LOVE YOURSELF HEAL YOUR LIFE PART 1 (LOUISE HAY)

PART 1: INTRODUCTION

CHAPTER 1: BASIC TECHNIQUES

“I am willing to change”.

1. This is a book about change. I know, you want everybody and everything else to change. Your mother, father, boss, friend, sister, lover, landlord, neighbor, minister, or government official must change so that your life can be perfect. It doesn’t work that way. If you want change in your life, then you are the one who must do the changing. When you change, then all the other people in your world will change in relation to you. Are you willing to change?

2. Life is very simple. What we give out, we get back. I believe that all of us are responsible for every experience in our lives, the best and the worst. Every thought we think is creating our future. Each one of us creates our experiences by the thoughts we think and the words we speak.

3. Our subconscious mind accepts whatever we choose to believe. The Universal Power never judges or criticizes us. It only accepts us at our own value. If you accept a limiting belief, then it will become the truth for you. Remember that we are dealing with thoughts, and thoughts can be changed. We have unlimited choices about what we can think, and the point of power is always in the present moment. What are you thinking in the present moment? Is it positive or negative? Do you want this thought to be creating your future?

4. When we grow up, we have a tendency to recreate the emotional environment of our early home life. We also tend to recreate in our personal relationships, those we had with our mother and father. If we were highly criticized as children, then we will seek out those in our adult life who will duplicate this behavior. If we were praised, loved, and encouraged as children, then we will recreate this behavior.

Thoughts can be changed. Change the thought, and the feeling must go. 

The past has no power over us. It does not matter how long we have been in a negative pattern. We can be free in this moment.

5. The road to freedom is through the doorway to forgiveness. We may not know how to forgive, and we may not want to forgive; but if we are willing to forgive, we may begin the healing process. It is imperative for our own healing that we release the past and forgive everyone.

6. I find that when we really love, accept, and approve of ourselves exactly as we are, everything in life flows. Self-approval and self-acceptance here and now are the keys to positive changes in every area of our lives. Loving the self, to me, means to never, ever criticize ourselves for anything. Criticism locks us into the very pattern we are trying to change. Try approving of yourself and see what happens. You’ve been criticizing yourself for years. Has it worked?

7. Workbook terminology:
• Affirmation

Make positive statements about how you want your life to be. One important point is: Always make your statements in the PRESENT TENSE, such as “I am” or “I have.” Your subconscious mind is such an obedient servant that if you declare in the future tense, “I want,” or “I will have,” then that is where it will always stay-just out of your reach in the future.
~ Mirror work

I ask people to look in their own eyes and say something positive about themselves every time they pass a mirror. The most powerful way to do affirmations is to look in the mirror and say them out loud. You are immediately aware of the resistance and can move through it quicker.
~ Visualization
Visualization is the process of using the imagination to achieve a desired result. Put most simply, you see what you want to happen, before it actually does happen.
~ Deservability
Deserving has nothing to do with having good. It is our unwillingness to accept that gets in the way. Allow yourself to accept good, whether you think you deserve it or not.

CHAPTER 2: WHO ARE YOU? WHAT DO YOU BELIEVE

“I see myself with eyes of love and I am safe"

1. We all have many positive things we believe, and we want to continue to reinforce these. And many of our beliefs are negative and continue to contribute to uncomfortable experiences. It is impossible for us to change any limiting beliefs unless we know what they are. Look at this list of words. Write down what they mean to you. For example, do you believe that: MEN...

Men are strong.

Men are bossy.

Men are smart.

WOMEN...

LOVE...

SEX... 

WORK... 

MONEY... 

SUCCESS... 

FAILURE... 

GOD... 

2. Notice the areas that are difficult for you. Do you have conflicting beliefs? How many of your answers are negative? Put a star beside these answers. Do you really want to continue to build your life on these convictions? Be aware that someone taught you these ideas. Now that you have seen them, you can choose to let them go.

3. Many of us have an inner child who is lost and lonely and feels so rejected. Perhaps the only contact we have had with our inner child for a long times is to scold it and criticize it. Then we wonder why we are unhappy. We cannot reject a part of us and still be in harmony within. Part of healing is to gather all the parts of ourselves so we may be whole and complete.

4. Memorize this. When these concepts become part of your belief system, you will have a different perspective on life:

• We are each responsible for our experiences

• Every thought we think is creating our future

• Everyone is dealing with the damaging patterns of resentment, criticism, guilt, and self-hatred

• These are only thoughts and thoughts can be changed

• We need to release the past and forgive everyone

• Self-approval and self-acceptance in the “now” are the keys to positive changes

• The point of power is always in the present moment.

5. It is not the people, places, and things that are creating a problem for you; it is how you are “perceiving and reacting” to these life experiences. Take responsibility for your own life. Do not give your power away. Learn to understand more of your inner, spiritual-self, and operate under that power that created only good for you.

“I give myself permission to learn”.

PART II: THE PROCESS

CHAPTER 3: HEALTH

“I restore and maintain my body at optimum health”.

1. I believe that we contribute to every “illness” in our body. The body, as with everything else in life, is a mirror of our inner thoughts and beliefs. Our body is always talking to us, if we will only take the time to listen. Every cell within our bodies responds to every single thought we think. When we discover what the mental pattern is behind an illness, we have a chance to change the pattern and, therefore, the dis-ease.

2. Most people do not want to be sick on a conscious level, yet every dis-ease that we have is a teacher. Illness is the body’s way of telling us that  there is a false idea in our consciousness. Something that we are believing, saying, doing, or thinking is not for our highest good. I always picture the body tugging at us saying, “Please-pay attention!”

3. True healing involves body, mind, and spirit. I believe that if we “cure” an illness, yet do not address the emotional and spiritual issues that surround that illness, it will only manifest itself again.

Are you willing to release the need that has contributed to your health problems? Once again, when we have a condition that we want to change, the first thing that we have to do is to say so. Say: “I am willing to release the need in me that has created this condition.” Say it again. Say it looking in the mirror. Say it every time that you think about your condition. It is the first step in creating a change.

“I give myself permission to be well”.

CHAPTER 4: FEELING GOOD

“It is my divine right to be comfortable”.

1. Emotional problems are among the most painful of all. Occasionally we may feel angry, sad, lonely, guilty, anxious, or frightened. When these feelings take over and become predominant, our life can become an emotional battleground. What we do with our feelings is important. Are we going to act them out? Will we punish others or force our will upon them? Will we abuse ourselves in some way? The belief that we are not good enough is often at the root of these problems. Good mental health begins with loving the self. When we love and approve of ourselves completely, the good and the so-called bad, we can begin to change.

Part of self-acceptance is releasing other people’s opinions. 

2. Remember, feelings of inadequacy start with negative thoughts that we have about ourselves. However, these thoughts have no power over us unless we act upon them. Thoughts are only words strung together. They have no meaning whatsoever. Only WE give meaning to them. We give meaning to them by focusing on the negative messages over and over again in our minds. We believe the worst about ourselves. And we choose what kind of meaning we give to them. 

Whatever pain we might be in, let’s choose thoughts that nourish and support us. 

3. If you have any negative feelings in your body, then affirm: “I release the pattern in my consciousness that is creating resistance to my good. I deserve to feel good”. Repeat this until you feel acceptance. Do this several days in a row.

“I give myself permission to relax“.

CHAPTER 5: FEARS AND PHOBIAS

“Fears are merely thoughts and thoughts can be released”.

1. In any given situation, I believe that we have a choice between love and fear. We experience fear of change, fear of not changing, fear of the future, and fear of taking a chance. We fear intimacy, and we fear being alone. We fear letting people know what we need and who we are, and we fear letting go of the past. At the other end of the spectrum we have love. Love is the miracle we are all looking for. Loving ourselves works miracles in our lives. I am not talking about vanity or arrogance, for that is not love. That is fear. I am talking about having a great respect for ourselves and a gratitude for the miracle of our body and our mind.

2. Susan Jeffers, in her marvelous book, Feel the Fear and Do It Anyway, states that “if everybody feels fear when approaching something totally new in life, yet so many are out there ‘doing it’ despite the fear, then we must conclude that fear is not the problem”. She goes on to say that the real issue is not the fear, but how we hold the fear. We can approach it from a position of power or helplessness. The fact that we have the fear becomes irrelevant.

3. We see what we think the problem is, and then we find out what the real problem is. Not feeling “good enough” and a lack of self-love is the real problem. We are always perfect, always beautiful, and ever-changing. We are doing the best we can with the understanding, knowledge, and awareness that we have. As we grow and change more and more, our “best” will only get better and better.

“I give myself permission to be at peace”.

CHAPTER 6: ANGER

“I accept all my emotions with love”.

1. Anger is a natural and normal emotion. Babies get furious, express their fury and then it’s over. Many of us have learned that it’s not nice, or polite, or acceptable for us to be angry. We learn to swallow our angry feelings. They settle in our bodies, in the joints and muscles. They accumulate and become resentment. Layer upon layer of buried anger turned into resentment can contribute to dis-eases like arthritis, assorted pains, and even cancer.

2. We need to acknowledge all our feelings, including anger, and find positive ways to express these feelings. We don’t have to hit people or dump on them, yet we can say simply and clearly, “This makes me angry”. Or “I am angry at what you did”. If it is not appropriate to say this, we still have many options: we can scream into a pillow. Beat the bed. Kick pillows. Run. Yell in the car with the windows rolled up. Play tennis. These are all healthy outlets.

A quick and simple thing to do when you are overwhelmed with your feelings is to jump up and down several times saying in a loud voice, “Yes! No! Get off my back! Yes! No! Get off my back!” Try it. It works wonders for a quick release.

3. If you have a lot of buried anger, you may be a person who walks around being angry all the time. The anger is smoldering just under the surface. The smallest thing will set it off. You may not express this anger, but you will mutter under your breath and have lots of resentful, judgmental thoughts. You may be a person who criticizes everyone around you. And if you do, you certainly will criticize yourself, too. So you may ask yourself: What do I get from being angry all the time?

We are all seeking love and approval. That’s what we want from everyone, and that’s what everyone wants from us. Love and approval brings harmony into our lives. 

"I give myself permission to acknowledge my feelings”.

CHAPTER 7: CRITISM AND JUDGEMENT

1. Most of us have such a strong habit of judgment and criticism that we cannot easily break it. It is also the most important issue to work on immediately. We will never be able to really love ourselves until we go beyond the need to make life wrong. As a little baby you were so open to life. You looked at the world with eyes of wonder. Unless something was scary or someone harmed you, you accepted life just as it was. Later, as you grew up, you began to accept the opinions of others and to make them your own. You learned how to criticize.

2. Perhaps you were led to believe that you need to criticize yourself in order to grow and change. I do not agree with that concept at all! I believe that criticism shrivels our spirits. It only enforces the belief that “we are not good enough”. It certainly does not bring out the best in us.

3. In order for a child to grow and blossom, it needs love, acceptance, and praise. We can be shown “better” ways to do things without making the way we do it “wrong”. The child inside of you still needs that love and approval. If your child, or your inner child, is used to constantly being “wrong,” it may take awhile for them to accept the new, positive words. If you make a definite decision to release criticism, and are consistent, you can work miracles.

4. As you release the need to pick on yourself all the time, you will notice that you no longer criticize others so much. When you make it okay to be yourself, then you automatically allow others to be themselves. Their little habits no longer bother you so much. You release the need to “change them” as you want to be. As you stop judging others, they release the need to judge you. Everybody gets to be free.

CHAPTER 8: ADDICTIONS 

“No person, place, or thing has any power over me. I am free”.

1. Addictive behavior is another way of saying, “I’m not good enough”. When we are caught in this type of behavior, we are trying to run away from ourselves. We cannot be in touch with our feelings. Something that we are believing, saying, or doing is too painful for us to look at, so we overeat, drink, act out compulsive sexual behavior, take pills, spend money that we don’t have, and create abusive love relationships.

2. Loving and approving of yourself, trusting in the process of life, and feeling safe because you know the power of your own mind are extremely important issues when dealing with addictive behavior. Honesty, forgiveness, self-love, and a willingness to live in the truth can help to heal these early wounds and give the addictive person a reprieve from their behavior. I also find the addictive personality to be a fearful one. There is a great fear of letting go and trusting the life process. As long as we believe that the world is an unsafe place with people and situations waiting to “get” us-then that belief will be our reality.

Say: “I am willing to release the need for ——————————— in my life. I release it now and trust in the process of life to meet my needs”. Say it every morning in your daily meditation and prayers. You have taken another step to freedom.

3. Saying “I approve of myself” is guaranteed to bring up everything in your consciousness that is in opposition. When a negative thought like, “How can you approve of yourself-you spent all of your money” or “You just ate two pieces of cake” or “You”ll never amount to anything,” or whatever your negative babble may be, this is the time to take mental control. Give it no importance. Just see the thought for what it is, another way to keep you stuck in the past. Gently say to this thought, “Thank you for sharing. I let you go, I approve of myself”. These thoughts of resistance will have no power over you unless you choose to believe them.

“I give myself permission to change”.