe will respond, and you will find ways to heal your inner child and the adult you. No matter what your early childhood was like—happy or sad—you and only you are in charge of your life now. You can spend your time blaming your parents, or you can embrace love.
4. Love is the biggest eraser I know. It erases even the deepest and most painful memories, because love goes deeper than anything else. Think for a moment: Do you want a life of pain or one of joy? The choice and power are always within you. Look into your eyes, and love yourself and the little child within.
Let’s affirm: I love my inner child. I am in charge of my life now.
5. Life is an endless opportunity to love yourself—past, present, and future. Loving and accepting every part of yourself is healing. How can you possibly be whole or healed if you are rejecting any part of yourself? Healing is to make yourself whole again. Love yourself, every part of yourself, and be whole. All is well. And so it is.
DAY 10: LOVING YOUR BODY, HEALING YOUR PAIN
The lesson today is about pain: what it is, where it comes from, what it’s telling you, and what you can learn from it.
1. No one wants to be in pain, but if you have it, what can you learn from it? Where does pain come from? What is it trying to tell you? Since pain can be a manifestation of either physical or mental disease, it is clear that both the body and mind are susceptible to it. The body, like everything else in life, is a mirror of our inner thoughts and beliefs. It is always talking to us, if we will only take the time to listen. Every cell within our body responds to every single thought we think and every word we speak.
2. The body is always aspiring to achieve optimum health, no matter what we do. However, if we abuse the body with unhealthy food and unhealthy thoughts, we contribute to our discomfort. Pain is the body’s way of waving a red flag to get our attention—a last-ditch effort to inform us that something is wrong in our life.
3. Sometimes people actually want to be sick. In our society, we’ve made pain and illness a legitimate way to avoid responsibility or unpleasant situations. If we cannot learn to say no, then we may have to invent a disease to say no for us. At some point, however, you have to pay attention to what’s going on. Allow yourself to listen to your body, because fundamentally your body wants to be healthy, and it needs you to cooperate with it.
Let’s affirm: I love my body. I return my body to optimal health by giving it what it needs on every level.
4. In this world of change, you choose to be flexible in all areas. You are willing to change yourself and your beliefs to improve the quality of your life and your world. Your body loves you in spite of how you may treat it. Your body communicates with you, and you now listen to its messages. You are willing to get the message. You pay attention and make the necessary corrections. You love m your body and give it what it needs on every level to bring it back to optimal health. You call upon an inner strength that is yours whenever you need it.
5. Here are some positive affirmations to support your health and healing. Repeat them often:
I enjoy the foods that are best for my body.
I love every cell of my body.
I make healthy choices.
I have respect for myself.
I look forward to a healthy old age because I take loving care of my body now.
I am constantly discovering new ways to improve my health.
I return my body to optimum health by giving it what it needs on every level.
Healing happens. I get my mind out of the way and allow the intelligence of my body to do its healing work naturally.
I have a special guardian angel. I am divinely guided and protected at all times.
Perfect health is my divine right, and I claim it now.
I am grateful for my healthy body. I love life.
I am the only person who has control over my eating habits. I can always resist something if I choose to.
Water is my favorite beverage. I drink lots of water to cleanse my body and mind.
Filling my mind with pleasant thoughts is the quickest road to health.
DAY 11: FEELING GOOD, RELEASING YOUR ANGER
Today you address anger: how to process it and release it before it makes you sick, and how to allow space inside for more positive emotions.
1. While you were digging into your past and releasing your emotions, you may have discovered some angry feelings aimed at yourself or a particular event. So today I’d like to help you work on forgiving and releasing any anger you might have, so that you can feel good about yourself. Anger is an honest emotion. But when it is not expressed or processed outwardly, it will be processed inwardly, in the body, and usually develops into a disease or dysfunction of some sort.
2. We generally get angry about the same things over and over again. When we are angry, we feel we don’t have a right to express it, so we swallow it, which can cause resentment, bitterness, or depression. So it’s good to handle our anger and release it whenever it comes up. If you feel like expressing yourself physically, then get.some pillows and start hitting them. Don’t be afraid to let your anger take its natural course. You have already kept your feelings bottled up too long. There is no need to feel any guilt or shame about feeling angry.
3. Go within and know that there is an answer to your anger and that you will find it. It is very healing to meditate and visualize the rage flowing freely out of your body. Send love to the person who is the object of your anger and see your love dissolve whatever disharmony there is between you. Be willing to become harmonious. Perhaps the anger you feel is reminding you that you are not communicating well with others. By recognizing this, you can correct it.
Let’s affirm: It is okay to have my feelings. Today I express how I am feeling in positive ways.
4. Life is very simple. We create our experiences by our patterns of thought and feeling. What we believe about ourselves and about life becomes true for us. Thoughts are only words strung together. They have no meaning whatsoever. It is we who give meaning to them. We give meaning to them by focusing on the negative messages over and over in our minds. What we do with our feelings is very important. Are we going to act them out? Will we punish others? Sadness, loneliness, guilt, anger, and fear are all normal emotions. But when these feelings take over and become predominant, life can be an emotional battlefield.
What we give out comes back to us multiplied. Give your love. And so it is.
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